Page 28 of The Runaway

“I’m okay. It was worth it.” Unease gripped my gut in a vice, but I simply nodded. There was no point I could make that I hadn’t made at some point already. Glancing at my watch, I only inhaled a sharp breath before she held out forearms in a questioning gesture. “How do I look?”

Scanning her slowly, I stroked my chin and spent a second admiring her— sans trembling, of course. Joci looked good in darker colors, and we’d gotten lucky to find a black pair of khakis that matched her low heels.

“You look really nice, Joci. We should put your hair up— I bet that’d be cute.” She blushed so brightly, and I grinned as happiness erupted like sparklers burning and popping in my chest. “You’re always beautiful in whatever you wear.”

“Yeah…” The fact that Joci couldn’t do something so simple as put her hair into a bun— push it out of her face— was mindboggling. I couldn’t even imagine how restrictive it made her life to be unable to raise her arms past her breasts. And the one time she did, to hug me, her shoulders bruised so terribly. She was in so much pain, and she was being very careful to hide the extent.

“Ready to go?” I shook my head to clear my thoughts, not that they went far, and Joci nodded. “It’s a train ride away, thankfully. I’d be pissed if I had to rent a car or something.”

“Why don’t you have one?” Leaving my bedroom, I shrugged as I reached to scratch my jaw. Caleb stood, waiting, ready to pound the pavement in a casual button down and slacks. He glanced at me warily, his gaze flickering to Joci briefly before turning back to his phone. “There’s not many cars in Russia. Only rich people have them.”

“I don’t have a car because it’s not really needed in a city like New York. I live within walking distance of everything, and it’s two or three train stations to everywhere else. I do have a license, though.” Swiping my keys off the small table by the door, I grabbed Joci’s coat to help her into it as I spoke. She struggled noticeably, but all I could do was grind my teeth and swallow the flames that licked up my throat. “It’s gonna be rough, Joci.”

“I’ll go after. How’s that okay?” Relief lifted some of the tension on my shoulders, and I nodded firmly before grabbing my own coat. Patting the pocket for my wallet, I knew I wouldn’t get better out of her. “You said you have 2 brothers with 2 kids, right? And your sister takes care of your parents?”

“Yeah— two older brothers, an older sister, then me, and then Carl’s the youngest. He should show up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he got high and forgot today was Thanksgiving.” Caleb snorted roughly from his place leaning against the back of the sofa, turning off his phone to gaze at me with a humored expression.

“It’s more like he’ll get high as a kite and come eat all the good stuff and pass out on the floor.” Honestly, it was a 50/50 chance either would happen, but I really hoped Carl missed today. He’d bring his girlfriend, and she was just weird—reallyinto astrology and sells Herbalife, and frankly, she had a really annoying, wispy voice. As happy as I was that Carl was so in love with her, she was riding a constant acid trip and probably hadn’t touched the ground in years.

“So, Jacob— I’ve been—”Holy shit, really?Holding up my hand as I paused with my other palm on the doorknob, I shot Caleb a nasty glare. Irritation spiked in my veins; we hadn’t even left my apartment, and he was trying to bring up my kicking him out? I could hear it in his tone that whatever he was going to say wasn’t good, and Isincerelydidn’t want to listen to it.

“Listen, okay? I— don’t— fucking— care. I don’t want updates. I don’t want anything from you, Caleb. You have ten days to get the fuck out of my apartment, andnothingyou say is going to change that. If you have nowhere to go, that’s not my problem. I’ve been nice about it, Caleb, but we’re done, and you trying to get me to not kick you out is only making me want to cut that ten days to one. Got it?” He paled, his face screwing in anger and upset, but I was beyond my cousin trying to scheme his way back onto my couch. “Good. Now, shut the fuck up about it. I’m going to enjoy today as much as possible, andyouand the shit circumstance you made foryourselfisn’t going to stop me.”

Pulling open the door sharply, I pointed through it, and Caleb sulked his way into the hallway with his head hung low. Rubbing my jaw in agitation, my lips thinned as sourness coated my tongue. I didnotfeel bad for kicking Caleb out, only for being nasty about it. Frankly, I shouldn’t need to constantly reiterate that I was not going to change my mind. Just because we were cousins, or maybe in spite of it, he seemed to be under the impression that I’d give him another chance if enough people pressured me.

But I’d given Caleb chance after chance after chance, and he never once pulled through on the simplest shit.

“That was mean.” Frowning under knit brows as I locked the door, I ground my teeth as Joci cocked her head at me curiously. “Why does he think making you be mean does work?”

“Because I put up with his shit before, so maybe I’d do it again. That’s the stupid part. I gave him chances, and he never took me seriously. Now, he’s freaking out because he’s not actually trying to find a place to go because he hopes I’ll let him stay.” I always had to remind myself that I wasn’t stupid when it came to Caleb; I knew that everything he was doing, from ‘interviewing’ for a bump up at the restaurant he worked to ‘searching’ for apartments, was only theverybare minimum. He’d asked his boss for a chance to be a server, but he didn’t actually plan to follow through. Maybe, he knew his boss would shoot him down, but he asked anyway just to tell me he was trying. “He’d better start talking to Aunt Jess about moving back home. Come next Monday, he’s out.”

“I have to start looking, too.” Wiggling the door handle, curiosity sparked in my chest as I took Joci’s hand to head for the elevator. Her tight grip and clammy palm sent prickles up my arm, but if anyone could fake it, she could. “My boss gives me money to buy a place. I wanted to before he leaves, but my English teacher says it takes time.”

“Maybe, if you were buying a house, it’d take some time, but apartments are usually a lot easier. I’d be more than happy to let you stay at my place if you couldn’t find an apartment before your boss leaves.” Smiling at her as we reached the elevator, I punched the button but knew it’d take a while. Caleb was already gone— he could get to my mom’s house by himself, and I gave him no more thought than that. “Honestly, I think it’s nice that your boss wants to get rid of you so bad. Does that sound bad?”

“No. I don’t want him, anyway. He’s an asshole. He’s worse than Anatoly.”There’s that damned name again. “Aleksander does anything he wants. No one can say ‘no’ to him. That’s worse by a lot.”

“Once he goes back to Russia, you’ll be on your own, though. From everything you’ve said about him, he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to care once a decision has been made. You’ll be here, safe and happy, and he’ll never think of you again. It’s a win-win.” Squeezing Joci’s hand reassuringly, my smile widened when her charcoal-rimmed eyes met mine, glimmering with confidence and happiness and only the slightest shimmer of pain. “I want you to sleep over again without having to ask for permission, first.”

“Me too.” Her cheeks rounded and tinged pink, and I inhaled a deep, stable breath as the elevator doors slid open. Gesturing Joci in first, I couldn’t help but wonder if all this happened because she put on a proper piece of lingerie. Looking good, being around someone that made her feel good, and having something better to look forward to…

After five years of being shit on, did Joci really mean what she said last night, or did she only say it because she felt like a person, not a thing?

29

Joci

“You sure that’ll be enough?” Gulping down the handful of pain pills I’d bought, I lifted my water bottle to my lips with a nod. Jacob pulled a face but didn’t protest, and I sighed as I felt the gel capsules flow down to drop into my stomach. “I’m not going to let you chicken out of going to the hospital tonight, Joci.”

“I know. It’s okay. I can do this.” I tried my damnedest to stop my voice from trembling, but I knew Jacob heard it. He always understood me, and I pushed down the spout on my bottle to smile reassuringly— or how I hoped came across as reassuring. We were a block from his mom’s house, but the only chance I had to back out was when Jacob had invited me. This was just like with my job; all I had to do was pretend I was okay, and no one would dig too deep.

If his mom was really as drama averse as she seemed, everything would be fine.

Walking down the cold, empty sidewalk, tension buzzed up and down my legs and wrapped tightly around my spine. I didn’t know what to expect, but family gatherings couldn’t bethatdifferent. Faint memories played behind my lids when I blinked— faded half-forgotten visions of a life that wasn’t mine anymore.

My shoulders hurt, but the pain wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t ignore it. Sure, the bruises were ugly and looked bad, but I was okay. As long as I kept telling myself that, I could get by.

“There it is.” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as Jacob pointed down and across the street at a little house with white siding. It was a cute, small house, two stories, with a narrow stair leading up to the screen door. There was no front yard, but a garden gnome sat on the flat surface of the railing by the sidewalk. Crossing the street, Jacob and I walked slowly, and my heart beat harder and harder. All I could see was the gnome’s green hat, and I gnawed on my bottom lip furiously.