Page 12

Chapter Eleven

LIE

I let myself in Cash’s room, finding him on the floor, leaning back against his bed with his phone in his hand.

“You have a box,” he says, nodding his head toward his desk, though he doesn’t look up.

I shut his door and head straight for the box, tossing him the folded newsletter I brought with me. It’s not a huge box. Six by six by six. What’s inside can fit in the palm of my hand. I’m totally stoked.

There’s a pair of scissors in the penholder. I carefully cut the tape and dig through the packing peanuts to find my treasure.

I grin, feeling the bubble of giggles surge through me as I turn to face Cash. He’s no longer looking at his phone but waiting for me to show him. He rolls his eyes, laughing. “Do you have a whole zoo yet?”

It’s a turtle but instead of a head, it has a dick. It’s so damn cute. “No. But I do have a chicken-cock. Chicock? Cocken.”

“Dicken. Chick-a-dick,” Cash says, and we burst into giggles.

“I also have a unicorn with a dick for its horn. An octopus with penis limbs, and a dinosaur with a dick head. And a banana that’s unwrapped to reveal the dick inside, though that doesn’t belong in a zoo.”

“Just a fruit bowl.”

I laugh, admiring my little turtle creature.

I send all my goodies to Cash’s house. His parents won’t open his boxes ‘ accidentally, ’ and then get horrified by what they find inside. They’re allowed to invade my privacy, but then get offended by what they find inside, as if I handed it to them.

By them, I mean my mother. After it happened a few times, I started sending things to Cash’s house. His parents are cool and not in the least bit offended if I show them what I bought.

“Just another toy to add to my collection,” I muse. Someday, my collection won’t be hidden in boxes in my closet and under my bed.

“Okay, sit,” Cash says. “I have to tell you something.”

“Uh oh.” I set my cock creature on the desk and drop to the floor with him. “What happened?”

Cash glances at the door. “Okay, so for the past few weeks, Onyx has been sneaking into my room. Innocently. He saw my light on when he got up in the middle of the night and said that when I didn’t answer, he thought I fell asleep with it on, so he was going to turn it off for me.”

“That’s sweet!”

Cash grins. “Yeah. It is. I wasn’t asleep. I had my headphones on, listening to music. He ended up coming in, and we just… hung out for a few hours. Talked. Whatever.”

“ Whatever . I think you need to expand on whatever,” I say.

His grin widens. “Every night that first week, he snuck into my room after Ben fell asleep. And then all of last week, whenever he was spending the night. And he started flirting with me. Then this week, he’s been in my room most nights.”

Cash grabs my hands, his excitement shining through his eyes like stars. “He kissed me last night.”

“Oh my god.”

“Right?!”

“How was it? Tell me everything.”

Cash sighs. “It was… amazing. He has this, like, Daddy vibe to him, you know? Like control, and spankings, and comfort. I don’t know.”

My smile is so wide, my cheeks hurt. “But how was the kiss?”

He rolls his eyes. “You know I have, like, nothing to compare it to. But if I had been standing, I’d have been on my knees. It was as if I could feel his kiss throughout his entire body. The way he used his tongue. How he gripped my chin, keeping my face where he wanted me.” Cash sighs.

“You left out the part where you’ve been crushing on him.”

Cash huffs. “Crushing on Onyx wasn’t going anywhere,” he says, frowning. “I swear, my brother has known I’ve been crushing on him for ages. I think that only adds to why he hates me. I have no right crushing on his best friend.”

“Ben is a loser,” I mutter.

He reaches under his bed and pulls out a food container. Inside are silicone resealable bags. The kind of snack bags that are reusable and dishwasher safe. He has a whole variety of snacks and offers me one of the bags.

I gladly take it, opening it to find crackers.

“I guess I never told you because it wasn’t going to be real , you know?”

Absolutely. I understand that on a deep, personal level.

“I…” He sighs heavily. “These last few weeks kind of felt like a dream and I’ve been so tired since I’m up all night with him that maybe part of me thought I really was dreaming, you know?”

“Okay, explain the other night at the bar. You and those three guys.”

Cash gives me a mischievous grin. “I had an idea that he was kinda trying not to flirt with me, and yet he kept coming back to my room. So I thought I’d show him he’s not my only option. Just to see what he’d do.”

“What did he do?”

“Oh my god, Lie. He told me that all dirty guys like that wanted was my, and I quote, ‘ sweet, little body .’”

We both make a squeaky sound.

“I mean, that was kind of the point, wasn’t it?”

“Obviously. I knew that immediately.”

“What do you talk about for hours?”

Cash sighs dreamily. I almost roll my eyes. “Everything. Well, everything except why he comes to my room. Or Ben and stuff like that. I keep wanting to ask him if he’s straight like Ben insists, but I guess maybe I’m afraid of the answer.”

I’ve always had this idea that Benson is so pissed off with Cash because Cash is gay. Which is really weird considering where we live and where he grew up. I’ve heard him comment to guys hitting on them between sets that they’re all straight, so don’t waste their time.

Something tells me that maybe Benson doesn’t actually know Onyx’s sexuality. Or, I guess, Onyx could be a book trope—bi-awakening, anyone? But more likely, I’m guessing Ben doesn’t know and Onyx doesn’t correct him because Ben’s an asshole and Onyx wants to avoid that noise.

“Too bad. I’d like to know how he can stand to be around Ben.”

He snorts. “Same.”

I pick up the newsletter. The headline today reads:

Management Strike Persists

Laiken really set off a wave of unrest. Thinking of Laiken makes me think that perhaps it’s my turn to come clean.

“My turn,” I tell Cash, setting the newsletter down again.

“Ohhh…” he says, leaning forward.

“Have you noticed that I’ve been flirting with Laiken for years now?”

Cash frowns. “This confession better be less obvious than that.”

I laugh. “Yeah. So… right before Valentine’s Day, I made dick cookies at his house. He actually flirted back with me, Cash. And he kept staring at my ass. Until then, he’s never returned my flirting.”

“No shit!”

“Mhm. The following week, when we went to the bar and Laiken followed us outside?” Cash nods. “He kissed me.”

Cash’s mouth drops open.

I push on before he can say anything. “He kissed me, and then he promptly told me we couldn’t do it again. I kinda avoided being around him for a couple of weeks.”

“Ass,” Cash says, frowning.

“Yes. So, my dad cornered us and suggested that, because I’m always between jobs, I work with Laiken.

Laiken will keep the jerks from snapping their fingers at me or whatever.

Since I couldn’t think of a reason to say no and it seemed Laiken was at a loss too, we didn’t have a choice but to agree.

That first shift, a guy gave me his room number for a hookup, and I might have made it pretty clear that I had options.

He pulled me into the tree cluster between our houses and kissed me for, like, ever. ”

Cash squeals.

“I told him I understood why he’s hesitant to get involved, but I’m not going to turn into a monk just because we can’t fool around. I told him he had two options—we fool around or he doesn’t get a say in who I hook up with.”

“Tell me he chose you.” My smile says it all, and Cash squeals in excitement again. “Holy hell!”

“So, we’ve been making out for a while. He totally loves my ass. I’ve sucked his dick. He’s sucked me and we’ve frotted in his bed. Not to get all TMI, but Cash, he has the sexiest dick I’ve ever seen! Like, gay men write sonnets about this thing.”

He sighs, drops back against his bed, and gives me a huge smile.

“I know.”

Silence falls around us for several minutes. My eyes linger on the newsletter.

“Lie, what’s your dad going to say?”

I shake my head. “He’s not going to find out.”

“Yeah? You guys made a plan?”

“Nothing we’ve discussed, but I don’t think there needs to be an in-depth plan. Bottom line, my dad can’t find out.”

“He’s going to lose his shit.”

“Probably.”

“Then… What’s the plan? You keep this a secret forever?”

“We’re not talking about forever. It’s just a mutual attraction, and we’re… acting on it. It’s not a forever situation.”

Cash is giving me a dubious look. I roll my eyes.

“He’s my dad’s best friend. I think we both know—okay, we all know—this isn’t a forever relationship.

We’re just hooking up. Because it’s forbidden and hot.

Don’t tell me you don’t see the appeal in sneaking around.

Even if Onyx never flirted and never kissed you, Ben would still lose his shit if he learned you and Onyx were becoming friends.

Which lends a different kind of appeal to the situation, right? ”

“Yeah,” he agrees, though reluctantly. “I know. I just…” His words trail off as he drops his head against his bed.

“I blow off everyone’s advances,” he says quietly.

“No one is even remotely appealing, you know? Even though I’ve been crushing on Onyx for ages, I thought he’d be no different.

Like, I’ve maybe fantasized about him kissing me and whatever, but that’s happened before. ”

“Chester Bloomburg,” I say.

Cash snorts. “Yeah, Chester Bloomburg.”

His crush throughout high school. When Chester finally started flirting with him, Cash was ecstatic. But as soon as Chester tried to hold his hands, kiss him, or touch him in any way, Cash was completely over it.

“I thought Onyx would be the same. I kinda don’t know what to do because it’s not the same thing.”

“Can I ask you something?” Cash nods. “Do you think maybe it’s different because you want it to be? Or because it’ll piss Ben off? Or do you actually feel differently?”

“It’s real,” he says quietly. “With Chester and Luke, I immediately felt revolted when they crossed the line into wanting to kiss me. I kissed them both because it felt really weird not to, right? But then I shoved them both away. My entire body felt ick. They instantly lost all appeal.”

“Not the same with Onyx.”

A soft smile touches his lips. “No,” he whispers. “Why him? Why the one person who will make my brother lose his damn mind?”

I huff. “Gee. I have no idea what that feels like.”

Cash laughs. “We’re quite the pair, huh?”

“At the very least, this speaks to our poor judgment in choosing men.”

“There’s a common theme here,” Cash points out. “Laiken has been around your entire life. Onyx has been around the vast majority of mine.”

“That’s… weird. Interesting. Also, a little creepy.”

He smiles.

I shift so I’m sitting beside him on the floor, leaning on the bed. We rest our heads together and sit in silence for a while.

“He kissed me right here,” Cash says quietly.

I grin.

“You know what I’m most afraid of?” he asks, and I shake my head.

“Falling in love with him. There’s no worse person to fall in love with.

It’s Romeo and Juliet. Ben will lose his mind.

He’ll make life so fucking miserable that being together would be a mountain to scale every day.

Or… he’ll leave like my brother says they’re going to once Whiskey Horizons catches a break.

Either way, I feel like a broken heart is inevitable. ”

My situation might be different, and yet, there are some weird and freaky parallels. Either way, nothing between Laiken and me can last. There’s no such thing as an indefinite secret relationship. At some point, one or both of us will get tired and want to stop hiding it.

Which means there’s one solution: no relationship at all. It ends. It wasn’t even supposed to begin.

We both crossed a very bright, solid, crisp line. Besties code. Father/son code.

This might be why I’m insisting that this is nothing but sex. Nothing can come of it, and I don’t fancy a broken heart from a man I’m never going to escape. He’ll be there every single day for as long as I live because he’s my dad’s best friend.

I sigh, closing my eyes. There’s a lot of fun involved. A lot of heightened sexy time because we shouldn’t be doing it. But at the end of the day, no one is going to come out of this on top. My gut tells me that this is going to end really, really badly.

Cash picks up the newsletter and flips the page until we come across the short installment of King Arthur’s Camelot. I close my eyes as he reads it, imagining myself as Lancelot and Laiken as King Arthur, sneaking a forbidden kiss late at night by torchlight.

That’s where the scene ends, but I imagine King Arthur dropping to his knees and tearing Lancelot’s pants open to suck his leaking dick.

Hmm. I wonder if semen makes metal armor rust.