Page 42 of The Shift Between Us (Covewood #2)

“These aren’t even the best ones. Want to get on one of the carriages? They take us through the rest of the neighborhood and can drop us off at Nonni’s house,” Luke suggests as he dumps our empty bowls into a nearby trash can.

“Now that’s an idea of yours that I can agree with,” I admit as a burst of wind brushes past us, and I rub my hands up and down my arms to try to warm myself. Luke’s smile drops before he shimmies off his jacket. “No, you don’t have to give up your jacket.”

“I’ll be fine. Take it, please.”

“Luke—” I try to protest, but he’s already wrapping me up in his jacket, and I practically melt into its warmth. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome. Now follow me.”

He leads me to one of the waiting white carriages that’s parked across the street.

I admire the beautiful golden swirls engraved on the wood and the jingle bells that decorate the bright-red ropes.

To top it off, the carriage is pulled by a gorgeous brown-and-white Clydesdale horse, and its long brown mane is braided and hanging down its right side.

“Hi there,” I say to the horse, marveling at just how large the animal is. “What’s your name?”

“Her name is Elsa. One of the best horses I own,” a man says, hopping down from the front of the carriage and reaching a hand out toward us. “I’m Ivan, and I’ll be your coachman this evening.”

Ivan shakes our hands with a smile, revealing a set of bright-white teeth underneath a gray mustache, a slight twinkle in his eye as he looks back and forth between us.

He shows us where the steps are and helps me onto the platform first as Luke follows behind me.

Ivan moves toward a box that sits across from us and grabs a blanket, handing it to me.

“In case you all get cold and want to snuggle,” he says, and I take the incredibly soft red blanket from him. “Where are you all headed?”

Luke gives him the address and helps spread the blanket around our waists and legs.

Ivan nods, reaching into the box once more and pulling out a container of homemade fudge that he encourages us to help ourselves to.

He turns on some relaxing Christmas music from a small speaker before hopping onto the front of the carriage and giving the ropes a shake, causing the sound of jingles to fill the air.

“Don’t mind me. I’m going to plug in my headphones and finish a book I’ve been listening to. That way, you two can have some privacy.” As he finishes, he places two earbuds into his ears and leaves Luke and me to ourselves.

Luke lifts an arm, but before he wraps it around my shoulder, he asks, “Is this okay?”

I give him a nod and snuggle closer to him as his hand grips my shoulder. We make a few comments on some light displays as the carriage rolls us down the street, and I gradually find myself sinking closer into his side.

We’re sitting so close now that Luke’s gloved hand is rubbing up and down my shoulder, leaving a trail of goosebumps hidden underneath my many layers. My heart is squeezing, waiting for the moment that I’ll finally let it open up to Luke.

Liquid heat pulses through my veins, making me hot despite the chilly air. I remove myself from his embrace to take off his jacket and hand it back to him. A deep flush begins to work its way up my chest and settles into my cheeks as I admit, “This blanket gets the job done.”

He hums, looking a bit distracted as he slips his jacket back on and keeps his eyes on the passing scenery around us.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Something is on your mind. What is it?”

“You won’t let this go, will you?” He chuckles as I shake my head no. “Well, you said something a few days ago, and it has been bothering me ever since.”

“What is it?” I ask .

His brows furrow together as he presses his lips into a tight line. “You said you felt like you’re too much. I can’t figure out what on earth could make you feel this way.”

He watches me closely, his gaze trying to figure out the answer before I say it out loud. I shrug my shoulders, listening to the tune of “Silent Night” on the speakers for a moment.

“I mean, you can't deny that I’m not. I’m overly passionate.

I don’t back down from a fight or let things go.

I’m full of energy all the time, and sometimes it’s too much.

” I inhale a breath of cold air, hoping it’ll cool me off, as I continue my answer.

“I guess I didn’t really feel that way about myself until I dated Adam. ”

Luke practically snarls at the mention of my ex-boyfriend's name.

“I should have known he was the one to put lies into your head.”

“Well, I kind of asked for it. After we had broken up and he came to get his stuff from my house, I asked him what it was about me that made him stop loving me.”

I can practically feel the tension that settles heavily between us. Luke’s shoulders stiffen, his jaw tight, his anger practically seeping into my skin.

“He told me that I was too much for him to handle. And maybe one day I could find the right man who would love that quality about me, but it wasn’t him. Ever since then, I’ve been trying to discover all the ways that I’m too much for people and try to fix?—”

Luke’s hands find my face, dragging me away from my spiraling thoughts, and I focus all my attention on him.

His gaze lowers, his throat bobbing as he swallows loudly, his mouth tightens, and his nostrils flare.

I’m usually the one who’s fiercely protective over my friends and family, but I see it in him at this moment.

“Liv, you are perfect just the way you are. There is nothing about you that needs fixed. The world is such a dark place, and then there’s you…

someone who brings light everywhere you go.

People are drawn to you because of it. Everyone seeks your light and relishes in it. Including me . Especially me. ”

He pauses, his eyes softening, as he gives me a moment to soak in his words.

“Your passion is admirable. I love that you never back down from a fight. You’ve always been the glue that holds people together. You’re not too much. If anything, the world needs more of you. I’ll always need more of you.”

He reaches up and wipes away the fresh tears that have spilled down my cheeks.

The anxious thoughts constantly floating around my brain continue on, like a vulture that’s flying around a vulnerable animal.

I didn’t realize the true depth of the wound Adam gave to me with his comments.

How broken they left me when he closed my front door and walked out of my life completely.

I had been too much for him. But here’s Luke, saying that he wants more of me.

Adam had said to me that one day I would find the right man who would love me for me.

I thought he was just saying that to make his words sting less, but I realize now that he was right.

I made myself believe that if Adam couldn’t love me, how could anyone else?

If I was too much for him, then I would be that way for everyone.

And maybe I am for some. But I’m not too much for Luke.

“I love everything that makes you you ,” he says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

It hasn’t been fake. Not for me, anyway.

I’ve not been faking either.

Luke’s words cause the storm inside my mind to fall silent. He studies me, his eyes softening, as the tension slowly leaves his body. His face relaxes, and a small smile tugs at his lips, almost like he can read my thoughts.

There’s truth buzzing beneath my skin, and even with my heart pounding in my throat, I know this: I still want him.

I’ve never stopped. And I haven’t felt that kind of certainty in years.

Desire blooms inside my gut as I inhale Luke’s scent and instinctively lick my bottom lip, a blaze of passion surging through me.

Without overthinking it, I move my face closer to Luke’s, slowly closing the distance between us.

He reaches his hand up to cup my face as shivers travel down my neck and chest. Luke has the ability to make time stop with a single touch of his hand.

He closes his eyes, leans forward, and presses his lips to mine.

His lips are soft, gentle even, like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he presses too hard, but I’m still here. I’m not going to pull away.

It’s the kind of kiss that feels like comfort and butterflies all tangled together. This doesn’t feel like our first kiss. That one had been fast, nervous, full of question marks. This one feels like an answer.

His hand finds the side of my face like he’s done it a thousand times, and maybe he has—just never quite like this. I realize I’m not scared anymore. Not of kissing him. Not of what comes after. Because this isn’t a mistake. It doesn’t feel like something that’ll ruin us.

It feels like what we were always meant to come back to.

What starts out as a sweet peck transforms into something hungry, both devouring and consuming. My eyes slip shut, and I kiss him back just as hungrily.

Suddenly, everything goes hazy as we savor this kiss, like the last bite of my chai-and-maple scones or the first sip of freshly brewed coffee from The Groovy Bean. My hands leave his side and slide up into his hair, giving it a small tug.

He groans against my lips, the sound making my head spin. I like it too much, the way he sounds. I want to know what it might sound like against the shell of my ear, the curve of my neck. Kissing Luke is all-consuming and somehow still not enough.

My eyes shoot open as Luke’s mouth leaves mine.

He drags his lips across the slope of my jaw, full of intention that has my toes curling in my boots.

My heart is telling me to enjoy this, to melt into this kiss, but my brain is sending jolts of awareness throughout my body, reminding me that there’s going to be consequences after this kiss.

“Luke,” I mumble, placing a hand onto his chest and gently pulling away from his embrace.

My fears begin to sink in as I realize what I have done. What if this is a mistake? What if I just wrecked everything again?

I remember how it felt last time. The distance. The awkwardness. The way we stopped being us for a while. It took us some time, but eventually, we were able to fix our friendship. What if we can’t fix things again?

I’ve somehow been frozen in the past, holding onto the memory of how everything went wrong last time, afraid to believe that this time could be different, but my heart has been guarding this friendship for so long I’m not sure it knows how to let go.

“I, uh…” I whisper, not even sure what I’m trying to say.

Luke stays quiet as he watches me, his eyes dancing with mine, as if waiting for what I have to say, and somehow, it makes me feel worse, because he’s okay. He’s not spiraling. He doesn’t look like someone who just made a huge mistake.

He looks like someone who knows exactly what he wants.

“This can’t come between us this time. I can’t lose you, Luke.”

Hints of anxiety are trying to take hold of me. I can feel his pulse against my hand that’s pressing onto his chest. It’s racing faster than it should, and for some reason, that helps to settle my anxiety a little, knowing that Luke is affected by this as much as I am.

“I’m not going anywhere, Liv. I’m in love with you.”