Page 135 of Things I Overshared

Can I forgive him? Should I? Okay, obviously, I should. I’m covered in heaps of grace myself, and I believe I should dole it out freely to everyone. So, Icanforgive him. Eventually. But take him back? Let him start over, or try to continue where we left off? What did Susan even mean by that? I’m not even sure where we left off, exactly.

And!

He hasn’t texted, called, emailed, nothing. Susan said he didn’t leave Dallas without a thought, so he’s still in Dallas? Or he’s thought of me? Obviously, he’s talked to Adam and Susan, but why can’t the idiot talk to me himself?

Should I text him? No. Hell no! If he wants to talk to me, to ask for forgiveness or for friendship or anything else, he can freaking make an effort. I’m the injured party here, painfully, brutally so. I’m not doing a damn thing.

I cycle through these same thoughts during my dinner, my weird sci-fi movie, and my nighttime routine. I huff as I get into the luxurious guest bed that I now call my own, standing firm—well, lying down firm. If my sisters are so hell-bent on this forgiveness crap, then he. Can. Come. To. Me. I close my eyes, but I barely sleep.

_________

Susan: Good morning! So??? What do you think?

Sally: Personally, I think it’s too early for you to be texting.

Me: I think I could theoretically forgive him in the future, yes.

If he asked. Or made some kind of effort.

I’ll remind you he hasn’t called or texted or emailed.

No flowers, no romantic gestures.

Susan: You mean since the gesture when he flew across the country to explain himself and beg you for forgiveness?

Sally: She makes a fair point

Ok one gesture. But I told him to leave and he did.

He hasn’t tried to change my mind

And I am NOT calling him.

But in theory, yes, I think I can forgive him.

Someday.

I groan and get out of bed. Sally was right. Why is Susan up my butt about this before 9:00a.m.? When I head out to the kitchen, Sadie is already awake, which is not usual for her. But instead of sitting at her table reading, she’s approaching me with coffee.

“I have an idea,” she says, excited.

“Okay?”

“How about a little road trip to get your mind off everything? And to celebrate the new job.”

“Sure, where to?”

“Not far, but I want to surprise you.”

“Okay, I love a good road trip.” I smile, growing excited with her. “Oooo I even have our old road trip playlist I’ve been meaning to update!”

“Perf! It’s hot as balls, though, so let’s wait until late afternoon. I can finish a few chapters before we go?”

“Sure.”

_________

We pull out at about five, even though we were aiming for four. Still, Sadie is almost giddy about whatever her little surprise is, and I’m ready to get out of the apartment. My phone has been silent all day. No more nagging texts from Susan, but still, I feel anxious about it all.