Page 15 of The Wayward Lady (The Wayward Widows of Willoughby Hall #1)

L avender awoke slowly, feeling luxuriously warm and comfortable. She hadn’t slept that well since Geoffrey had died. It made all the difference in the world to have someone in the bed beside her.

The early morning light filtered through the curtains, painting the room in a soft glow. The events of the previous evening flooded back to her in a rush of emotions and sensations, leaving her breathless with the weight of what had happened between them during the night.

Turning her head slightly, Lavender saw Kendrick still asleep beside her, his features relaxed in repose. His dark hair was tousled from sleep, and the hint of a smile played on his lips as if he were dreaming of something pleasant.

She hoped he was dreaming about her.

With a soft grin tugging at the corners of her own lips, Lavender reached out to gently brush a lock of dark hair away from Kendrick’s forehead, marveling at the tenderness and vulnerability she felt for him. The man who had once been so guarded and closed off was now revealed to her in all his complexity and depth.

He stirred beside her, his dark eyes flickered open, and his smile grew wider.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said huskily, lifting his hand to brush a lock of hair tenderly from her face. “Sleep well?”

“Perhaps better than I ever have,” she murmured, cuddling up to him even closer.

Kendrick’s eyes held a warmth and tenderness that made Lavender’s heart flutter with joy and uncertainty. She wanted to tell him everything she was feeling—that she feared that she had fallen helplessly and irrevocably in love with him—but it all seemed so fragile, so ephemeral. She’d told him that she had no expectations of him, but that really wasn’t true. She was terrified of all the expectations she had of him. How could any man live up to such hopes and dreams?

“I wish we never had to get out of this bed,” Lavender whispered as she gazed into Kendrick’s eyes, searching for reassurance and answers.

Kendrick’s expression softened even more, his gaze holding a world of unspoken emotions. “So do I,” he replied, his voice laced with a vulnerability that took Lavender by surprise. “But our train is leaving in about two hours, and we really need to be on it.”

She sighed and stretched, a bit self-conscious to realize that she was still naked. She’d never slept naked in her entire life. But it felt wonderfully decadent to have done so. It had felt glorious to be pressed against him, bare skin to bare skin. If he were truly hers, she would want to be naked in bed with him every night.

If only he were truly mine...

He rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom, and she got a wonderful glimpse of his taut backside. She still couldn’t believe how much he’d seemed to appreciate hers. She’d always thought it was too large and soft, but the way he’d practically worshipped her bottom made something deep inside her clench.

She wanted to be on her hands and knees before him again before they even started their day.

Blushing, Lavender quickly pulled the covers up to her chin, feeling a mix of embarrassment, admiration for Kendrick’s physique, and confusion over her own desires.

Until he’d asked her what she wanted last night, she hadn’t even known it was all right for her to feel these things. She still couldn’t believe that he’d put his mouth against her... there. But it hadn’t seemed at all dirty. It had been... glorious.

With a contented sigh, Lavender swung her legs over the side of the bed and stretched, relishing the sensation of her body waking up after a night of deep rest. She was slightly sore in all sorts of places but didn’t mind because the memory of how she’d gotten that way made her smile.

As she performed her morning ablutions and donned a traveling gown of a deep, dusky rose, her mind raced.

What did last night mean for them? What had it meant for him? Every word he’d said, every soft touch, had seemed to indicate that perhaps he wouldn’t be averse to becoming... what? Her husband?

Once the thought had taken root in her mind, she found it almost impossible to banish.

What would it be like to wake up with him every morning?

When Kendrick emerged from the bathroom, freshly dressed in a tweed traveling suit of dark blue and looking as ruggedly handsome as ever, Lavender couldn’t help but steal glances at him as they prepared for the day ahead. The easy camaraderie between them felt both exhilarating and nerve-wracking, as if they were standing on the precipice of something unknown yet undeniably thrilling.

As they packed up their belongings and made their way to catch the morning train, the ease between them remained. She felt as though they’d been together for years, and she realized she’d never felt this way with Geoffrey. There had always been a stiffness in their interactions. She’d always tried so hard to please him, and he’d always seemed so distracted, faintly irritated by her very presence beside him. She didn’t have to try and please Kendrick. He seemed to like her just as she was, and that was a wonderful feeling.

They again hired a porter to take their baggage to the train, then stopped for breakfast at a charming sidewalk cafe.

The quaint cafe bustled with the energy of the early morning crowd, the aroma of freshly baked pastries and rich coffee filling the air. Lavender and Kendrick sat at a small wrought-iron table, the sun casting a warm glow over their surroundings as they sipped their steaming cups of coffee. The bitter brew was much stronger than the tea she was accustomed to, but it seemed appropriate for the occasion. She felt incredibly worldly as she sipped coffee with her lover in a Parisian café.

My lover.

Lavender gazed at Kendrick as he perused the menu, a small smile playing on his lips as he considered his options. He seemed happy this morning, too. Happier than she had ever seen him.

As they placed their orders with the waiter, Lavender’s gaze lingered on Kendrick’s profile, taking in the rugged contours of his face and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. A surge of affection welled inside her, a deep-rooted sense of connection that grew stronger with each passing moment.

Kendrick’s hand found hers on the table, his touch sending a thrill of warmth through her. Their fingers intertwined naturally as if they had done this a hundred times before. Lavender looked up to meet his gaze, seeing a mixture of tenderness and something more profound flicker in his eyes.

“These last twenty-four hours have been some of the best I’ve ever spent,” he told her. “Thank you again for coming with me.”

“I feel the same,” she assured him. “And thank you again for asking me.”

He glanced down at his plate. “Once we arrive in Barcelona and hopefully are able to find Miranda, we won’t be able to be... physical with each other on the trip home.”

Why did he feel the need to tell her that? She was fully aware that they wouldn’t be able to engage in wild lovemaking in close proximity to his young daughter. She gave him a tight smile. “I know,” she said, stung, but trying not to read too much into his words. Was he already trying to put some distance between them? Had he not enjoyed last night as much as she had?

All the morning’s happiness and optimism seemed suddenly foolish. Why was she like this? Why did she always care too much?

Despite her attempts to remain stoic, something in her face must have given her away because when she tried to pull her hand away, he held on to it, squeezing tightly. “I didn’t say that right,” he told her, sounding frustrated with himself. “What I was getting at was that we have a whole day before that happens, and I don’t want to waste a single minute of it.”

The tight knot of anxiety melted, and she offered him a real smile this time. “I would like that too.”

He squeezed her hand once more, then let go, and they once again chatted comfortably for the rest of their meal. But a seed of doubt had sprouted within her, and she couldn’t completely banish it.

What would happen between them once they found his daughter? She realized that she would no longer be his entire focus. She didn’t mind that. But would he be able to give her any of his attention at all?

When they’d finished eating, they strolled to the train station. Lavender wished they could have spent a little more time here, but of course, that was not the purpose of this trip. She’d managed to get swept away by their lovemaking, but their conversation a while ago had reminded her that none of this was about her.

The train station loomed ahead, a bustling hive of activity with travelers rushing to catch their respective trains. Lavender and Kendrick navigated through the crowd, their fingers intertwined like a lifeline that tethered them together amidst the chaos.

As they approached their platform, Lavender’s heart fluttered with excitement and trepidation at the thought that they would soon be in yet an entirely different country. She wondered what Spain would be like, and her sadness at leaving Paris turned into excitement about seeing Barcelona.

After they had procured their tickets and boarded the train, the conductor showed them to their private sleeping compartment.

The small space was cozy yet luxurious, with plush benches that converted into beds, a small table set with fresh flowers, and a large window that offered a sweeping view of the passing countryside. Lavender couldn’t help but marvel at the opulence of their accommodations.

Kendrick settled himself across from her, their knees brushing lightly when the train lurched into motion about ten minutes later. The rhythmic sound of the wheels on the tracks filled the compartment, creating a soothing backdrop to their shared silence.

For a while, she just watched as the city passed outside the window, but as the cityscape gave way to the countryside, she sighed and sank back in her chair. Her jacket was pinching her, and her blouse was itchy. “I wish I was wearing my trousers,” she said with a laugh. “Women’s clothing is so ridiculous.”

He smiled and gestured at the door. “You can get as comfortable as you want. We can always lock the door.”

The possibility of more lovemaking or being more comfortable during their long journey, which wouldn’t end until around this time tomorrow, was so tempting. “I’ve never felt as comfortable around anyone as I do you,” she told him. “I believe that if I were to strip down to my chemise right now and sit here across from you, you wouldn’t bat an eye.”

He gave her a wolfish grin. “I’d like nothing more, sunshine.”

She loved that he’d started calling her that, but was it just a silly endearment or something more?

Holding his gaze, her heart pounding in her chest, she stood and slowly unbuttoned her travel cloak. She placed it on the seat behind her, then discarded her jacket, blouse, and skirt as well, her eyes never leaving Kendrick’s. A shiver ran through her as she saw the hunger and desire reflected in his eyes. Knowing that she could have such an impact on him was a heady feeling.

She still couldn’t believe he actually desired her, that he found her round, soft body pleasing. But she no longer had any doubts that he did.

“Come sit beside me,” he whispered.

She walked toward him slowly, enjoying having his gaze on her in a way she’d never imagined she could. She had been raised to believe that sex was shameful, that a woman shouldn’t enjoy it. But even with Geoffrey, she had, and she’d started to think something was wrong with her, that she was wicked. But what had taken place between her and Kendrick last night had been beautiful. She refused to believe that there was anything wrong in giving and receiving pleasure with someone you cared about.

Gathering all her courage, she straddled him instead of sitting beside him, the soft cotton of her chemise brushing against his trousers as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, their faces just inches apart.

He cupped her face gently in his hands, his fingers tracing the contours of her cheekbones before brushing back a stray lock of hair from her eyes. “I think this is going to be a very interesting trip,” he breathed. “Thank God I decided to get the sleeper compartment.”

She laughed softly, pressing her lips to his. Last night had been an explosion of passion, and there had been an urgency that neither could deny. But today, they had all the time in the world, and the kiss demonstrated that. He did nothing but kiss her for an achingly long time, and she drowned in the taste and feel of him, in having someone to care for once again.

The doubts she’d had earlier this morning faded away at his tenderness, the way he treated her as though she was made of glass and he didn’t want to break her. But eventually, the kisses grew more feverish, and she could feel his hardness pressing against her through his trousers.

He gathered the hem of her chemise and lifted it over her head, then cupped her breast with one hand and slid a finger inside her with the other. The rhythm of the train intensified the experience, and she gasped into his mouth, moving against his hand in an effort to get more friction. How strange that until last night, she’d never even known how good lovemaking could feel, and now she was straining against him, desperate to know that bliss again.

“I know what you need,” he breathed, removing his hand and fumbling with his trousers.

She made a little mewl of disappointment, feeling incredibly empty, but within moments, he grabbed her hips and lifted her slightly, then pushed his hard length into her, making her cry out with pleasure. “Yes,” she moaned. “Oh, Kendrick, you feel so good.”

He lowered his mouth to her breast, lightly scoring her nipple with his teeth as he showed her how to ride him. She couldn’t believe there was yet another way to do this, but she heartily approved. That spot that gave her so much pleasure rubbed against his pubic bone with each thrust, and it felt incredibly good.

His hands held her hips so tightly, and the light pain of his teeth on her breast seemed to fuel the desire rising within her. She wanted it to continue forever, but that pressure was growing within her, and she knew she wouldn’t last much longer.

Then, the tension burst in an explosion of pleasure even greater than last night. Perhaps because this time she’d been expecting it. She let out a low, keening cry, and he moaned her name and found his release as well, his big body shuddering as he came within her.

She hugged him tightly as the train rocked beneath them, burying her face in the crook of his neck as her breathing slowly returned to normal. She didn’t think she’d ever felt so relaxed in her life.

After a long while, he stood, still holding her in his arms, and managed to make the bench into a narrow bed. He laid her upon it, then stretched out beside her, covering them both with a blanket. “Sleep,” he whispered. “Just let me hold you.”

Warm in his embrace, she slipped off to sleep, dreaming once again that one day, they could be together like this all the time.

L ater that evening, they were still cuddled as comfortably as possible in the narrow bed, gloriously naked. Kendrick lazily stroked Lavender’s shoulder as they stared out the window at the passing scenery. A rare moment of peaceful serenity settled over him, and he brushed a light kiss upon her brow.

“Are you getting hungry?” he asked. “I could have some dinner brought to us.”

Lavender shook her head, snuggling closer to him. “Not yet,” she murmured, her voice thick with contentment. “I’m still savoring the memory of your touch.”

Kendrick smiled, feeling a swell of pride and affection for the woman in his arms. He knew he didn’t deserve her but was determined to prove himself worthy.

As the train continued its journey through the night, the scenery outside their window morphed from rolling hills to rugged mountains blanketed in a soft layer of snow, even though it was nearly summer. The romance of it all made Kendrick realize how long he’d been hiding from reality, living in the worlds he created in his head and the very small sanctuary of his garden and cottage. Why had he let Isabella take so much from him?

Suddenly, the peacefulness of the last few hours dissipated, and the fears about Miranda came crashing back. What was he doing? He knew nothing about being a father. She probably didn’t even remember him.

As though she could tell what he was thinking, Lavender pressed back against him and squeezed his hand.

“Kendrick,” she whispered, her voice soft and reassuring. “I know you’re worried about what tomorrow will bring, but I’ll be there with you, and whatever happens, we’ll face it together. You’re not alone anymore.”

He turned to look into her eyes, seeing the depth of her love and support for him. It was a feeling he had never experienced before—the unwavering loyalty of a true partner. And it filled him with a newfound strength, a determination not to let his fears hold him back any longer.

“You’re right,” he said, his voice steady now. “We’ll face whatever comes together.”

She smiled and stretched lazily. “Maybe I am getting hungry. Why don’t we get dressed and go down to the dining car?”

He knew she was just trying to distract him from his dark thoughts, but he appreciated it, and it even worked to some extent.

“All right,” he agreed, rolling to a sitting position and immediately missing the feel of her in his arms. If given his way, he’d probably shrivel up and die in her arms, too content to move.

As they slipped into their clothes, he couldn’t help but marvel at the way she moved. Every motion was graceful, each gesture full of life and energy. She’d mentioned that she was clumsy, but he didn’t see it. She had an inner light that illuminated everything around her. She was his sunshine.

In the dining car, they shared a meal of succulent roast beef and crisp vegetables, savoring the flavors as much as the company. Between bites, they shared more stories from their past—tales of childhood adventures and first loves. He was getting to know her in a way he’d never known anybody. He was also letting her get to know him, something he’d never expected he’d do.

The train rocked gently beneath them as it continued its journey, carrying them ever closer to their destination. Kendrick couldn’t help but feel a sense of anticipation—not just for finding his daughter, but for all the possibilities ahead.