Page 129 of The Restoration Program

Nicole stared at her tiny hand against his, her fist matching his knuckle. He was waiting for her to make a move, so she lifted her gaze and made sure he saw her lower her walls. She flung the gates open for him again—at least for a night.

“Can you pick me up?” she asked.

Ryan’s lips parted. He complied without question. Every rustle of fabric seemed deafening as a single hand wrapped around her middle and gently stole her off her feet.

“It’s been a while since you asked me that.” The bitterness in his voice was only slight.

Nicole shuttered her eyes as he moved her from eye-level down to his chest. His second hand rested over the first, locking her in a snug, comfortable embrace. Ryan gave a heavy sigh and seemed to crumple with relief as the moment stretched on in comfortable silence. She reciprocated the hug as best she could, feeling the weight of his gaze on the top of her head.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“All I ever wanted was to have you back in my arms like this,” Ryan said. “Is it really so bad? Needing me?”

Her breath caught. “We’re both supposed to need each other,” she said. “It isn’t easy toalwaysbe the one in need. How would you feel?”

“You think I haven’t thought about that?” He pulled her away, hands flexing to hold with particular care. She was seated on his palm, his other hand cupped at her side. He stroked her knee with his thumb, teasing the hem of her nightgown.

“I’m doing my best,” he said. “You know that, don’t you?”

She brushed her hand over his thumb, and she watched how he studied her hand. They locked gazes, and she sucked in a soft breath. “I love you, Ryan.”

He cocked his head, a bemused smile tugging on his lips. “I love you, too.”

“I just feel like I haven’t said it enough lately.” Nicole kissed his thumb, leaning her cheek thoughtfully against him. “Would you ever get Restored, too? Not if you got into an accident. Just to be with me—the way we used to fit together. Burman volunteered, and Jenning has spoken openly to me about it, too. Think about it. You could wrap your arms around me again.”

“I would love that,” Ryan said softly. “But how’d we keep a roof over our heads?”

“Your parents could help,” she said, and though she hadn’t it given it serious thought, she found her heart leaping with excitement. Images flashed through her mind’s eye. “And besides… It would be a much smaller roof.”

She was a little deflated when Ryan merely grinned affectionately and tucked her into an embrace. “We’ve got time. We were lucky enough to get a second chance, and I don’t want either of us to take it for granted. Sometimes, I think it’s hard not to fall into a routine. We have to make the most of it.”

He was beginning to sound like his own brand of the Restoration Program.

“Are you trying to turn me on with introspection?” she asked, grinning.

He chuckled and leaned in to kiss her neck. “Is it working?”

“Maybe. It’s a shame this nightgown is too comfy to take off.”

“Oh? Could I convince you if I promise to make you even comfier?” She felt him walking, moving them swiftly into the bedroom.

“You’re in the mood already?” she said, masking her exhaustion with a challenging grin.

“When has that been a bad thing?” Ryan purred.

Though she giggled, clouds brewed at the back of her mind. She loathed to admit to herself, but the truth resonated as she undressed for him: nothing felt organic anymore. She was nothing more than a preening animal, doing her dance to satisfy her mate. He’d be happy. They wouldn’t argue.

And you’re supposed to be happy in there too somewhere, mami,she could imagine Carlos chiming in.

Ryan voice-commanded the overhead lights off, leaving the two of them in the glow of lamplight. Nicole tried to exist in the moment, smiling as Ryan pinned her to the bed with kisses. He pinned her arms over her head, and she pulled them free to freely explore his skin.

As their gentle touches grew feverish, she remembered what it felt like to kiss Carlos. The way they had fit together. The intrusion of guilt made her turn away from Ryan with a little intake of breath.

“What’s wrong?” Ryan asked, paused over her right breast.

“It’s been about a week, hasn’t it?” she blurted.

“Huh?”