Page 18 of The Shift Between Us (Covewood #2)

I remind myself that whatever I’m dealing with is nothing compared to what Wren has been through.

She thought she’d found her forever person, only for him to ask for a divorce just two years into their marriage, claiming they moved too fast, that he wasn’t in love with her anymore.

I can’t begin to imagine how that kind of rejection must feel.

She must see the concern on my face, because before I even open my mouth to ask if she's doing alright, she abruptly says, “You shouldn’t give up on love just because of some bad dates.”

Her words catch me off guard. If anyone has a reason to give up on love, it’s Wren. And yet, for a split second, I let what she said sink in and find myself respecting my sister even more.

“Lots and lots of bad dates,” I add, earning a grin from her.

“You just haven't found the right guy,” she says, her eyes roaming around the bar until they stop, and she smirks. “What about Luke?”

My heart pounds as soon as the question leaves her lips.

I follow her line of sight until I spot Luke chatting with some of his co-workers.

He laughs before our gazes lock, sending a bolt of awareness down my spine, making my palms begin to sweat with the rise in my blood pressure.

And then I feel it, a tiny fluttering in the pit of my stomach as I realize that he somehow always senses when I’m looking at him.

I try to ignore the fact that he’s given me butterflies twice within the last week and return my attention to Wren. “He’s my best friend.”

“Yes, he is, but he could also be?—”

“We can’t, Wren. And you know why,” I cut her off, squeezing my hands together—a nervous tic of mine—as I’m reminded of what happened after Luke didn’t show up on our graduation night and how much work we had to put into rebuilding our friendship after that.

My heart feels like it drops to the floor. There it is, the familiar looming sense of dread that comes with having your heart completely shattered, reminding me that if I’m not careful, it'll happen again. And I can’t let that happen again.

Luke’s friendship means everything to me.

I refuse to put us in jeopardy again, even though the idea of us being more is always taunting me in the back of my mind.

Luke is more than just my best friend. He’s homemade cinnamon rolls on weekend mornings.

He’s late-night rounds of Mario Kart and reruns of Brooklyn Nine-Nine .

He’s always there when I need someone to comfort me.

He’s my person. My perfectly platonic person.

“I do. Which is why I’m asking. What happened back then was a long time ago. You need to let that go, because it could be holding you back from something like they have.” She points her chin toward our parents.

"It’s more complicated than that," I say, my voice quieter than I intended. "And I just... I don’t want to talk about it anymore." I wave her off, clearly deflecting, because I can’t bring myself to dig into that mess right now.

My stomach twists for an entirely different reason. I’ve tried to avoid romantic thoughts of any kind when it comes to Luke, burying them deep to rot away before they can be exposed. No matter how hard I try to deny them, somehow they're always there.

“But what if it wouldn’t be complicated now? Stop telling yourself all the reasons why it wouldn’t work out, and start thinking about the one reason why it could.”

Keeping my focus on her, I let her words swirl through my brain until a tiny pinch happens in my chest, like the box of feelings I have for Luke is being dug up and reopened.

Instead of following my instincts of avoiding these feelings, I actually mull over them, just for a second, before I bury them back where they belong.

“Can’t you see how he lights up when you're around?”

“Wren, stop?—”

“The best kind of relationship is when you can act like lovers and best friends at the same time. You can have both.”

“But I don’t want to lose him. I can’t.”

Even the idea of him walking away from me again sends a quiver to my lips. When Luke didn’t show up for me, it broke something inside of me. I’m not sure I could ever take a chance on our friendship again.

Wren reaches over and hugs me, her long nails rubbing up and down my arm. We stay like that for a while, our silence speaking more than words could ever say. Our moment is ruined by a bright flashing light in front of our faces.

We blink a few times, trying to regain our sight, barely making out the two bodies standing in front of us. “Oh, Eric, look at our sweet girls,” Mom squeals, showing him the photo she took on her phone .

“Gosh, Mom. Give us a warning next time you try to blind us,” Wren grumbles, rubbing her eyes.

“It was such a sweet moment. I wanted to capture it forever.”

“Everything okay?” Dad asks us, always the perceptive parent. Growing up, Jaxson, Wren, and I never got away with anything. He somehow always knew what we were plotting—sometimes even as we were just thinking about it.

“Yeah. Everything is peachy,” I tell him as movement from behind him catches my eye.

“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Grey.” Luke’s deep voice sends a ripple of awareness through me.

“Hey, Luke! Good job on the trivia tonight,” Dad says, giving him an easy smile.

“Thanks. Nice dance moves.”

Mom blushes and leans into Dad, who wraps his arms around her. “Thirty-five years and this man still knows how to bust a move.”

“The night is still young. How about we grab some dessert?” Dad announces, giving us a wave. “Be safe on your trip next weekend, in case we don’t see y'all before then. I hope you’re able to enjoy your time with your family.”

Luke nods in return, taking the seat next to me, his shoulder bumping into mine, as the three of us are left to say goodbye.

Once my parents are out the door, Luke gives me a small smile before he looks around the room.

Wren looks at me and mouths, ‘I’m right about this,’ before she announces that she’s going to say hi to Zane, who's standing a few tables away.

“So, you told your parents.” His gaze returns to mine.

“Of course. I didn’t want them to look at our Life 360 app and randomly see me floating from Kentucky to Indiana without knowing why.”

There’s an awkward silence as Luke and I stare at the few people dancing to a song from the 80’s. Why did Wren have to put those thoughts into my head, making things feel awkward between Luke and me? Maybe it’s just me, though.

I turn and look at Luke, who catches my movement and looks back at me. I smile. He smiles back. And then... I just sit there, staring at him. What is this?

I stretch my arms overhead, trying to shake the weird energy buzzing beneath my skin. "So."

He mirrors me, his smile curling into a knowing smirk. "So." His gaze sharpens. "Something’s off with you."

I let out a huff. "You have no idea."

He bumps his shoulder into mine, but I’m not even sure how to explain it. This restless, sinking feeling has been clawing at me for a while now. Maybe it’s the manic obsession with finding my person or the carousel of lackluster dates that never seem to go anywhere. I want someone to just...stick.

The words leave my mouth before I can second-guess them. "Ever since things ended badly with Adam, I’ve felt a little lost."

Luke’s smile vanishes at the mention of my ex-boyfriend.

"They ended badly because you finally stood up for yourself and did what was right for you." His voice is steady, as if it’s the simplest truth in the world.

Adam was my longest relationship, lasting all of a year and a half.

For most of our relationship, I made excuses and justified his negative behavior by convincing myself that he would get better, that he just needed time to settle into a comfortable rhythm with me.

I had thought that maybe I just needed to spend more time with him, and eventually he’d get used to my high energy and constant need for affection.

As our time grew together, it appeared that I was losing the pieces of myself I had given to him. He didn’t prioritize me or our relationship. He was more committed to his job, his family, and his friends than he was to me.

It hurt, because I thought if we had lasted, maybe eventually he would become the one. I put so much effort into an us that was never attainable. It took me way too long to see that I had just thrown away a part of my life that I'd never get back.

It was a year after we broke up before I even thought about dating again. Ever since, each time that I take a chance on a date, it ends in disaster. I gave too much of myself to someone who didn’t deserve it, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten those pieces back.

Lately, I’ve started wondering if this is just how it’s going to be for me. That maybe real love isn’t something I get to have, and heartbreak will become my version of normal.

I keep looking for my worth in relationships, chasing something that feels just out of reach, because there’s an internal clock ticking louder and louder, telling me I’m running out of time.

“Liv,” Luke sighs. The way he says my nickname feels like two hands are curling around my shoulders and giving them a shake. It’s enough to grab my attention away from my spiraling thoughts. “Whatever you’re telling yourself inside your head, don’t listen.”

My chest aches right in the center. I place my hand against the spot and rub. I wish it were easy for me, to turn off my thoughts or reroute them into something more positive. I used to be able to do that, but not so much anymore.

“You always know what I’m thinking, don’t you?”

Luke’s lips part, and I watch them, waiting for his response, but then we are interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Olivia!” Jessee, one of my friends, shouts as she runs up to our table and takes my hand into hers. “I asked them to play our song. Come dance with me.”

“I’m not really in the—” I start to say, but she’s already tugging me to stand.