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Chapter Twenty-Nine

LIE

“Is that why you work there?” Dad asks. I barely recognize his voice these days. It’s always angry. Always barely not yelling. “So you can fuck around with my best friend behind my back?”

His words hurt. But I’m tired of crying. So I snap back. “You forced me to take that job! Or did you forget that?”

“Yes, take the job, so you’re fucking working, Elijah. Not take the job on your knees. There’s a difference.”

For once, my mother has been absolutely silent. She watches us, eyes moving between us, unsure what to do or say.

“You know what? Fine. I quit. There you go. If that’s what you think I do at work, then fine.”

“You can’t just quit.”

“I’ve quit for actual legitimate reasons for a long time. I can totally go out on a bullshit one that my dad is being an asshole and doesn’t want to me work at the bar where his best friend does because he’s too blind with his own anger to listen to a fucking thing we’re trying to tell him.”

“You’re right. This is my fault. I pushed you to work with Laiken and you both somehow interpreted that as to mean you can fuck around. My fault. So sorry.”

I’m not sure I even recognize my dad anymore. This isn’t the man who used to read me the newsletter when I was younger, taught me to swim, or would spend hours in the yard with me, laughing about whatever.

I don’t know this one. This one makes my heart hurt.

When I feel tears sting my eyes, I turn for the door. I won’t let him see me cry anymore.

“Where are you going?”

“To quit. That’s what you want, so that’s what I’m doing.”

“What I want?—”

“I’ve reached my limit of giving you what you want,” I yell.

I throw the door open so hard that it hits the wall and bounces back.

I catch it and wince with the pain that ricochets through my arm.

“You know what I want? I want my fucking dad back. And if he’s not coming back, then I would much prefer if you go back to pretending I’m not alive.

That was far more preferable to the shitty things that come out of your mouth now. ”

I don’t wait for him to answer as I yank the door shut behind me. It gives a satisfying SLAM , and I think I even hear the windows rattle. Good. Maybe I broke one. I wipe my eyes and storm across the yards.

I don’t knock when I reach Laiken’s front door. With frustration, I shove it open and then close it again. While it’s not nearly as satisfying as listening to it slam, I flip the lock and then glare when it doesn’t echo off the walls in a loud statement.

I want to scream.

Instead, I jump when Laiken wraps around me, hugging me to his chest. It dislodges the tears, but I only allow myself a short moment. He doesn’t deserve my tears. I didn’t do this to attack him. I didn’t steal his best friend. I didn’t get on my fucking knees for him.

I sat in a damn chair like a gentleman!

My breath is heavy and loud as I take several to clear my head. “Sorry,” I whisper.

“Don’t ever be sorry.”

“You didn’t let me tell you what I’m sorry about.”

“Ah. What are you apologizing for, Lie?”

“I quit.” His body tenses. “The bar,” I add quickly. “I quit that bar.”

He lets out a breath. “My turn to apologize. I didn’t mean to read something else into those words. We’re all a little tense right now, and I think it’s making our heads immediately go gloom and doom, worst-case scenarios.”

I turn in his arms to look at him. “I’m not quitting you.”

“That’s what Nason wants, and I know how much you miss him.”

“ That man is not my father,” I say, hearing how my voice gets dark. “I don’t know who he is, but he’s not my dad.”

Laiken rests his forehead on mine. “I understand that more than I can say. I’ve been thinking those same thoughts this last week.

I don’t recognize the man we’re dealing with right now.

I’ve never seen him act this way. Unwilling to listen.

Being confrontational. Saying shit I would have bet my life on never leaving his mouth under any circumstances. ”

“I have such a headache,” I complain.

His hands slide down to my thighs, and he picks me up, so I wrap my legs around him. Despite my exhaustion and misery, I smile.

“How about you spend the evening in bed? I’ll get some sandwiches delivered. Call Cash over to hang out. Watch cartoons. Crochet some dicks.”

“I’m sorry I’m screwing you at the bar,” I say as he sets me on the floor in his room.

Laiken crouches down to take my shoes off. “Don’t be. I’ve been over-staffing us so I can spend more time with you than actually working.”

“I guess maybe some of his accusations aren’t wrong,” I whisper.

He gets back to his feet, his fingers around my chin.

“He is wrong. What happens in the back room only began after we started seeing each other. Not in the way he’s implying, Lie.

There was no seduction involved. No quid pro quo.

No bribing. No sucking up. Nothing except us unable to keep our hands off each other as our relationship got more serious. ”

I know Laiken is right. I was there for the whole thing, after all. I know the truth. But it just… hits me when Dad says those things.

Laiken kisses my forehead. “Get into bed. Call Cash. I’ll get some food delivered. I’ll be back as soon as I can get away.”

“Okay.”

He leaves the room, and I pull out my phone to call Cash. He answers right away.

“Want to come over while Laiken is at work?” I ask.

“Are you at home?”

“No. I’m at Laiken’s. Surprisingly, Dad now has an issue with me working at the bar, so I quit. I’m not feeling like going back there right now, though, so I’m going to wallow in Laiken’s bed. He’s ordering dinner.”

“Yep, I’ll be there in ten. Need anything?”

I shake my head. “No. Just your company. You better have some tea to spill. I need to think about literally anything else tonight.”

“I have some tea,” Cash confirms. “Be there in a minute.”

I drop my phone and curl into the blankets. Laiken returns and I hear the television flicker on. He kneels on the bed, his fingers running through my hair.

“It’ll get better,” he says quietly. “I promise.”

“I don’t see it getting better,” I admit. The words feel like I’m finally admitting something, and it makes my chest hurt. Emotion lodges in my throat.

“It will. Even if better doesn’t look anything like what we hope will happen.”

I imagine that means… I’ll get used to Dad being a jerk? Is that it? “I’m sorry you’re going to be short tonight.”

“I would rather you be here than take a chance at a confrontation. Besides, bartending isn’t your forever future.”

A smile curls my lips, and I peek up at him. He’s smiling. Laiken leans over to kiss my head. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Cash will be here soon?” I nod. “Good. Call the bar if you need anything.”

Meaning, if my dad comes over being a dick.

I’m alone for less than five minutes before Cash is there. He brought a tub of ice cream, a bag of snacks, and intercepted our dinner delivery. He also locked up the house to deter any unwanted visitors.

With ice cream in the freezer, Cash burrows himself under the blankets with me, holding me close. “Are you okay?” he asks.

“Someone somewhere is worse.”

He snorts. “But really. Are you okay?”

“Laiken says it’ll get better, but I’m not convinced of that.”

“Dad still being mean?”

“Mean isn’t the word. I told him I wish he’d go back to ignoring me since I can’t take the gross things he keeps implying, if not outright saying.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. So tell me something good. Please. Gossip about someone other than me. Anything at all. Is Ben on a plane yet? Oh! You can start with the truth as to why Onyx was driving the boat the other day.”

Cash sighs. “Well, it happened just as I said it did. I was talking to one of my coworkers, but… I wasn’t sure they were really going to keep this a secret, so I was frustrated as I wandered around my driveway.

I didn’t realize Onyx was standing in the garage doorway and the next thing I knew, he said he’d drive and keep whatever secrets I had. ”

“That’s weirdly nice of him.”

“Yeah. Considering I hadn’t let him in my room in weeks! I haven’t even talked to him. Haven’t been to the bar to look at him or anything.”

“He doesn’t like your silence.”

“No. So anyway. We kept the boat out on the water through the fireworks and… talked. And, you know, things happened.”

“I’m going to need details.” I already know Cash is flushed without having to look at him.

He sighs. “Kissing. Sucking. Uh… fingers. You know. Things. ”

I grin. “We’re going to have to work on what ‘ details ’ mean, but go on.”

“We get home late, and Ben is already asleep, so Onyx follows me to my room and we… continue.”

“Does that mean you didn’t get off while on the boat?”

“Oh my god, yes, we did.”

“Ooooh, so this is a continuation of the date. Stop stalling. Tell me more.”

“I’m not stalling. You keep interrupting.”

“You’re stalling right now.”

Cash pinches me, making me laugh.

“We continue ,” Cash says, emphasizing each syllable. “We have sex.”

I pull away to look at him with wide, surprised eyes. “No!”

His face is lobster red as he bites his lip. “Yes.”

“How was it? Did you love it or hate it? Did he hurt you? Actual details, Cash!”

Cash sighs. “It was really good. I loved it. Yes, it hurt, but that was probably my fault more than his, since I didn’t exactly tell him I’ve never had sex before. He figured it out, of course, and it got a lot better once he knew.”

“That’s detailed without me knowing anything,” I complain.

“We’ve had sex a couple more times since then,” he says, grinning. “It gets better and better. Every time.”

I squee and wrap my arms around his neck. “Oh, my sweet Cashy isn’t so innocent anymore.”

He pinches me again, making me laugh. This is just the kind of conversation I need to take my mind off my life.

Cash sighs. “He’s so much more attentive to me now. He calls and texts me all the time. He even snuck in my window last night, so he didn’t have to wait for Ben to fall asleep.”

“I have a wild question.” I lean back to look at him. “Do you think Ben is such a tool because he has a thing for Onyx, and Onyx doesn’t feel the same way?”

“I don’t even know,” Cash says, shaking his head.

“On the boat, I asked Onyx why he’s friends with Ben since Ben is such an asshole, and he just shook his head, telling me he didn’t know.

This isn’t the boy he used to know. Not the kid he met in school, and not the guy he started Whiskey Horizons with.

He says he thinks he sticks around, hoping that Ben still exists somewhere, and will eventually come back. ”

“I think I know that feeling,” I say.

Cash nods. “I’m sure you do,” he agrees, voice quiet. Cash squeezes my hands. “You and Laiken are still doing okay despite… uh, outside forces?”

“We are. He says he wants to be with me. He said it’s not a choice that he has to make.

Dad has already made it by trying to force us to make a choice.

That’s the way ultimatums work, right? If someone is a big enough dick to try to make you choose, they’ve already made the choice for you because you know you don’t want to be around someone like that. ”

He sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“I guess… I’m glad I’m here,” I say. “I think I love him, Cash.”

Cash beams at me. “Of course you do, pumpkin. I could have told you that months ago.”

“I always imagined Dad would be so excited when I fell in love. I thought we’d, I don’t know, plan shit together. Not a wedding, necessarily. I’m not sure I want to get married. But I don’t know what I mean.”

“You thought you’d share the experience with him because you’ve shared everything with him,” Cash says.

I nod. “I know this is hard to accept, but Lie, he’s the one missing out on this really great thing.

So what if this shouldn’t have happened and big, fat, bold lines were crossed?

It did happen and you’re both really fucking happy and in love.

As your dad, as Nason’s best friend, he owes you at least a civil conversation, and he’s not willing to do that.

I’m sorry, but that’s not the kind of person you need in your life, Lie.

He’s missing out on such a beautiful, happy future for you. ”

“Yeah,” I say, not quite convinced.

“Listen.” Cash grips me tightly. “I want you to think about something. He’s treating his son like shit.

His son, who he’s spent days and hours and years with, just hanging out and laughing and having a good time.

Sharing secrets and experiences. Making amazing memories.

Elijah, he’s willing to throw that away because he’s angry with you. ”

I close my eyes, trying not to choke up.

“The truth is, even if you and Laiken did exactly what he wants right now, he’s already created a rift that can’t be sealed again. With both of you. No matter what happens now, the dad you had two weeks ago is never going to be the dad you have again. He’s made sure of that.”

A tear slips down my cheek. I nod. I know he’s right. I’ve just been hoping for a different outcome. Hoping that at some point, he’d come around and listen to us. Understand. Beg for forgiveness for being a jerk and saying the things he’s been saying.

But Cash is right. Even if all those things happened, the hurt he’s caused me will never allow me to trust him again. It will never allow me to have the relationship with him we once had.

I’ve lost my best friend, and nothing will ever change that.