Page 16 of The Shift Between Us (Covewood #2)

I watch them for a second as they go back and forth about the topic, and I know with every fiber of my being that I would do anything to receive the smile she gives Zane.

Have I ever made her smile like that?

Maybe they should date. Surely I could survive that and be okay with it. She leans into him, placing her head onto his shoulder as her body shakes from laughter, and my fists clench involuntarily. Okay, maybe I wouldn't survive it.

“Everything okay?” Raine asks me, giving my ribs a nudge with her elbow. I turn to her as she points to my face. “Your face says you’re not.”

I shrug. “It’s been a long week,” I reply and shove another bite of food into my mouth.

“Those are not classics. Your taste in music worries me,” Ryland says jokingly, shaking his head in disappointment.

This leads to a long discussion that I tune out as I finish my meal. We end the night with ice cream and a few rounds of UNO until Annabelle dozes off in Raine’s arms. Ryland stands and goes to pick Annabelle up, but Zane stops him.

“I can take her home if you’d like. She can spend the night with me. I have the extra booster seat still in my truck.”

“Are you sure?” Ryland asks.

“Yes,” Zane says before taking Annabelle into his arms.

“Alright. Thanks.” Ryland gives his brother a nod of appreciation.

“Thank you for dinner. I’ll see y'all later.” Zane gives us a wave as he looks down at Olivia to give her a small wink before walking toward the front door.

There is a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach.

I shouldn’t feel this way. Zane has always been a loyal friend and good to Olivia.

I should want her to end up with a guy like him.

Someone who’d make her laugh all the time and keep her smiling like she has this evening. She’s not mine to get jealous over.

I sigh in relief once we hear Zane’s truck making its way down the driveway.

Raine shouts out “Uno!” for the third time, because she always seems to win, but I also never try really hard at this game.

It's not technical enough to keep me distracted. I even put down the wrong color at one point because I wasn’t paying attention.

Raine perks up, and she asks, “Do you all have any special plans?”

“Plans for what?” I ask .

“For Christmas,” Raine replies.

Olivia looks at me for a second before adding, “Luke and I are going to his grandmother’s Christmas next weekend.”

My body freezes at her words.

“Oh. You're going together?” Raine pauses, and even though I’m squeezing my eyes shut, I sense that she’s staring at me. “I thought she usually schedules that during the weekend around Christmas?”

Olivia’s eyes widen once she puts two and two together. “You didn’t tell her yet?” Olivia scolds me.

“Tell me what?” Raine questions, sitting up straighter in her seat.

I exhale, running a hand down my face a second time. “My dad has cancer. He’s on hospice at my grandmother's. She wanted to move up the Christmas thing so the family could be with him.”

I hadn’t wanted to bring it up to anyone, so no, I did not tell her yet.

I try to read Raine’s expression, but she’s focused on Ryland.

His eyes dance over her face, searching for the same answers I’d like to know.

Because if anyone can relate to how I’m feeling right now, it would be her.

And maybe it’s good that this was brought up, because I’ll finally have someone to take my side in this.

“Davis has cancer?” Her usually bright eyes flicker to mine.

I nod, swallowing back the bile rising in my throat, and look down at the table. “Yeah.”

“And you want to go see him?” Raine’s voice is laced with disbelief. Ryland, Raine, and Olivia all shift in their seats to study me.

“No, I don’t want to, but everyone else seems to think it’s the only option for me. I’d like to know what you think I should do.”

Come on, Raine. Have my back here. Help me explain to Olivia why I shouldn’t go.

“It’s not about what I think you should do but what you think you should do. I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now, and I don’t blame you for wanting to avoid him. If it were me a few months ago, I’d want to avoid him too.”

“What about now?” I ask.

Raine sucks in a breath, blinking a few times before focusing her gaze intently on mine.

“Running away from my problems for ten years taught me a valuable lesson. When you avoid your pain, you’ll never be able to heal.

After learning that, I think I’d go so I could finally move on from the hurt that he’s caused. That's what I would do.”

“You’re telling me that you’d go see Davis on his deathbed? Even forgive him for all the evil things he’s done, when we both know he doesn’t deserve it?” I shake my head as an odd twinge of disappointment pierces my chest.

I look over at Ryland, who’s watching Raine, his arm wrapped around her shoulder as he pulls her in closer.

Ryland saw firsthand how controlling and hurtful my dad was.

His own father treated him and Zane in a similar manner before his mother took action and removed them from the situation when they were young. Surely he’d back me up.

“You deserve to heal from this,” Ryland adds, his brows furrowing as he gives me a knowing look.

Raine returns her attention to me as she continues.

“Does he deserve our forgiveness? No. He doesn’t, Luke, nor will I ever be able to forget the anguish he inflicted on us both. I’ve been fighting with myself for quite some time to let the pain go. I’m still working on it. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

She exhales a shaky breath, reaching out to hold my hand, giving it a squeeze, and I turn to face her.

“Luke, forgiveness isn’t always for the person who’s in the wrong.

It can be for us. It’s freeing. Since I've forgiven my mom, the weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Look at us now. We have a good relationship—something I never thought would ever be possible. ”

“I don’t want a relationship with him.” I press my lips together tightly.

“And by the way it sounds, there isn’t time for one,” Olivia adds.

“I’m on your side here,” Raine adds, her gray-blue eyes shining with tears. “Wouldn’t it be worth it to try to be able to let this go?”

“Raine, do you want to go with Luke instead? If he decides to go,” Olivia asks. I twist in my seat until I can see her. She looks at me and blinks, worry coloring her delicate features.

“I’m sorry, I have to work.” Raine exhales with a frown.

“You’re self-employed. Couldn’t you move things around?” I ask.

“Right before Christmas? There’s no way I can do that, especially at the last minute.”

We stare at each other for a long moment until Raine slumps into her seat, looking defeated.

There is something about seeing her look so small, cowering into herself like she used to do when we were kids, and I realize then that I need to do this.

Not just for me or for Davis, but for Raine and everyone I love too.

As I look at the three faces around me, something shifts inside me. A sudden clarity washes over me, as if God is showing me the truth of the situation, not the version I’ve been clinging to. I finally give in to everyone’s advice and make up my mind.

“It’s okay. Olivia is coming with me.”

I glance over at her as she moves closer beside me, leaning her head against my shoulder. The warmth of her presence settles me, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel a sense of peace.