Page 119 of Things I Overshared

He’s a coward.

That’s got to be what this is.

From the cinnamon roll to the jealousy with Thomas, to the words, so many loving, beautiful, carefully chosen words out of his mouth.

With those conclusions came a terrifying feeling I knew too well: hope.

But I know what I felt. I know what we had was real. I don’t believe he doesn’t want a future together. There’s something he’s not telling me.

So I made a plan. I wouldn’t tell anyone the news, wouldn’t act any differently. They could assume Emerson and I were taking a few days off for a sexcation at his—what I’m sure is an immaculate and ridiculously expensive—apartment. Sunday, I got home, so Monday he’d arrive home, and then Tuesday he’d be back in the office. And there, the coward was going to have to face me.

I let him off the hook too easily in London. This time, he was going to have to look me in my big, blue, hopeful eyes and face the truth. He was also going to have to take in my tight navy dress he loves and the sexiest office-appropriate pumps I have. I haven’t been able to bring myself to take the necklace off yet, so he’ll have to face that too.

It was all a big, brave, badass plan.

And now I’m going to be sick.

I’ve made it to the lobby of our building. I know he’s in by now; in fact, everyone is probably in by now. I was so nervous, I kept botching my eyeliner. It took me three tries.

I shove my shoulders back and walk to the elevators.No crap, Samantha. He’s just scared. You got this.

In the elevator, I put on the persona of, well, myself, if I was not actually heartsick and anxious as all hell. I put on a smile and breeze into the office.

“Yassss the bitch is baaaack!” Nicole sings quietly from her desk in the lobby.

“Heeeyyyyyyy!” We squeal and hug.

She eyes my necklace.

“Holy shit, it’s gorgeous!”

“Right?” I say as I normally would. As if everything is fine.

“He’s already in.” She looks to Emerson’s office and back to me. “I figured you guys would come together?”

“Nah, uh, don’t have stuff at his place yet. Anyway, I’m actually a little late. I better get after it.”

“Okay, you wanna do lunch?”

“Maybe, let me check in with Darrin and the team and get back to you.”

I turn and wonder if it’s obvious to Marge, whose desk I’m approaching, that my heart is trying to pound outside my actual chest cavity. I can barely think over my pulse thrumming in my ears.

“Good morning, Ms. Wayne!”

“Welcome back, Miss Canton.” She nods.

“Thanks, great to be back.” I stalk past his office, because of course his door is shut, and head to Darrin’s.

“Hey, boss!” I say, too loudly. I can’t help it. I want Emerson to know I’ve come in.

“There’s our rock star! I cannot believe some of the deals you two managed to seal over there. Maybe I’ll send you on all my trips!”

“I mean, if they’re all to Europe, consider it done!” We laugh. “I’m just going to get settled, and then we can meet up in a little bit?”

“Sure, no rush. I know you’ll have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Thanks.” I smile and head into my office. I shut the door and collapse against it. I’m sweating like I just finished Zumba, and I haven’t even run into Emerson yet! I try to start in on my email inbox, which is out of control, even with working on the road. But my brain is not in my body. It’s hovering outside the office two doors down. I know he’ll go to lunch at 11:30 or 12:00, so I just have to listen for his door. At 11:00, I open my own door and wait.