Page 14 of The Shift Between Us (Covewood #2)

He laughs softly, but it’s not a happy sound.

It’s disbelieving. There is a barely noticeable strain in his smile that tells me he’s struggling on the inside but is trying to keep it together around me.

How do I show him that it’s safe for him to let go with me?

I’m not afraid of whatever darkness lies within him.

He doesn’t ever have to face it alone, because I’ll face it with him.

“I told him to never call back before I hung up and blocked his number.”

“That’s good, right?” I watch him closely.

“It was until my grandmother called and told me that he has kidney cancer. He’s on hospice, and she’s not sure how much longer he has left.”

My stomach hollows out as his words hit me.

I can feel a slight tremble in my lips, so I bring a hand to my mouth, not hiding my shock from the news, because no matter how awful that man is, I would never wish cancer on him.

I might wish for sudden diarrhea to hit him while he’s stuck in traffic with frequent sneezes, but never death.

“Luke, I’m sorry,” I whisper.

Luke’s face contorts with the hatred I despise seeing on him. “I’m not. Sounds like he got what was coming to him.” He huffs, and Buttercream stiffens in his grasp like he can sense Luke’s change of mood.

“I don’t think it’s good to wish death upon anyone—even someone as awful as your dad.”

He snorts. “I have a right to feel the way that I do.”

Luke goes to stand up, but I reach out a hand and stop him. “Don’t,” I protest, my voice wobbling a bit.

He freezes at my touch, his dark eyes blazing into mine. There is a storm brewing behind his stare, and I wish I could take it all away.

Luke and I were raised completely different.

I have parents who love each other and treat me and my siblings well.

We’re all really close. Witnessing the hardships for Luke and Raine, even Ryland and Zane, and everything they’ve had to experience with their own parents, has always made me feel lost in how to help them.

No matter what I try to do, I’ve never been in that situation, so I’ll never fully understand how Luke is feeling right now.

I still want to help because it’s in my nature. It’s what I do. I’ll always love Luke, even when he doesn’t think he deserves that sort of adoration.

“Please don’t shut down and walk away. We can work through this together.” I suck in a breath, hoping it’ll help keep me steady as I continue, “Let me be here for you.”

Luke’s eyes soften as he relaxes. He nods, bringing Buttercream closer to him and giving his orange-and-white fur a soft stroke. “It’s hard,” he admits, pain lacing each word.

I reach out and go to hold his hand, but Buttercream hisses at me.

Luke’s laugh rumbles from his chest. It’s the kind of achingly familiar laugh that’s almost nostalgic, like the taste of your grandparent’s cookies or the scent of your childhood home.

I want to keep this feeling and somehow radiate it toward Luke.

He shifts Buttercream into his right arm so he can reach out and hold my hand. He gives mine a small squeeze, a silent invitation to let me in, and I can’t fight against the grin it gives me or the butterflies that take flight in my stomach.

“My grandmother moved her Christmas thing to next weekend so the whole family can come and say their goodbyes. I just…”

I bite my lip, holding onto my breath, and wait for him to finish what he needs to say. I give his hand a squeeze, letting him know I’m a safe place, and I ignore the effect that holding his hand longer than three seconds has on me.

“I don’t know if I want to go. I’m not sure I can.”

I nod, assuring him that I understand, before I give him my two cents. “That’s understandable, Luke.”

“I feel a ‘but’ coming.”

“ And your feelings are valid,” I say instead because there is a ‘but’ I need to say.

“You sound like my therapist.” He snickers, a small grin tugging his lips.

“ But… I think your grandmother is right. Even though this is the last thing you want to do and it would be extremely hard?—”

“Way to encourage me, Liv.”

“Let me finish!” I yell playfully and swat at his arm, earning a hiss from Buttercream.

“Buttercream doesn’t like when you hit his daddy.”

A smile bursts across my lips as I pull free of him.

He softens at the sight, like my smile is the medicine he desperately needs.

He smiles back, so bright and beautiful that I have to remind myself to breathe.

His dimples blink back to life in his cheeks as his thumb rubs once against the inside of my elbow—an aimless, unthinking touch.

“Quit it.” I swat at him, which earns me his smirk. “Let me finish.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He salutes me, keeping his hand in his lap this time.

It’s for the best, but a piece of me misses the warmth his touch brings, but I shut the thought down before it can go anywhere.

I’ve learned my lesson. Warmth with Luke is fleeting.

One kiss, one promise he never kept, and I’ve spent years pretending it didn’t matter and that we’re better off just friends .

“This could be good for you. It’s an opportunity for you to heal from the past and finally move on.” He removes his gaze from mine, returning it to the floor, and the words rush through my lips as I add, “And I want to come with you.”

Luke opens his mouth, likely ready to argue, but he's interrupted by the sharp ring of his phone.

He pulls it from his pocket, and I catch a glimpse of the screen to see the police station calling.

With a quick motion, he raises a finger to silence me before gently setting Buttercream down on the couch.

The little cat stares at me with wide, unblinking yellow eyes for a moment before darting off toward my bedroom, her paws padding softly against the floor.

“Beckett,” he answers while walking into the kitchen.

I pretend I’m not eavesdropping by checking my phone.

Anytime he gets calls like this, nervousness finds its way into the pit of my stomach.

All my senses seem to heighten as I pay attention.

I hear Luke pacing the floors as a loud exhale escapes from him before he halts in place.

Acting on my reflexes, I turn to check on him as Luke nods his head at the voice on the phone.

“I’ll be right there.” He hangs up, braces himself on the counter, then runs a hand through his dark hair.

“What’s going on?” I ask before nibbling on my lower lip.

Luke blinks a few times, almost lost in thought, before looking over at me. He’s quiet for a moment, allowing whatever he heard to sink in for a second. He clears his throat before he says, “I’m not sure, but I need to get back to the station.”

I hate the fear and worry that comes with his job.

Since Luke has joined the Covewood Police Force, he’s helped remove most of the corrupt cops and government officials in our county.

He’s also been able to bust a lot of the criminals, sending most to jail or running some out of town, including his father.

Covewood has been a much safer and happier place with Officer Beckett. He’s a local hero.

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to go into the station for a bit, and then I’ll let you know when I make it back home.”

“Promise?”

He gives me a nod. “I promise.”

He collects his things and rushes out the door but not before he gives me his usual, tender hug, fingers splayed across my back like a blanket. He squeezes once, and then he's gone.