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Chapter Nineteen

LIE

I think almost being caught by my dad really freaked Laiken out. He’s been keeping a bit of physical distance between us, both at work and out.

I suppose the word doesn’t matter. The fact is, his protectiveness at work now feels parental. As it has been before that day in his kitchen making cock cookies. Like we’ve taken a step back in time.

I’m frustrated, and yeah, hurt. Yet, I understand. I’m the one who hid in the damn closet for three hours. Obviously, I’m concerned enough with the possibility that my father will find out that I was in the literal closet!

But this sucks.

Sighing, I slip from my bed and pull the basket of crochet cocks from under my bed and load up my current project into a drawstring bag. I’m not going to wallow in my house today because my not-a-boyfriend is being weird.

I’m going to wallow at Cash’s house instead. At least I won’t be alone.

The house is blessedly empty, so I stop in the kitchen to refill my water bottle and grab another reusable bottle for some iced tea. Mom makes great iced tea. It’s one of my favorites, surpassing everyone else’s I’ve tried.

As I step outside, my phone rings. Laiken’s name flashes across the screen, and I glance at his house. Did he see me step outside? Unlike his house, my front door isn’t pushed back into an alcove hidden from prying eyes.

My stomach flutters as I answer. “Hey.”

“Hey.” His voice is quiet. Not like he’s hiding from someone overhearing, but maybe just… Does he feel obligated to call me? Since he won’t spend any time with me? “What’re you doing?”

“Going to Cash’s. You?”

“Painting my bedroom and the bathroom. I’m skipping the closet, though. The idea of pulling all those clothes out is intimidating.”

I remain on the front stoop, wondering if he’s going to ask me to come over. “You’re going to leave the closet red?”

“Ketchup red. I realize now that Denise was using the color palette of condiments.”

I laugh. “Oh god. That’s awful.”

“Mustard-yellow living room. Ketchup-red bedroom and closet. Baked-bread-crust-brown spare room. Purple onion bathroom. Pickle-green in the kitchen.”

“Oh my god, you’re right!” I laugh again.

“I’m glad to go to a neutral pallet. Although I’m realizing that the kitchen and bathroom need to be addressed as a whole. The countertops and backsplash go with the pickle walls. The bathroom has the same issues. These aren’t just cosmetic changes.”

“You should get all the things and have a house remodel weekend like those television shows. You know, where that guy comes in and does one whole area in three days of really hard work with friends.”

Laiken sighs. “That feels overwhelming. Walls for now. The one thing I’ll say about Denise doing this is that someone else making the decisions is a lot of weight and pressure off my shoulders.”

“It also means your palette is condiments,” I point out.

He snorts. “That’s fair.”

“I think Mom or Dad would help you decide. If you asked.”

“Or maybe you have ideas?” he asks.

My heart skips. Is he asking me because I’m convenient and on the phone with him right now? I’m not going to read too much into this. I won’t.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Please do. Take pity on me, Lie.”

I grin. “I might have ideas, but it’ll have to wait.”

“Because you’re going to Cash’s.”

I stare at his house, wondering where inside he is. If he asks me to come over, I will. It’s not like I told Cash I was coming over. The little bitch is probably asleep. Or maybe at work. Hm.

“Yep.”

“Staying there tonight?”

“Maybe.” I have no plans to. Is he fishing? I chew my lip as I consider what he’s trying to say or not to say.

“Call me later,” Laiken says. “I miss your voice when we don’t talk all day.”

I close my eyes, shoulders sagging. That’s a positive comment. I shouldn’t feel sad about it. “I will.”

“Have fun.”

‘ I miss your voice ’ could be shortened to ‘ I miss you, ’ right? Do I say it back? God, what has become of me? I’ve never pined after someone before. I don’t particularly want to start now. This is kind of a shitty situation to pine over.

“Enjoy painting.”

He huffs.

A few seconds pass where neither of us speaks or hangs up, but after a few more, I pull the phone from my ear and sigh. He gave me a flower , I remind myself. He took me on a paddleboard date.

But that was before my dad started poking around. Hinting about the person Laiken is hiding. I spend the walk to Cash’s house contemplating this. I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince myself to get over this thing with Laiken and move on, or that there’s something really here and…

And what? What’s going to come of this?

The walk to Cash’s house is eight minutes. I knock on his window on my way by, and Cash meets me at the door. His hair is sticking up, and I laugh, reaching up to brush it down. “What were you doing last night?” I tease when my fingers get caught in knots.

He rolls his eyes. “Nothing,” he mutters.

I follow him into his room, where I shut the door behind me. He drops onto his bed, feet hanging off the side, and draping an arm over his eyes. He looks like I feel.

Kicking off my flip-flops and dropping my bag on the floor, I climb onto the bed beside him, on my side so I can face him. “You up all night again? Is that why you look miserable?”

Cash sighs. “Yes, but not because he was in here,” he mutters.

“Why then? Why wasn’t he in here? I feel like we haven’t talked in months. What have I missed?”

“Since the last incident at the bar, Ben has been insufferable. He literally tried to break into my room at almost midnight, slamming on my door and demanding I unlock it. He was hollering at me about fuck knows what. He woke my parents, and they fought in the hall. I think they finally understand that I’m literally not doing a damn thing and Ben’s being a dickwad for any reason he can think of, even when I’m nowhere near him and haven’t been for at least four hours at that point. ”

I shake my head. “It’s about time they figured it out.” I brush my hand through his hair, patting it down.

“Yeah, but anyway. Since the bar, Onyx hasn’t been coming in every night.

He said that we can’t do this. Ben would lose his mind.

I argued Ben has already lost his mind for a reason only Ben knows, apparently, since Onyx doesn’t understand what his problem is either.

So it felt like the last few nights he was in here, it was…

like… I don’t know. Cold? Yeah, so I locked my door the last couple nights, and listened to him tap on my door, and try the handle. Several times.”

“You stayed strong and didn’t let him in.”

“Yes. But last night he tried six times, Lie,” he says miserably. He rolls to his side to face me, hair falling into his face that he absently pushes away. “I don’t know what to do. He wants to come in, but… he doesn’t want to do this.”

“I think you’re missing what he’s saying, though I’m only getting second-hand margin notes. He didn’t say he didn’t want to, right? He said he can’t.”

“I guess I want him to choose me,” Cash admits. He lets his body fall forward, his forehead landing on my chest. I hug him with one arm. “And yet, I’d be absolutely devastated and furious if you chose someone over me, so I can’t even say I don’t understand.”

“Except that I’m not an asshole,” I argue. “Our friendship makes sense. I will never understand how he stands being around Benson.”

“Yes. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like it’s a fair comparison. You’re a good person. Ben isn’t. But Onyx is. So how can two entirely different people, Onyx and Ben, be best friends?”

“Maybe think of it differently. Maybe Onyx doesn’t actually like Ben anymore, but they’ve been friends for so long that it’s loyalty keeping him there? Or… oh, the band. Maybe he wants to keep the band going.”

“And leave Kala for their big break literally anywhere else,” he mutters.

“Which brings up more reasons why I shouldn’t be upset that he can’t do this, you know?

He’s leaving anyway. I’m not going with him.

Even if he asked me to—which he won’t—I’m not leaving Kala.

Your experience has given me nightmares, and I love my job. ”

I hug him a little closer. “I’m sorry.”

Cash sighs. “What’s up with you?”

“Well, brace yourself. I finally get his massive dick in me and my fucking father walks into his house.”

“Oh my god!” Cash exclaims, leaning back to look at me with wide, horrified eyes.

“Yep. So as a person who has never been in the closet, I hid in the closet for three hours since my dad wanted to hang with Laiken, and Dad already knows Laiken has a secret lover. Doing something suspicious would make my dad snoop, so yeah. Since then, Laiken has reverted to uncle or Dad Number Two.”

Cash gives me a sympathetic look. “That sucks.”

“Yep. It does. But like you, I can think of a lot of fucking reasons this can’t go on.

Not least of all because one or both of us is going to end up broken-hearted when it has to end, and it has to end, right?

My father will not be okay with this. It’s better to end it before my dad finds out, right? ”

“Yes! Exactly. I’d rather be in control of the way it ends than Ben finding out and losing his fucking shit. I think he’d actually hit me.”

“I’ll run him over if he touches you,” I say. “I don’t know with what, but I will.”

He smiles, letting himself fall onto his back again. “How did we get caught up in these situations? Why these two men out of the literal thousands of options surrounding us on any given day? I mean, I see hundreds of hotties daily at work. Why does it have to be him ?”

I nod. “There is not a shift that goes by where I’m not handed room numbers on napkins. I get it. My options are plentiful. Oh! Before I forget. I have tea.”

Cash grins and comes up on his side again. “Tell.”

“While I was hiding in the closet, Mr. Calloway called Laiken and wants to talk to him about the management job without Taylor’s involvement. It sounds to me like Taylor’s been removed from his supervisory role.”

“Wow.” He rocks backwards as if a strong breeze shoved at him. “That’s… wow.”

“On top of this month’s town meeting being canceled, I’m dying to know what’s going on behind the scenes.”

“Has your dad said anything?”

“No! He didn’t even tell me he stepped down from his position in solidarity with all upper management until I found out way after the fact. I’m seriously offended.”

Cash laughs.

“Now tell me about your job. You said you love it?”

He sighs. “So, so much, Lie. I’ve always thought that I’d love to work on a boat, but man, I didn’t realize how much.

I want to own a boat, give tours, and stay on the water all day.

Every tour we go on, I think of a hundred things I’d do differently.

Fun things that the tours we currently have don’t do. ”

“Have you suggested your ideas?”

Cash shakes his head. “No. I’m caught between sharing them and keeping them for myself for when I can finally buy a boat and offer my own tours. Want to own a business with me, Lie? We’d have so much damn fun all day!”

I grin. The idea of spending every day with Cash is definitely the most appealing job of all time. It’s certainly enticing. “I’ll think about it.” But being on the water every day? I’m not sure I’m cut out for that.

Then again, it doesn’t feel like I’m cut out for anything, so there’s that.

He sighs. “I don’t even know where to begin. How do I make this happen? I want it so bad.”

“I think you need to begin by pricing the cost of the exact boat you want and saving up. It’s going to take a while since I imagine boats are expensive.”

“So expensive.”

“In the time it takes you to save up, you have plenty of time to figure out how to make it happen. How to propose it to the Calloways and how to get it in the excursion books. In this one instance, it’s not bad that it’ll take some time. That means you have time to get it right.”

“It’s kind of scary,” he admits. “The idea I’d be doing this all alone.”

“Is that your passive-aggressive way of convincing me to do this with you?”

He grins. “Yes!”

I roll my eyes.

“No. It’s not. I’m just saying that I’m a little scared of the idea of doing this all alone.

But at the same time, I don’t want a partner who might want to change my ideas.

Not saying they’re all good ideas, and maybe I need someone to talk me off the ledge, but I also don’t want someone to tell me it’s all wrong and try to take over.

And then there’s knowing that everything is on me. Me! It’s a little terrifying.”

I grip his hand. “Don’t let your fear hold you back. If this is your dream and you’re passionate about it, Cash, then do it! Maybe I won’t be your partner, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be by your side every step of the way.”

He smiles. “Thanks, Lie.” His shoulders relax. “That makes me feel better.” His phone gives off this loud, obnoxious sound that feels like nails down your spine.

“What the fuck is that?” I say as he rolls away.

Laughing, he makes it stop. “My alarm. It needs to be the worst sound in the world, or I won’t get up. This is the second worst sound in the world.”

“What’s the first?”

“Benson.”

I laugh and watch as he gets out of bed. “Going to work, huh?”

He nods. “Yep. You can stay here. I only have three tours today, so I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Cool. I have some crochet cocks to finish, anyway.”