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Chapter Twenty-Eight

LAIKEN

Things do not get better over the next few days. I keep telling Lie to give Nason some time to process. He’s not wrong. We were lying to him. Lying by omission is still lying. That’s exactly what we were doing.

Yes, he knew we were both seeing someone in secret. But this was a big line we crossed, and we both know that. We chose to cross it anyway.

However, seeing how truly devastated Lie is because Nason won’t talk to him makes me angry. I would much rather take the entire brunt of Nason’s behavior than have Lie deal with it at all. They’ve never fought. Ever. So this is truly awful for Lie.

There are constant tears shining in his eyes every time he comes over. “Dad’s acting like I don’t exist.”

His words hurt my heart. I can only imagine how truly painful it is for Lie. I’ve never seen a father and son with such a special relationship as the one Nason and Lie share. Which is why this is pissing me off the longer Nason treats Lie like a ghost.

He doesn’t deserve that. Even if he disagrees with our decision, Lie doesn’t deserve to be treated the way Nason is treating him.

I can’t even enjoy holding Lie to me without hiding it. Without fear of someone seeing us through the window we’re standing in front of. Not when I know how incredibly upset he is right now. And I have no idea how to fix it except to let Nason take some time and sit with the facts.

Unsurprisingly, news has spread around the island and everyone knows.

There are definitely those who disapprove for one of a few reasons.

Namely, age or that he’s my best friend’s son.

I point out that they can’t sit here and tout ‘ love is love ’ when it’s convenient for them and decide it doesn’t apply to others.

Fact of the matter is, Lie is a grown-ass adult, and I didn’t touch him or prey on him or fucking groom him—yes, all whispers I’ve heard. Those people don’t want the truth, though.

It’s difficult on Lie. Between being the subject of gossip and the way his father is treating him, he’s weighed down with stress.

“What do you need right now?” I ask, kissing his forehead.

Lie sighs. “Can we fast forward to when my dad isn’t so… upset?”

I’d love that. More than anything, I’d love that. It’s not like we can’t be respectful. We won’t, like, grope or anything in front of Nason and Miranda.

I sigh, holding him tightly to me. “Come on. I’ll walk you to Cash’s.”

He nods.

Lie is such a vibrant man. He always has been. It’s rare that he’s ever without a smile. It makes my heart ache to see him lose that shine. I can practically see the weight he’s carrying on his shoulders.

I keep him close as we walk down the road. I keep his hand in mine. Fortunately, no one seems to treat us any differently. Neighbors wave. We stop to chat twice on our way to Cash’s. The neighborhood feels and acts normal.

We both know that they’ll all be on the phone reporting that we were spotted walking hand-in-hand down the road together. They’ll comment on how sad Lie looks and how frustrated I appear. They’ll listen to the latest gossip about Nason’s attitude at work.

When someone gets together on Kala, it’s a hot topic for a few weeks, at minimum.

Depending on how juicy the hookup is, it remains in whispers until something new comes along to pull the attention away.

I’m not surprised that people are talking about this.

Fuck, I’d be talking about it too if I were observing it.

As long as no one is making Lie feel worse than he already is, I don’t care. I’ll take all the negativity and happily put the assholes in their place. I don’t want Lie to have to deal with more than his father right now. That’s not something I can handle for him.

“It’ll pass,” I assure him, kissing the side of his head. “Promise.”

“How can you promise that?” Lie asks. “What if it doesn’t?”

“Then… maybe we need to talk about it.”

Lie stops and turns to face me. His eyes shine. “Are you going to tell me there’s a point where we need to consider this a failed attempt and?—”

I stop his hurt rambling with my fingers over his mouth. A tear slips down his cheek. We’re in the middle of the road, about three houses from Cash’s. At the very least, we should have this conversation inside Cash’s house.

But that’s not what he needs right now. Lie needs some stability in his life when everything feels shaken.

“I’m not going anywhere, Lie.”

“What if Dad wants you to choose?” he whispers.

“Then he’s already made that choice for me. I’m not going anywhere. You’re it for me. You’ve been it for me since we last picked you up from the airport. It will never be too hard. It will never be too much.”

Lie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He nods. I pull him to my chest and hug him tightly. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “That was a shitty way for Nason to find out, and I think that’s adding to his hurt. I wish I could make him take that anger out on me instead of you.”

“I lied, too.”

“I know, but I hate how much you hurt when I can’t do anything about it.”

“You know what?” he asks, leaning back to look at me. “Even if we’d agreed to end it when he said so on the beach, he’d still be like this right now.”

“You think so?”

Lie nods. “I think the damage is done. I think we should have made a bigger effort to tell him ourselves instead of letting him find out like that.”

I don’t disagree, but I don’t think Nason’s reaction would be any different than it is now had we told him. This has been niggling at me for a long time. I’m sure that the biggest reason I decided to commit to secrecy was because I knew how Nason would handle this.

Just like he is. I’ve known him for the majority of my life. I knew.

I made the choice to follow my heart anyway. That makes me a shitty friend. He’s right about that.

“We should have,” I agree. “But we can’t change it now.

We can only decide how we’re going to deal with him and how we’re going to move forward.

In what direction.” Lie opens his mouth, but I prevent him from talking.

“So it’s very clear, the only path I want to follow is the one with you by my side, Lie. Understand?”

His shoulders relax. “Even if that means Dad never forgives us?” he whispers, eyes shining with tears.

“Even if it means Nason chooses to be an asshole for a very long time, yes. This isn’t just about me, though.”

“I want you,” Lie says, trying to give me a smile. I appreciate the attempt. “I keep trying to imagine what it would be like to not be with you, and just thinking about it makes my chest hurt. I don’t want to live without you, Laiken.”

While kissing Lie in the middle of the street for the entire neighborhood to witness is probably not what we should be doing if we want gossip about us to die down, I grip the sides of his neck and kiss him.

I need to make sure he understands I will keep and protect his heart for as long as mine is beating.

“You guys really want to give everyone a show, huh?” Cash calls from his yard. “I’ve received like eight texts in the last two minutes!”

Lie sighs, shoulders drooping. I raise his eyes to mine. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever. Understand?” I reiterate.

His smile comes a little more naturally. “Yeah. Me either.”

Thank fuck. I give him a quick kiss and then take his hand again to walk him the rest of the way to Cash. He’s watching us with amusement, though the concern in his eyes isn’t hidden well as he looks at Lie.

“My door is unlocked if you head back before I do. You know you don’t have to go home, right? If it becomes too much, you can lock yourself in my house or with Cash.”

Cash nods excessively.

“I know.” Lie smiles. “Go have fun with your friend. Tell him hi for me.”

“Wait, you have other friends?” Cash asks, looking at me.

Lie laughs, shoving him toward the door. Cash gives me a wink, and I know that tease was for Lie’s benefit more than it was a legitimate question.

I watch them until the door shuts and then stare for just a second. How do I fix this? How do I make it better so Nason acknowledges his son again? Then again, maybe that’s not for the best right now. I would never have guessed that Nason would accuse me of seducing Lie.

As I walk down the road, I try to imagine the things he’s probably thinking, and I have to admit, the ideas that pop up aren’t good. At all. I’d be pissed at me, too.

Which is why he needs to listen to us. He needs to let us explain. I need him to understand that I’d never hurt Lie.

Deryke is sitting out front of his bungalow when I walk up the path. He offers me a smile and a drink. “I ordered lunch. I’m hungry. It’ll be here in minutes.”

“Thanks.” I take a seat beside him and sip on the smoothie he provided.

“You look like hell,” Deryke says.

I close my eyes, sighing heavily. “Nason found Lie and I kissing on the beach the other night.” Deryke cringes away and I nod, laughing without humor. “Yep. He’s not taking it well.”

“What will you do?”

“What I keep telling Lie is that we need to give him time to sit with this information until he calms down and lets us explain.”

“And what aren’t you telling Lie?”

“That I don’t know if we’re going to get to that point. It’s been only a few days, and I know it’s premature to determine, but I’ve known Nason for thirty years, Deryke. I know him. If he’s so angry that he won’t talk to Lie…” I shake my head.

“They have a special relationship,” Deryke notes. “You’ve always said.”

“Yes. Exactly. The thing is, I knew he was going to be angry. That’s why I’ve been content to sneak around the way we’ve been because I…

I guess I’ve been na?ve in thinking that I’ll come up with some magic solution in which Nason will be understanding and supportive.

But now that I’m faced with the truth, I know I’ve been content with secrecy because I always knew this was going to get ugly.

What I didn’t know was that Nason would treat his son like shit.

I couldn’t have predicted that. I didn’t think there was anything Lie could do that would make Nason treat him like he is. ”

“That’s shitty.”

I rub a hand over my face. “It is. But I’m left with the same problem—I don’t know what to do about it.

I won’t stop seeing Lie. I love him in a way that I’ve never experienced loving someone.

And you know what? Even if we do what Nason demands and stop seeing each other, nothing will go back to how it had been, so I’d lose my best friend and the only person I’ve ever loved with my entire soul. ”

“That’s not an option.”

I shake my head. “I have to believe that time will make Nason… calmer. More open to listening to us.”

“Will him listening help?”

“Oh no. Not at all. But I’ve seen the hint of a very ugly confrontation coming, and I’m hoping to avoid it. This anger and hurt and betrayal and whatever else he’s feeling is going to end up with him saying some things that he knows are untrue, but he’s too upset to curb his mouth.”

“It’s shitty when people say things just to hurt someone else when they’re angry,” Deryke says.

“It is. But you know, I’m not even mad about him being angry. He has that right. He’s not wrong about some things. We lied to him. We snuck around behind his back. Yes, I crossed a very thick line in the sand when I touched his son. He has every right to be angry with me.”

Deryke nods. “It takes a bigger person to listen to a lifelong friend when they’re angry.”

“Nason isn’t concerned with being a bigger person right now. My Nason isn’t even home.”

“What will you do?”

I shake my head and close my eyes. “Make sure Lie has the support he needs. Comfort him as best I can. Make sure he knows how much I love him.” I shake my head again. “What else can I do?”

“You love him.”

My eyes open, and I’m staring into the clear sky. I’m not sure I’ve said those words out loud prior to this conversation. I’m not sure I’ve even truly acknowledged them in my head before more than, you know, in passing. Like an inevitability. Something that we don’t call attention to. Until now.

“Yeah.”

“I am a firm believer that everything will work out how it was meant to,” Deryke says. “Even if all the pucks do not line up in a perfect row. You win and you lose, but at the end of the day, you will have the future that you were always meant to.”

“I understand that isn’t supposed to sound dooming, but I feel a chill,” I deadpan.

He grins. “You are a good person, Laiken. I do not believe you have doom in your future. Even if some of your pucks are way out of place and in the wrong zone.”

I snort. “Good to know.”

“I will also say that I may understand that Nason is upset, and yes, perhaps he should be. But it’s the mark of a really shitty person to say some mean things to hurt the other person just because they’re upset.

If he does not understand that this has nothing to do with him and isn’t a direct attack on him, I would seriously question his character. ”

I nod. He isn’t wrong. I’ve been thinking this in a roundabout way for the past few days. This isn’t the Nason I’ve always known. Not the man I’ve loved as my best friend, closer than a sibling, for three-quarters of my life.

I don’t know this man, and quite frankly, I don’t want to know this man. Even if he forgives me, I’m not sure I can forgive him for the shit he accused me of. That’s just bullshit, and we both know it.