Page 19 of The Wayward Lady (The Wayward Widows of Willoughby Hall #1)

W hen Lavender, Kendrick, and the children disembarked from the train the next day, they were more than ready to get off. The day and a half of travel in the cramped space had been challenging for them all.

Lavender held Teresa’s hand tightly as the little girl looked around her in awe.

The bustling platform of the Paris train station greeted them with a cacophony of sounds and a kaleidoscope of colors. Teresa’s eyes widened at the sights, her infectious excitement spreading to Rafael, who clung to her other hand, taking in the station's grandeur.

Kendrick stood close by, his gaze sweeping over the throngs of people moving hurriedly around them. She sensed he was watching for any sign of trouble, and his protectiveness warmed her. He might not realize it—in fact, she was certain he didn’t—but he was already doing a wonderful job as a father to these three children.

Miranda walked a few steps ahead, her posture tense and wary, as if she was bracing herself for any potential threats as well. Lavender couldn’t help but feel a pang of sorrow at the way she carried herself, burdened by a wariness that should never have been hers to bear.

“We’ll get some rooms at a hotel and then freshen up a bit before we go shopping,” Kendrick announced, having already arranged for their baggage to be taken to the hotel they had stayed at a few days ago.

“Yes,” Lavender said enthusiastically. “You all need new clothes, toys, books—”

“We don’t need anything,” Miranda said fiercely.

Kendrick paused, meeting Miranda’s defiant gaze. She was prideful and determined to prove she was self-sufficient and didn’t need anyone’s charity. In that way, she reminded Lavender so much of Kendrick. But vulnerability also lurked beneath the surface, the fear of depending on others and being let down once more.

“I understand you want to take care of your siblings, Miranda,” Kendrick began, obviously choosing his words carefully. “But it’s important for all of you to have proper clothes and things to make you feel comfortable. Let me do this for you all of you, please.”

Miranda’s expression softened slightly, a flicker of uncertainty passing across her features. She glanced at Lavender, who offered her a reassuring smile. She immediately jerked her gaze away, seeming angry at herself for having looked in her direction.

Lavender’s heart sank. It was starting to seem as though the girl was never going to give her a chance to be her friend.

“We’ll make sure it’s just a fun outing, Miranda. You don’t have to worry about anything,” Kendrick assured her, trying so hard to get through to her, to make her realize he was going to take care of her.

After a moment of contemplation, Miranda nodded reluctantly. “Teresa and Rafael do need new clothes.”

“Of course they do,” he said, obviously not wanting to push the idea of her getting anything until he must. “I know you’ve done the best you could, Miranda. But you don’t have to do it by yourself anymore.”

She blinked rapidly as if holding back a flood of tears, then whirled around and started marching toward the exit again, not wanting to show any sign of weakness. Lavender and Kendrick shared a pained look, and it was all Lavender could do not to chase after Miranda, pull the girl into her arms, and smother her with love. Unfortunately, she knew that would not be appreciated. In fact, that seemed to be the last thing she wanted.

“It’s going to be hard to get her to accept anything from me,” Kendrick muttered to Lavender.

“I don’t think we should push her,” Lavender said just as quietly. “It might take a few weeks before she’s ready to let you in.”

“If not longer,” Kendrick said with a sigh, trailing after his daughter with a look of pure longing on his face.

Lavender and the other children followed him, and soon they arrived at the hotel, where they all bathed the travel off them. Then they got dressed in the nicest clothes they had, which wasn’t saying much for the children. But at least they were clean.

After lunch in a café near the hotel, they were ready to go shopping.

As they made their way through the bustling streets of Paris, Lavender glanced over at Kendrick, noticing the way his eyes crinkled at the corners as he observed their surroundings. There was a hint of a smile on his lips, a rare sight that warmed her heart. She wondered if he was thinking of the night they had gone exploring, when they’d kissed on a bench in the moonlight. But perhaps he was just happy to show the children something they’d never seen before. Either way, for the moment at least, he seemed more relaxed than he’d been since he’d gone to the orphanage.

Rafael and Teresa skipped along beside her, their excitement palpable as they pointed out different sights and sounds to each other in their strange mixture of English and Spanish. They were especially awed by the Eiffel Tower. Lavender felt a surge of affection for the children, grateful for this opportunity to show them a world beyond their previous confines as well.

Miranda walked a few steps behind them, her gaze guarded but curious. Lavender could sense the wariness in her posture, but perhaps the walls she had built around herself were slowly softening. Lavender knew winning Miranda’s trust would be a slow and delicate process, but surely, it was possible. She had to believe it was possible because otherwise...

Otherwise, she might never have the chance to be a part of Kendrick’s family.

At last, they reached a small children’s boutique, its windows displaying an array of colorful premade garments and toys. Lavender could see the sparkle in Teresa and Rafael’s eyes as they pressed their faces against the glass, marveling at the beautiful dresses, small suits, and intricate toys on display. Miranda lingered a few steps behind, her arms folded defensively across her chest.

Taking a deep breath, Lavender turned to Miranda. “Would you like to go in here and help me pick some things for Teresa and Rafael?”

Miranda hesitated, her gaze flickering between Lavender and the shop window. Finally, she nodded, albeit reluctantly. “Yes,” she said quietly.

As they entered the store, a bell tinkled above the door, announcing their arrival. The shop was filled with the scent of roses, mingling with the soft rustle of fabric as customers browsed the shelves. A shopgirl came over to speak with Kendrick, and Lavender led Teresa and Rafael toward the back, where colorful clothes and toys were displayed.

Miranda trailed behind them, scanning the shop warily as if expecting trouble to arise at any moment. Lavender could sense the tension in her, the conflict between her desire to protect her siblings and her reluctance to accept help from others.

After having satisfied the shopgirl that despite the children’s threadbare appearance, he had the funds to be shopping here, Kendrick moved closer to Miranda, his presence a silent reassurance beside her. “You don’t have to feel obligated to get anything for yourself, Miranda. But surely you want Teresa and Rafael to have some nice things.”

Miranda’s gaze softened slightly as she glanced at Kendrick, a flicker of gratitude in her eyes. “Thank you,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “They haven’t had anything new in ages.” She obviously hadn’t either, but she seemed only to think of her siblings.

Lavender knelt next to Teresa and Rafael, who were already chattering excitedly about the toys and clothes they liked. She picked up a soft blue dress with delicate lace trim, holding it out for Teresa to see. “How about this one, Teresa? Do you like it?”

Teresa’s eyes widened with delight as she reached out to touch the dress, her face breaking into a wide smile. “It is so...” Her face scrunched up as she obviously tried to find the English words. “So pretty, Lavender! May I try it on?”

Lavender returned her smile warmly. “Of course, let’s see if it fits.” She glanced up at Miranda, who was watching them, her expression softening at Teresa’s excitement. “Miranda, would you mind helping me look for something for Rafael? We can divide and conquer.”

Miranda hesitated for a moment before nodding. “I will,” she agreed softly, stepping closer to Lavender to join the search.

As they sifted through the racks of children’s clothing, Lavender could feel Miranda’s guarded demeanor slowly melting. With each small interaction—a shared smile over a cute pair of trousers, a quiet discussion about color preferences— Lavender could see Miranda opening up, allowing herself to help choose clothes for her siblings.

Meanwhile, Kendrick stood back, observing the scene, looking decidedly uncomfortable. She knew he was feeling overwhelmed by all of this, and he obviously had no idea what the children needed. Neither did she, really. But she did her best to help each of the children get a half dozen or so outfits, the necessary underwear, and several toys for the younger children. It wasn’t easy to figure out what Miranda liked, but eventually, even she settled on some things for herself, including a few books, which were the only things that had tempted her enough that she’d actually shown some interest in them. Kendrick had noticed and softly asked if she’d like them, and she’d shyly nodded.

Kendrick seemed to have no problem paying what Lavender considered a rather outrageous bill, and she wondered how deep his pockets ran.

Finally, they all headed back to the hotel, where they ordered dinner to be brought up. The younger children were worn out from excitement but still managed to find the energy to play with their new toys for a while before falling into an exhausted sleep. Miranda stayed up reading for a while. Lavender was pleased to discover that she was a reader. Perhaps she could take her to the bookshop back home.

Unfortunately, she once again had no chance to speak to Kendrick. The distance that seemed to be growing between them terrified her. She was so happy that he’d gotten Miranda back, but she’d never thought Miranda would take such an instant dislike to her and had no idea what to do about it.

As she drifted off to sleep, Teresa’s warm little body once again snuggled up tight against her, she prayed there would still be a place for her in this small family once they arrived home tomorrow.

T he final leg of the journey went smoothly. They boarded the train to Calais early in the morning and were on the ferry back toward England by noon. The children were all wearing their new clothing, and Lavender thought they all seemed to be carrying themselves differently. She hoped they would finally understand that they didn’t need to worry about the future anymore.

When they reached Dover, they hired a comfortable carriage, though it wasn’t nearly as nice as the duchess’s had been. The children sat on the forward-facing seat, and Lavender and Kendrick shared the rear-facing one. She could feel his heat along her side and wanted nothing more than to lean her head on his broad shoulder. Instead, she sat stiffly beside him, very aware of Miranda’s disapproving gaze.

As the carriage made its way toward Seacrest, Lavender couldn’t shake off the unease within her. The comfortable silence that used to exist between her and Kendrick now felt heavy with unspoken words and unresolved tension. She stole glances at him whenever she could, noticing the furrow in his brow and the distant look in his eyes as they grew closer to their destination.

Miranda’s presence had created a rift between them that seemed insurmountable. Lavender couldn’t help but worry about what it meant for their growing friendship, for the fragile, beautiful love affair they’d begun. Would this newfound distance push them apart, erasing all the progress they’d made during the first half of the journey?

She couldn’t help but once again compare herself to Lydia. The last thing she wanted was to become the wicked stepmother who had stolen Miranda’s father away. But I’m nothing like Lydia! She wanted nothing more than to shower the girl with love and affection. But Miranda didn’t know that. How could she? She had every reason to be suspicious and to want all her father’s love for herself.

Miranda seemed lost in her thoughts as well, gazing out of the carriage window with a contemplative expression. She clutched one of the books Kendrick had purchased for her yesterday as though it were a lifeline. Lavender couldn’t imagine how frightened she must be. Even if the orphanage hadn’t been the best place, it had at least been familiar. Now, she was in an entirely new country, on her way to a home she’d never seen with a father she probably hardly remembered.

The carriage rolled on, the sound of hooves against the gravel road a steady rhythm in the background. Lavender glanced out the window, watching the countryside pass by in a blur of green fields and blue skies. The landscape was so familiar it was hard to believe she’d seen Paris and Barcelona. She had the strange feeling that it had all been a fever dream, and she’d awake in her own bed and find out that none of it had actually happened.

Perhaps that would be preferable to facing the reality that she’d experienced the best few days of her life, but now it was over.

Suddenly, Kendrick cleared his throat, breaking the heavy silence that enveloped them. His voice was gruff but tinged with a hint of vulnerability. “Lavender, may I have a word with you?” His voice was little more than a murmur—he obviously didn’t want any of the children to hear whatever he had to say.

Lavender’s heart skipped a beat at his request. She turned toward him, her eyes searching his face for any sign of what he wanted to discuss. “Of course, Kendrick,” she replied softly, filled with both apprehension and hope.

With a nod, Kendrick shifted on the seat to face her fully. The carriage rattled slightly over a bump in the road, and she was thrown against him. He steadied her, his hands lingering slightly on her shoulder before quickly dropping away. “I am so grateful for all you’ve done during this trip. I couldn’t have done any of it without you.”

She smiled faintly. “It has been my pleasure, truly.”

He held her gaze, and she sensed he was trying to convey something without words, but she didn’t know what. He cleared his throat and looked away. “But I think it’s best if I drop you off at Willoughby Hall. The children and I need some time to settle in, and you’ve already done so much.”

He hadn’t spoken softly enough because, on the other side of the coach, Miranda leaned forward, a look of surprise and happiness on her face. She obviously approved of Kendrick’s decision, and Lavender realized that was what this was all about.

Lavender’s heart sank at Kendrick’s words, the weight of his decision settling heavily on her. She tried to mask the disappointment that threatened to consume her, offering him a small, understanding smile. “Of course,” she agreed, her throat thick with unshed tears. “It will be good to be home.”

Deep down, she knew she had no right to demand more of his time or attention. After all, Miranda and the children were his priority now. Besides, they weren’t married, and it wouldn’t have been proper for her to stay at his home, even if she was only there to help with the children.

As the carriage continued its journey, Lavender stole glances at Miranda, who was now engrossed in her book. The fact that the girl could find solace in the world of words warmed Lavender’s heart despite her own heartache. Perhaps books would be a refuge for Miranda in this new phase of her life as they had once been in her own after her mother died.

The closer they got to Willoughby Hall, the more Lavender felt the tendrils of loneliness wrapping around her. She would miss the children’s laughter, the shared moments of tenderness with Kendrick, and even Miranda’s quiet presence. But she also understood that her place was not with them anymore. Kendrick had made that abundantly clear.

When the carriage finally pulled up in front of Willoughby Hall, she smiled tremulously at Teresa and Rafael. “I’ll miss you, children. You be good for your new papa.”

They nodded solemnly. “We will miss you too.” Rafael’s dark eyes held the calm acceptance of someone who’d been left too often in his life.

“Goodbye, Lavender,” whispered Teresa, her lower lip trembling.

Kendrick swallowed as the footman opened the carriage door. “I’ll be in touch soon,” he said quickly. “Can you have someone send over Daisy?”

“Yes, of course,” she replied.

As a footman came out of the those to help her down, her friends rushed out to welcome her home. She accepted their hugs and sidestepped their questions as the footman unloaded her portmanteau. Then she was ushered back into the house, and the carriage drove away as though the most romantic, wonderful week of her life had never happened.