Page 8 of The Runaway
Turning away from my reflection, I focused on my shower rather than the horrors behind or in front of me. Reaching to twist the shower knob, a strange sensation rattled up my arm; if I didn’t babysit Lyov, I might be impressed by this hotel. He’d gone many places and threw up in probably every single one, but they were always fancy.
Shaking my head furiously, I wandered out of the bathroom to kneel over my suitcase, but I couldn’t wipe my frown from my face. So many different thoughts threatened to converge together in a volatile maelstrom against my eye sockets. Nothing I owned would reveal any of my scars, but that wasn’t my problem right now.
All daywere the two words I dreaded. I couldn’t just tell Ophelia that my body couldn’t handle simple, everyday activities like sitting for more than 10 minutes, or touch the back of my head.
“I’ll just have to grin and bear it.” My grumble was loud in the otherwise empty, still hotel room, and I gathered up my outfit to sigh. Closing my eyes, I wiggled my toes against the carpet and inhaled a readying breath. “I can do this. Ihaveto do this.”
If I couldn’t firm my resolve, I would never make something of myself here. For so long, I pined for an opportunity like this. All I had to do was power through. I had so many things to do that, surely, this tour around New York City was a one-time deal.Not to mention, Ophelia knows I’m staying, just not why. Which means I don’t have to lie about my English lessons or not wanting to spend time with them.
“Jacob was right— I need a plan.” Last night at the bar flooded my mind’s eye while I arranged my clothes on the bed. Jacob’s sweet smile and dancing gaze flashed behind my eyelids when I blinked, and a small smile of my own tilted my lips. He was nice, and Iwouldcall him… at some point. Hopefully.He doesn’t work today. Maybe I’ll run into him.
Struggling to wash my hair didn’t seem so daunting from that thought. Under the drone of water pounding on tile, a strange sensation bloomed in my chest. Jacob was my secret— the secret being I was certain we’d see each other again somehow. As juvenile as it was, and as stupid as it was to trust a stranger, I just couldn’t help myself. He had a gentleness that a person wasn’t capable of faking.
What if it’s all a setup to spy on Aleksander?That thought nearly stopped my heart, but I shook my head hastily and clenched my jaw hard. Aleksander had said it himself— I was useless, and he wanted me gone. There wasnoway that Carlyle Santino following me around would amount to anything. Aleksander wanted me gone, and my favorable parting conditions were just proof of that. If Carlyle Santino did agree to meet with me for some nefarious reason, he was going to be sorely disappointed.
8
Jacob
“I’m not going out with you anymore, you fucking idiot— I can’t believe you said that like that.” Despite the venom in my words, Caleb and I were currently walking the streets of Manhattan together. Why? Because I had decided to make the long, long trip for the best pizza in the city— and told him I was. Reaching to rub the back of my neck, I paused when my elbow flashed in my peripheral vision.
Last night flashed behind my eyelids when they shuttered, capturing that moment when Joci reached up too high. Lowering my arm, I frowned at the crowded pavement as I wondered… could I go a single day without raising my elbow to my shoulder or higher?
“You’re still mad about that? I don’t get what the big deal is— it was an honest mistake, Jacob!”Why haven’t you apologized for it, then?It wasn’t as if Caleb could apologize to Joci, but he could at least apologize tome. I could never go to that bar again because of him. His dumbass ignorance cut short my time with her, even if it was only by a few minutes. Yet, not a single word out of his mouth portrayed that he thought he did anything wrong.
Under my jacket, I was sweating, and I pulled my fist out of my pocket to check the time. We’d taken the train, and I’d finished my paperwork for the day, but I was in such a rush for some reason. Puffing a thick, white cloud as I stopped outside a crowded crosswalk, I fished out my pack of cigarettes absently.
“If a chick was that into me… I guess I’d be pissed, too, I guess.” Caleb’s tentative grumble drew my gaze to his pinched expression. Sourness stuck my tongue to the roof of my mouth at how uncomfortable he looked while I plucked out a smoke and my lighter. “She was pretty hot, too.”
“… You’re an idiot, Caleb.” Frowning as I sparked up, I took a deep, toxic breath and held it when the crossing light turned green. Shuffling along with all the other people trying to get wherever they were going, I ignored my cousin and tried to forget he was next to me. Exhaling heavily, I watched the smoke rise up to dissolve in the frosty air; as a pack a week smoker— extremely casual— I rarely smoked cigarettes two days in a row.
Yet, I felt like a creep just standing outside the bar with Joci, staring, while she was obviously in pain.
“Did you get her number?” On the sidewalk, I halted mid-step to frown at my cousin. Irritation and quizzicality in equal measure mingled in my blood— how could someone be soignorantof the world? His brows rose, head ducking insistently, and I pulled my cigarette from between my lips to lick them heavily.
“No— I’m not paying 8$ a text message because she’s got a Russian cell phone. Just because she’s in the U.S. doesn’t mean it’s not international, Caleb.” I knewfor a factthat Aunt Jess paid off Caleb’s history teacher in high school to get him to pass— it wasn’t a secret. She constantly lamented that he was going to have to repeat a year. Of course, it wasn’t a stretch of the imagination that Caleb was also pushed through senior year because he was such a damn nuisance, and none of the teachers wanted to deal with him again.The wonders of public education.
Rounding a corner, I spotted the place by the line leading up to it, and a groan of foreboding stuck in my throat. I wished this craving hit me earlier as I positioned myself at the 30-strong string of people. Maybe then, I would’ve been able to make this trip alone, too. Tossing my barely smoked cigarette butt on the sidewalk, I crushed the cheery under my heel to rock back on it.
“Do you have anything to do tomorrow, Jacob? I was thinking of heading up to Connecticut to the casino to blow some of my Christmas bonus.” Surprise rose my brows at Caleb’s offer, and my head snapped down.
“You already got your Christmas Bonus? I don’t get mine until the end of next week.” Caleb’s face twisted in discomfort, and my irritation intensified as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Caleb…”
My cousin turned away from me at my drawl, hiding hid face behind his jacket’s high neck. Suspicion clouded my gaze, but I just shook my head and shuffled along with the line. Caleb was a busser at some restaurant; it wasn’t even one of those really fancy, good ones, either. If I had to guess, I’d say his ‘Christmas bonus’ was just tips he’d swiped from servers over the course of the year.
At least saving it all was a commendable feat, because he wasn’t going to screw me over if anyone found out.And they always find out. That’s why you got laid off from your last job. That’s why I won’t help you find a better job. I don’t want that shit on me.
Caleb always managed to fuck his life up somehow purely by doing shady shit. Most of the time, he just moved on to the next bad idea, and he wasn’tdangerousper say. Watching him try to shirk off the atmosphere, I reached to scratch my jaw with stiff fingers. That was always my problem— he never did anything bad enough to warrant a harsh reaction like being kicked out or cut off.
“Sometimes, I really wish you’d fuck off, move out, and leave me alone, Caleb.” Graveness roughened my tone, and I frowned as my cousin’s head whipped up. His eyes widened, jaw slack as his hair ruffled from shock. At this point, I didn’t care about his feelings anymore, though. “You make enjoying my time alone so fucking difficult, and I want you to disappear from my life. You’re not someone I want to spend any time with. I only let you live with me because Mom and Aunt Jess asked me. You never do anything bad enough to get kicked out, but this skirting the line shit— I’m done with it, Caleb. You have 2 weeks to find a new place as of Monday.”
“No— No, Jacob— if this is about last night, I—” Caleb’s voice got loud and high with panic, drawing attention from around us as he held out his hands pleadingly. “I can’t afford living by myself! Jacob, I’m sorry for being late, and insulting your girlfriend by accident. Come on— please— I’m gunna be homeless.”
“That’s not my problem, Caleb. If youneededme, you should have been a little bit more considerate of what your bullshit puts me through.” I couldn’t pinpoint why, exactly, Caleb having a Christmas bonus was what set me off. Of course, it’s entirely possible that he’d getsomething, but I was supremely suspicious that it’d be enough to partition into a trip to a casino. He opened his mouth, trying to find words, but ultimately clamped his lips shut as his face turned red.
Turning on his heel, Caleb stormed off under the heavy gazes of judgmental strangers, and I sighed hotly through my nose. I was more than capable of sustaining my lifestyle by myself than my cousin. One would think, given the situation, that he’d be a little more outwardly grateful and not actively be a problem.
Being late to almost everything— being an ignorant ass any time the attention wasn’t on him— expecting me to handle something that doesn’t involve me— Caleb pays rent and part of the utilities, so why does he have to do his own dishes? The disrespect! He only used one fork! Why can I not just wash it with my dinner dishes?