Page 13 of This Blood that Bonds Us

Now that I wasn’t thinking of blood, I was thinking of everything else. My brothers were gone, and I didn’t know how to find them. I was wasting so much time. My little brother was annoyed with me, and I didn’t know how to make it better. And . . . I’d bitten Kimberly.

“You look like you.” She ran her hands through my hair.

AndKimberly was freshly changed and doing everything on her own because I had been too busy walking around in the woods.

“This should be about you, and as usual, I’m making everything about me. Taking up everyone’s time . . .”

I just wanted to have normal vampire problems. Why did it have to be so hard for me?

“You can always take up my time.”

I smiled and went to pull her in for a kiss when I spotted my brother coming through the parking lot.

“Oh, shit. He’s coming.”

We made a mad dash to get Kimberly dressed, then crawled into the front seat.

The back door opened, then closed.

“Kim, your hair . . .”

She sucked in a breath, smoothing down the frizzy and out-of-place pieces.

“It looks so badass. Why didn’t you tell me you were going to dye it? I would have done mine too.”

She sighed. “I’m glad you like it. I’m not sure how I feel about it yet.”

“Don’t worry. It will grow on you. Style it a little and . . .”

There was brief silence.

“Uh, Kim, I think this is yours.” He held her bra up by the straps. “I specifically got another hotel so you guys could havealone time. Do you guys need me to go take a lap?” Presley was joking again, and even if it was annoying, I was happy to hear it.

“No.” I smiled, putting the car in drive. “Do you have everything you need?”

They both nodded.

“Hey, why is there a crack in my window? Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

Six

Kimberly

We drove all day. The winters there were nothing like I was used to. There were no tall trees bathing the warm woods in darkness, and the only time I’d seen that much snow was duringa rare blizzard when I was thirteen. Blackheart was far away from me.

I sat in the passenger seat with my sunglasses on and let the dull roar of the tires fill the silence. During the day, the light reflecting off the snow was too much. Like the music from the radio was splitting. It was slowly getting better. It was as if all the nerves in my body were firing on full blast. The first few days after the fire were the worst. My head pounded. My eyes hurt. My teeth hurt. My skin. And the sound . . . I couldn’t get away from the sound. It made it impossible to think at a time when I really needed to use my brain to its fullest extent. The transition was technically done, but it was taking a lot of getting used to.

Oddly enough, I didn’t miss sleep. Since that night in the church with Kilian, I had nightmares that kept me up at night. I thought there would be things I missed, and there were, just not as much as I’d thought. No matter which way I looked at it, being immortal was always better. With it came the safety and assurance I never had before. I’d always wanted certainty in my life, and this came close to reaching it, and it would have if it hadn’t been for our vampire cult issue.

It helped having someone who missed everything. Aaron gave me permission to grieve the little things, and he held my hand when it came to the bigger ones. I think he was expecting me to be more upset. The first night I didn’t sleep, he lay in bed with me, and we awaited the sunrise. He watched me with such care, like he thought I might break, but I didn’t miss dreaming. I was certain if I had dreamed, I would’ve dreamed of fire.

I’d be lying if sometimes I didn’t wish it had been as Luke planned—all of us together hidden in a cabin or in a car—but it felt selfish to want that. Because I’d have never taken the burden of any responsibility from Luke. The twins would still be shouldering it all on their own. I wouldn’t have had to be asconcerned with every little detail and step we took. The three of us would be free to do something that wasn’t so stressful.

I was understanding how unfair that was. The burden they shared while Aaron, Presley, and I ran around Blackheart dancing, going to school . . . falling in love. It had only been around two weeks since they were taken, and I was ready to throw in the towel. Or at least take a long hot bath.

The Calem brothers had become my responsibility. I was choosing for them to be, like they’d chosen me. It was no longer just Kimberly Burns. I had people who cared about me and people I cared about. People I’d risk everything for. And that was a dangerous place to be.

Luke had prepared an icy paradise for us to hide in safety. One with blankets of freshly fallen snow that went on for miles. Frozen branches and buds encased in ice that would never bloom. This place seemed as though it would never thaw. Our paradise didn’t hold peace, only a gnawing emptiness at their absence. Presley and Aaron held an unspoken fear in their eyes. Their compass was gone, and it had thrown everything off its axis. I felt how deep the loss was for Aaron and Presley in every one of their interactions. It was apparent with every conversation ending in a heated debate, no matter the subject: a car, where we should stay, how long everything would take.