Page 59 of The Restoration Program

She stretched toward his face, and he hesitantly put himself within reach. Nicole kissed him until he relaxed.

“You scare me, too,” Ryan said when she stopped. “The absence of you. That emptiness I felt when I thought the accident was taking you from me… Sometimes I wake up and it’s gnawing at me again. I have to turn over and make sure you haven’t vanished into thin air.” He traced her side reverently.

Nicole wiped away her tears on her sleeve and offered him an imploring smile. “I promise, I’m not going anywhere.” She gave her ass a little wiggle against him for good measure.

The corners of his lips softened. He kissed her forehead, her cheek, her lips.

“Just don’t put me in that position again at the meeting,” he said. “We’re a team. Don’t make me look like Ellis.”

Nicole snorted in agreement at the dig. Ryan stayed close—more than close enough for her to notice his eyes go distant for a moment.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize yesterday had impacted you so deeply,” he said.

She pursed her lips and tried not to soften how sullen her thoughts had been. “I… I don’t know if I can go back there. Just the thought of all those eyes on me again makes me want to scream.”

“You said being here alone wasn’t good for you either,” he said. “What if we try again in a few days? Maybe it’ll get better. We’ll know what to expect. We’ll be prepared.”

Normally, his determination would have made her melt, but instead nausea settled in her gut. She shook her head, frustrated tears pricking the back of her eyes.

“I can’t,” she said in a small voice.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“It’s not you! It’sthem. People like Levesque and those assholes who were snapping pictures like I’m behind a glass wall at the zoo. I want to be with you but I’m not ready to face people like that for an entire day again. I justcan’t.”

He heaved a long sigh. “Okay. That’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, Ry. I really am.”

“After all that stress over convincing Callahan…”

She tightened her hold on his finger and shut her eyes, feeling no sense of victory in winning. Already, the dread of long days alone crept back under her skin. She couldn’t do that either. No matter where she turned, every option teemed with misery. Her discontent accumulated into a broken laugh.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered. “Nothing’s the right choice.”

Ryan gave an immediate reaction to the hollowness of her voice, and this time she was greedy for his comfort. He scooped her off his lap in both hands, tucking her against his chest as he leaned back in his seat. The warmth of his embrace drove the unpleasant chills away.

“It’s okay,” he promised, stroking her hair with expertly light fingertips. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll take care of everything.”

DAY FIFTY-EIGHT

Darlene shifted on the sofa, her long denim-clad legs stretching toward the rumpled throw blanket draped over the armrest. Rain pattered on the window of the apartment, creating white noise that made Nicole feel heavy and tired as she slumped deeper into the NüPrint armchair on the coffee table.

“Have you seen the trailer for that new space thriller?” Darlene asked, tearing her gaze from her phone.

“Isolation Ground?”

“That’s the one.”

Nicole reclined against one armrest and draped her legs across the other. “Ryan and I play a game,” she said, “where we try to guess the whole plot of a movie based on the trailers. I bet I could tell you every twist and turn of that one.”

Although Darlene laughed, she gave Nicole a meaningful look. “So… you still haven’t gone to the theater?”

Nicole shrugged. “You can’t get the full silver-screen experience watching from the pocket of a shirt.”

Darlene nodded sympathetically. “Tell you what, though,” she said through a mouthful of popcorn. “One of these times I come over, I could stay late and put together a whole movie night for us. The TV screen’s a perfect theater for you.”

“What, these moviedaysaren’t good enough?” Nicole giggled.