Page 18 of The Wayward Lady (The Wayward Widows of Willoughby Hall #1)

L avender waited all afternoon for Kendrick to return with Miranda, but as the evening shadows lengthened, she grew increasingly worried. It reminded her of the night Geoffrey had died, this feeling that something had gone horribly wrong, and her helplessness to figure out what. She tried reading in the inn's sunny courtyard, then pulled out her sketchbook and sketched some of the things she had seen when they’d walked through the city last night in an attempt to commit them to memory. At last, she decided to go and get herself something to eat.

When Lavender returned to the inn after dinner, the sinking feeling in her chest had only deepened. Her steps were heavy as she climbed the stairs to their suite, the worry gnawing at her insides.

Pushing open the door, Lavender’s heart sank. The room was empty, devoid of Kendrick or any sign of Miranda’s return. Panic gripped her, threatening to choke off her breath as she scanned the room for any clue, any indication of what might be taking so long.

Her mind raced with possibilities, each one more terrifying than the last. Had something gone wrong at the orphanage? Had Miranda refused to leave with Kendrick? Had she not been there at all? Was Kendrick in trouble? Should she go and look for him?

Just as her anxiety had built to a fever pitch, the door opened, and Kendrick strode in with not one but three children! She stared at him momentarily, reading the stress on his face, then rushed over to hug him. “I was so worried,” she told him. “What happened?”

He cleared his throat and pulled away. “Miranda has a brother and a sister.” He gestured to the other children. “Teresa and Rafael. She couldn’t leave without them, so... I adopted them. That’s what took so long.”

Shock burned through her for a moment, but then she turned a bright smile on the children. “Of course, she couldn’t!”

The older girl, who must be Miranda, hung back near the door, giving Lavender a suspicious look, though the younger children gave her tentative smiles.

Miranda had a hint of Kendrick around her eyes, but it was easy to see that her mother had been a great beauty. Her features were delicate, her dark hair cascading in waves down her back, her gaze guarded and uncertain. Lavender could sense the girl’s wariness, the weight of years spent in an orphanage, away from any semblance of family. The girl had probably done all she could to keep her small family together, but it couldn’t have been easy. Her heart ached for Miranda and the two younger children, who stared at her with curiosity and trepidation.

Kendrick stood beside her, his shoulder brushing hers as if seeking comfort in her presence. She felt a surge of warmth at the contact, a silent reassurance passing between them in this exceedingly difficult moment.

“Lavender,” Kendrick told her under his breath, looking completely overwhelmed, “I hope you don’t mind that I’ve brought them here. It was... unexpected. I didn’t know what to do.”

She turned to him, seeing the turmoil in his eyes and the weight of this sudden responsibility pressing down on him. He seemed lost, uncertain, and... angry.

“It’s fine,” she murmured, wondering why he was worried about her feelings. He was the one who would now be the father to three children, two of which were not even his. How hard it must have been for him to realize that Isabella had given birth to more children while she was still technically his wife. “How are you?”

He gave her a shell-shocked look and shook his head.

Lavender knelt to be at eye level with the younger girl and boy. “ Hola , Teresa, Rafael,” she said warmly, wanting to put them at ease. “I’m Lavender. It’s lovely to meet you both.”

Teresa’s eyes widened in surprise, but Rafael stepped forward, his curiosity getting the best of him. “? Hablas espanol? ” he asked tentatively.

Lavender smiled. “ Un poquito ,” she replied softly, holding up her forefinger and thumb, causing the children to exchange glances before breaking into small smiles.

“We speak a little English,” Rafael said. “Our Mama taught us.”

“Who is this woman?” Miranda suddenly asked Kendrick, her voice shrill. “Is she why you left my mother? You left us so you could be with her ?”

Dismay swept through Lavender at the obvious anger in the girl’s voice.

“What?” Kendrick gazed down at his daughter with sad eyes. “No! I didn’t leave your mother. She left me. She took you, and she left.” He glanced helplessly at Lavender. “Lavender is just a friend. She lives next door. She just came with me to help me take care of you on the journey home.”

Lavender felt a surge of sadness at his easy dismissal of their relationship. Just a friend? Was that really all she was to him? She had thought she was so much more. Still, she knew he had to tread carefully where the girl was concerned, especially given the anger she’d just displayed. Lavender wondered if that had been her mother’s excuse for leaving Kendrick. Had she told her daughter that he had been unfaithful? No wonder she was looking at Lavender with such suspicion.

As the tension hung heavily in the room, Lavender glanced back at Kendrick, seeing the conflict in his eyes. She could sense the struggle within him, torn between his past with Miranda’s mother and his growing feelings for Lavender. She wasn’t certain how to help him, but at the very least, she didn’t want to make matters worse.

“I’m here to help,” Lavender interjected gently, meeting Miranda’s gaze with a reassuring smile. “I have only known your father for a few months, so I can assure you I wasn’t the reason your mother left him. I came with him because he thought you might want a woman with you on the trip while you and he get to know each other again.”

Miranda looked away as she considered Lavender’s words. Rafael and Teresa, meanwhile, seemed to be taking in their new surroundings with wide-eyed wonder, their fear gradually giving way to curiosity as they drifted around the suite of rooms. Teresa probably didn’t even remember her mother since she couldn’t have been much more than a baby when Isabella died.

Kendrick nodded gratefully at Lavender, silently acknowledging her support in this delicate moment. He turned back to Miranda, his expression earnest. “I know this is all a lot to take in. If you have any questions, please let me try to answer them.”

She frowned and shook her head, finally venturing farther into the room. The suite was extravagantly furnished, and Lavender wondered what her living conditions had been like previously. Not very good, she imagined, either with her mother or at the orphanage. She was probably reeling at her change in circumstances, but she was also rightfully terrified and conflicted about whether to believe her mother’s version of events or her father’s.

“I thought Rafael and I could share my room tonight,” Kendrick said softly to Lavender when Miranda remained silent. “Perhaps you can share yours with the girls?”

He looked so overwhelmed. She wanted nothing more than to hug him and tell him that it would be all right, that he had done the right thing, but Miranda was still watching them out of the corner of her eye, and she didn’t want to give the girl any more reason to be suspicious of her. She was obviously struggling with some jealousy now that she had actually gotten her father back.

Lavender could relate to that. She remembered how suspicious and angry she’d been when her father had first brought home her stepmother. Of course, Lydia had been perfectly awful, so she’d been right to fear her. She couldn’t stand the woman to this day.

What a sobering thought. Was it possible that Miranda would never like her, no matter how hard she tried to win her over?

“That sounds perfect,” Lavender assured him. She looked at the one beat-up bag he’d set down by the door. “Is that their bag?” Her heart broke at the thought that that was all they owned between the three of them.

He nodded, remaining carefully neutral. “Yes. I thought perhaps we might spend a day in Paris on our way back and do some shopping. If that’s all right with you? Unless you’re in a rush to get home.”

“I would love to help you shop for them,” she said quickly. “I’m in no rush at all.”

“I don’t even know what to get,” he muttered beneath his breath for her ears alone. “I don’t know what they need.”

“It’s all right,” she said softly. “I don’t either, but we’ll figure it out.”

Kendrick gave her a grateful smile before turning to the children. “Teresa, Rafael,” he called, his voice gentle. “Would you like to pick out some new things for yourselves once we reach Paris?”

Their eyes lit up at the mention of shopping, a glimmer of excitement replacing the uncertainty clouding their expressions. Teresa nodded eagerly, her freckled face breaking into a shy smile, while Rafael bounced on his heels, unable to contain his enthusiasm. Lavender wondered if they’d ever had anything new in their entire lives.

Miranda remained silent, her arms crossed defensively over her chest as she observed the interaction. Lavender understood the girl’s wariness, the deep-seated fear and mistrust ingrained in her from years of instability and disappointment. Earning Miranda’s trust would not be easy, but she was determined to show her they were here to help, not harm.

For the next hour or so, Lavender helped the children settle into their new surroundings. She went down to the lobby and arranged for some sandwiches to be brought up after realizing the children and Kendrick hadn’t yet had any dinner. Then she supervised them with washing up and changing into their threadbare nightclothes.

Rafael and Teresa, though initially reserved, warmed up to her quickly, their curiosity piqued when she showered them with laughter and kindness. Lavender felt a sense of fulfillment as she told Teresa and Rafael a bedtime story in a mix of Spanish and English that left them all giggling before tucking them into their respective beds.

Meanwhile, Miranda remained distant, her walls still firmly in place. Lavender understood the girl’s wariness, empathizing with the fear of trusting strangers after a lifetime of uncertainty. She’d been very much like this after her mother’s death. Her father hadn’t been able to look at her because she reminded him so much of the woman he’d loved, and she’d been abandoned with the servants until he’d brought home Lydia. She made it a point to give Miranda space while silently promising to show her through actions rather than words that she could be trusted.

Kendrick hesitated at the door of Lavender’s room. His gaze met hers, and she wondered if he was thinking about the night of passion they’d enjoyed just last night. Would they ever be together like that again? Suddenly, the obstacles seemed insurmountable.

“Goodnight, girls,” he said softly, his gaze shifting to Miranda. “I hope you all sleep well.”

“Goodnight, Kendrick,” Lavender told him, a lump in her throat. She’d like nothing more than to go to him and hold him tight, assure him everything would be all right, and that she understood that he’d had no choice but to take all three children. As far as she was concerned, this was a wonderful development. But even now, she could feel Miranda’s angry gaze. She had refused to get into the bed, choosing instead to take a blanket and a pillow to the padded window seat.

Neither of the girls replied to Kendrick, though she knew Teresa was just following her sister’s lead. She could see the hurt in his dark eyes before he turned away, shutting the door behind him.

With a deep sigh, Lavender went behind the screen in the corner and changed into her own night clothes, then crawled into the big, soft bed beside Teresa. To her surprise, Teresa snuggled up close, staring at her with her big green eyes. “ Gracias, ” she said sleepily, placing her little hand gently on Lavender’s hair, seeming to like the color and texture. “So... bonita. ”

Tears stung Lavender’s eyes as she wrapped her arm around the little girl and held her close. This was all she’d ever wanted, to have a child of her own to love. And even though Teresa was not hers, the thought that she might be able to be part of her life warmed her heart. Deciding to just enjoy the moment while it lasted, she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

T he next morning was a whirlwind of activity as they prepared to board the train to Paris. Kendrick found himself juggling between helping the children pack their few belongings, soothing Rafael’s nerves about the journey, and trying to engage Miranda in conversation.

Unfortunately, Miranda remained aloof, her guarded demeanor a stark contrast to Teresa and Rafael’s growing warmth and excitement. Kendrick couldn’t blame her for her wariness; after all, she had been through so much upheaval and uncertainty in her young life. But he was determined to break through Miranda’s defenses, to show her that he was here to offer stability and care. Now that he’d found her again, he had no intention of ever leaving her alone again.

However, Kendrick felt weighed down by the responsibility of caring for these children. Even his daughter was a stranger to him. He wanted to talk about it all with Lavender but was beginning to believe he’d never have any time alone with her again. Every time he turned around, one of the children was right beside him, needing his attention. He knew this was what it was supposed to be like but couldn’t help wishing he’d been able to ease his way into this instead of being thrust in headfirst.

The train ride to Paris was a mix of excitement and apprehension. He’d once again gotten them a private compartment, but what had been such a lovely oasis when it was just him and Lavender seemed full to bursting with the addition of the children. Kendrick shared the bench on one side of the car with Rafael while Lavender and the girls sat across from them.

Lavender and Miranda seemed lost in their thoughts, staring out the window and saying very little during the first few hours of the trip.

Kendrick found himself more than occupied by Rafael and Teresa. They were full of questions, and he pointed out the passing scenery and shared snippets of stories to keep them entertained.

Their English was better than he’d expected, though they stumbled over some words. When pressed, Miranda admitted that Isabella had generally spoken English at home, but they’d been at the orphanage for over two years, a big portion of Teresa’s life. Miranda said she still talked to them in English when she didn’t want anyone around them to understand what she was saying, so they managed to keep some of the skills alive. He was relieved that they didn’t have a language barrier to deal with on top of everything else.

The rhythm of the train clacking against the tracks provided a soothing backdrop to the journey, eventually lulling Rafael and Teresa to sleep. Rafael was sprawled across the bench beside him, and Lavender had made a little bed for Teresa on the floor.

After a few hours, Kendrick felt like he was crawling out of his skin. “Can you keep an eye on the children for a few minutes?” he asked Lavender. “I’m going to go down to the dining car and arrange for some food for all of us.”

“Of course,” she said softly, and he wondered if she realized how much panic was welling up inside him. Did she think poorly of him for how badly he was handling all of this? He hoped not, for he could not bear to disappoint her too.

Kendrick made his way through the narrow aisles of the train, the rhythmic motion of the carriage swaying gently as he walked. He tried to push away the gnawing anxiety that had settled in his chest since they had left Barcelona. Unfortunately, the weight of his newfound responsibilities felt heavier with each passing mile. He’d counted on one nearly grown child, not three, the youngest of which was only four.

Entering the dining car, Kendrick found a moment of respite in the bustling activity around him. The clinking of glasses, the murmur of conversations, and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloped him, offering a temporary distraction from his worries.

He approached the counter, where a middle-aged steward stood with a friendly smile. “Good morning, sir. How can I assist you today?”

Kendrick cleared his throat, his usual confidence faltering in the unfamiliar surroundings. “I need to order food for my family.” He stumbled over the word, then cleared his throat. “Various pastries, fruits, and some sandwiches would be appreciated.”

The steward nodded understandingly and began assembling a selection of items while Kendrick waited, his mind drifting back to the compartment where Lavender and the children were. He couldn’t shake off the feeling of being an imposter in this caretaker role, especially in Miranda’s eyes.

The train lurched suddenly, causing Kendrick to reach out and steady himself against the counter. His heart raced as he thought of the children in the private car, hoping they were safe and unharmed by the jarring movement.

As the steward handed him a tray laden with food, Kendrick thanked him and quickly made his way back to their compartment. Upon his return, he found Lavender sitting by the window, gently comforting Teresa, who had woken up from her nap and was feeling disoriented.

“Is everything alright?” Lavender asked as she noticed the concern etched on Kendrick’s face.

Kendrick nodded, setting the tray down on the small table. “Just a minor bump in our journey. I brought some food for everyone.”

The aroma of fresh pastries and fruit filled the compartment, drawing Rafael out of his slumber as well. Soon, all five of them were gathered around the table, sharing a simple meal in the cozy confines of the train.

Lavender’s laughter filled the air, a sound so warm and genuine that it momentarily eased Kendrick’s anxieties. He watched her with admiration and longing, struck by how effortlessly she had connected with the smaller children in a way he struggled to emulate. They needed her, he realized. They desperately needed a mother, and he remembered the longing in Lavender’s voice when she’d told him about her difficulty conceiving. Perhaps she needed them as well.

If only Miranda hadn’t taken such an instant dislike to her.

Rafael and Teresa chattered away, their voices blending with Lavender’s melodic tone as she told them all about Seacrest and England in general, which was all very foreign to them. But they seemed so excited to see it. He imagined them there momentarily, chasing Daisy through the garden, and it suddenly seemed very right and real.

Miranda sat apart from the group, her expression guarded. He wondered how many times Isabella had disappointed her. He couldn’t imagine what her life had been like, moving from place to place as Isabella jumped from one man to the next. And through it all, she’d believed that her own father didn’t want her, that he’d left them for another woman, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. How could he ever overcome so much trauma and sadness?

Leaving the younger children to their conversation with Lavender, he crossed the space to sit beside his daughter.

“How are you doing?” he asked softly.

Miranda’s eyes flicked up to meet Kendrick’s, and for a moment, he saw the wariness and hurt reflected in those deep brown depths. She didn’t answer immediately, her silence stretching between them like an unspoken barrier.

Finally, she spoke, her voice edged with restraint. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Kendrick could sense the walls Miranda had built around her, the layers of protection forged through years of abandonment and disappointment. He understood it very well since he’d done the same thing when he’d lost her and Isabella. He longed to break through those defenses, to show her the care and love she had been denied for so long.

“I know this journey must be overwhelming for you,” Kendrick began, his voice gentle yet tinged with regret. “I want you to know that I am here for you now, Miranda. I may not have been there before, but I am committed to being the father you deserve.”

Miranda’s expression softened slightly, a glimmer of vulnerability shining through her guarded facade. She looked away, her gaze drifting toward Lavender. “I wish she wasn’t here. Why does she have to be here? She doesn’t belong with us. She’s not part of our family.”

“Why do you dislike her so?” he asked softly. “She’s been nothing but good to you all. I don’t understand.”

The girl flushed. “I just don’t know why you had to bring her.”

Was that jealousy that flashed in her dark eyes? Was she worried that he might love Lavender more than he loved her?

Dear god. Was she going to insist that he choose between them?

Kendrick’s heart ached at Miranda's words, the raw honesty cutting through the tension in the air. He reached out tentatively, placing a hand on Miranda’s shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “Miranda, Lavender is here to help me. She’s a very good friend to me, and I know she already cares deeply for all three of you.”

Miranda shrugged his hand off, her eyes flashing with defiance. “I don’t need her help. I’ve taken care of Rafael and Teresa all this time.”

Kendrick felt a pang of guilt at Miranda’s words, realizing how much burden she had carried on her young shoulders. “I know you’ve been strong for your siblings, Miranda, but you shouldn’t have to bear that weight alone. Let us take care of you, too.”

Silence settled between them, heavy with unspoken emotions and past wounds that refused to heal. Kendrick didn’t know how to bridge this chasm between them. He didn’t know his own daughter well enough to know what to say to calm her fears. He was the cause of most of them, after all.

Just then, Lavender approached them, looking between them with concern. He wondered how much of his conversation with Miranda she’d overheard. He hoped she hadn’t heard any of it. “Is everything all right?”

Miranda turned and looked out the window, refusing to answer.

“We’re fine,” he answered tightly.

Lavender squeezed his shoulder, and he drew a surprising amount of comfort from the small gesture of comfort. She always seemed to know exactly how to soothe him.

“I’m going to get the children ready for bed,” she said softly.

“Thank you,” he replied.

She nodded, her eyes full of sympathy. Her gaze flickered to Miranda, but she didn’t say anymore.

He sighed and looked back over at his daughter. “You’re old enough to decide when you’re ready to go to sleep, but we have a big day once we arrive in Paris, so keep that in mind.”

She nodded but still didn’t look at him. He supposed he had to give her some space. He just hoped that, eventually, she’d grow to trust him and know that she had nothing to fear from Lavender.

Because if she didn’t... He couldn’t even put the rest of that thought into words.