Page 43 of The Shift Between Us (Covewood #2)

Chapter Twenty-One

Luke

T he truth slips from my lips so quickly, and now all I can do is stare at Olivia as I wait for her to reply. She stiffens, her gaze trained on her lap. I want to admit everything to her, to discuss what really happened in the past, so I can reassure her that we’ll be okay.

However, I need to take this slow. I need to ease into that conversation so it doesn’t send her running away from me. Whatever this is becoming, I want to protect it.

“I’m in love with you too,” she finally says, and I exhale with relief.

For a second, I can’t move. The words hit me harder than I expected.

Olivia loves me . Not just as a friend. The truth settles in my chest, feeling almost too big to hold.

I want to reach for her, to say a thousand things at once, but she’s still watching me like she’s not sure what happens next. Like this could still fall apart.

“Everything is going to be okay,” I promise.

She smiles up at me, dipping her chin in a nod, but I can tell that she’s holding something back. As I watch twin splotches of pink appear in her cheeks, her eyes darting away from mine, I decide to not press it.

Olivia’s lips are still swollen from the kiss, her breathing a little uneven, her body still trying to catch up, except for her eyes, which are somewhere else, not in this moment.

I see how her shoulders become tense, the way she forces a breath and tries to make it sound natural, as if she’s trying to appear like everything is fine, but I know her.

I’ve known her long enough to recognize when she’s internally panicking.

The worst part is that she’s scared of what comes next. I want to reassure her and say something that’ll make this better, but I’m scared to push too hard. I pray that she believes me when I say that everything will be okay—even if I’m terrified of the same things as her.

During the rest of the ride, I don’t reach for her hand, and she doesn’t reach for mine.

The carriage comes to a stop in front of Nonni’s house, and Ivan hops down to come help both me and Olivia down.

Before shaking his hand goodbye, I slip him a tip and wish him a happy holiday before we’re standing on the sidewalk together, watching him disappear into the night.

“Should we move Bernie again?” I ask, hoping for more alone time with Olivia before we enter my family’s chaos inside the house.

She nods and follows me over to where our snowman friend sits. Together, we push him a few feet to the left until we’re satisfied with his new spot. We both take a step back to admire our work as the first hints of snow begin to pour from the sky.

We’re quiet as we stare out at the falling snow. The front yard is lit up from the Christmas lights on the house and the light post that sits on the sidewalk, illuminating the diamond-like sparkles of each snowflake.

“Snow falling is always so beautiful,” she says.

I look down at Olivia, a small smile tugging at her pink lips as she studies the snow in amazement .

“So are you.” The truth escapes me, but this time I don’t avert my gaze or try to hide my true feelings. I can let them out in the open, and there’s something freeing about that.

I take her hands into mine as she turns to look at me. I watch in awe as snowflakes fall around us, a few landing in Olivia’s hair, some kissing her cheek.

“You know what would make this moment even more magical?” My voice sounds gruff, as I’m not able to stop myself.

She holds my gaze for a moment, everything else around us becoming a haze as I focus on her. Only her.

“What’s that?” she whispers, her hands letting go of mine so that they can find their place on my chest.

“If you’ll let me kiss you again.” Tension fills the air until I’m restless with it. I run a hand through her hair, my other cupping her cheek. I'm scared that this is pushing things with Olivia, but now that I’ve kissed her, I want more.

Her eyes flutter closed, her lips part, and she leans into me. It’s all the encouragement I need to no longer hold myself back. I pull her close until our lips are fused together. She fists her hands into the collar of my coat, erasing the last bit of space between us.

I let myself imagine that Olivia has been harboring the same type of attraction to me for all these years like I have been for her.

That maybe, all this time, we’ve been holding ourselves back for the right moment, and the right moment is now.

I wasn’t prepared for this—to have the press of her curves against me and to taste her lips again.

I never could have imagined how amazing this would feel.

She can be mine. If she’ll allow that, after I explain everything to her.

That thought alone is enough to sober me up, but she’s leading this kiss, and I gladly shut all the doubt and guilt from my mind. Some of the tension that has been weighing down my shoulders for the last eleven years dissipates with her kiss.

I pull away this time, trying not to react to the sound of her gasp as she tries to catch her breath.

The delicate skin on her chin is red from the friction of the stubble on my jaw, as if my body was claiming her as much as my heart.

Her eyelids flutter, long strawberry-blonde lashes fan against her cheeks, and then she opens her eyes, gaze landing on mine, lips curling into a soft smile.

“That was quite magical,” she says breathlessly as her hands slide up my chest, landing onto the base of my skull.

A laugh jumps out of me, and her expression softens with the sound. “Told you so.”

She leans toward me, placing her head onto my chest, and then quickly stiffens as she says, “Your family is watching us through the windows.”

I twist my head until I can catch a glimpse of my Aunt Andy, Cousin Dani, and Nonni all staring at us, but they quickly bolt once they see us looking at them. They must have gotten home before us. I shake my head, rubbing my hands up and down her spine.

“They don’t know anything about personal space.”

“They really don’t,” she agrees and removes herself from my grasp. I want to groan in protest, because finally having her in my arms feels like I had been holding my breath for years and can finally let it out. She slides her hand into mine and leads us into a walk as we approach the front door.

As soon as we enter the house, we see the three nosy women pretending to study a Christmas tree.

“This light needs to be replaced.”

“I don’t think I’ve noticed this ornament before.”

I roll my eyes. “You can quit the act. We saw you watching us making out.”

Nonni’s face grows red with embarrassment, and then she nudges Aunt Andy in the ribs. “It was her fault.”

“Was not. You’re the one?—”

“I wish someone would kiss me with as much passion as the two of you have,” Dani admits, wiggling her brows, making everyone feel uncomfortable.

There’s a cough that grabs our attention. The five of us spin around until we catch the sight of my dad sitting before us in his wheelchair. “Just so you know, I wasn’t watching,” he says, holding his hands up in surrender.

Everyone in the room chuckles at his comment. Everyone but me. The sound of his voice causes every muscle in my body to stiffen. I hate how much power he still has over me. Even if he’s sick, it doesn’t erase the damage he’s caused.

“Uh, Luke?” He says my name like a question, and I clench and unclench my fist over and over again as I wait for him to continue. “Could we maybe talk now?”

I drag in a breath that feels too big for my chest. I know that I was the one who said we could talk later, and now it’s later, but I’m still not sure if I am ready for this.

I can feel the slight tremble in my hands.

This time, it’s not fear. It’s the ache of everything he never said—everything he wants to tell me now.

And I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for it.

Everyone’s eyes are on me in the room. Even God’s.

I know that God is giving me free will here.

He’s allowing me to make my own choices.

Most days, I appreciate this, but in times like now, I wish He’d make the choice for me.

I wish He’d lead this whole conversation with my father, but He wants me to lean on faith here. Not on my pain.

My throat is tightening, and I clear it before answering him, “Yeah. Sure.”

He gives me a wave to follow him, but before I can, Nonni lays a hand on my arm to stop me. “Why don’t you go wait for Luke in the sunroom? I think some tea would help make you both feel more comfortable, and I need his help to make it.”

My dad’s face sulks for a second, but he gives her a nod before his nurse wheels him off. I watch him leave, my eyes taking in every family member that’s sitting in the living room, studying us. Uncle Leo gives me a nod right before I return my attention to Olivia.

“You got this,” she whispers to me as she wraps me into a hug.

“I don’t. But God does,” I whisper back, giving her a small squeeze before she backs away, a small smile tugging on her lips.

Everyone finds their way deeper into the living room, and I follow Nonni into the kitchen.

I lean against one of the counters as she glides through the kitchen, pulling out a few things to make the tea.

I cross my arms and wait patiently until she finally turns to hand me something.

I take the small white rectangle from her, turn it over, and see that it’s a photograph of my dad and me.

I look to have been about thirteen years old in this picture.

Dad and I are sitting on the front porch of his old house, his arm is slung around my shoulder, and I’m leaning as far away from him as I can.

He’s smiling in the photo, his dark hair slicked back, and to an outsider he might have looked happy.

Except for his eyes. His eyes were the same dark, almost black color. They held a certain lifelessness to them, but I notice that I don’t see his eyes as cold, deathly pits anymore.