Page 104 of The Restoration Program

“How about we stop talking for a while?” she whispered.

“Oh yeah?” His deep voice turned conspiratorial. He moved her into both hands, holding her in front of him.

There was no other sound apart from the poetry of their skin touching for a few minutes. It was like art; like animals; likehumans.Nicole swelled into him and let one hand probe beneath her panties.

“You know what I’d really love?” Ryan asked.

“What?”

He chewed his lip. “I’d love to play that game again. Get out the yarn. Have a little fun.”

“Oh. Yeah?”

“I know, I know… I feel bad even asking. I know a lot has happened, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how fucking amazing you looked all tied up for me.”

Nicole’s brow knit as he gently trailed more kisses against her clavicle. She braved her hands back against his curled fingers.

“I don’t know, Ry…”

“We’ll agree on a safeword this time. You trust me, don’t you?”

“I do, but…” She avoided his gaze, feeling sick as he gave a disappointed sigh. “Sorry, babe. I know there’s supposed to be a sort of thrill to bondage, but I can’t see myself being into it.”

“What, like, ever?”

She shrugged. “I can’t say so for sure. Right now, it’s not in the cards for me.”

He gave another sigh, and she caught a glimpse of his detached expression as he released her back onto his shoulder. “I’ve gotta get this done anyway,” he said.

The conversation and heat petered out. His eyes locked back onto the damn spreadsheets. She sat still for a moment, shocked that her refusal had been met with such immediate coldness. Good for him, she thought bitterly, that he could bury himself in his work. There was nothing for her in this bedroom excepthim.

Just him—and the fear that she couldn’t be enough for him anymore.

Determined to not let their evening end this way, she stripped off her shirt and tossed it aside. He didn’t seem to notice. She pressed up against his neck and kissed along his jawline.

“What are you doing?” he mumbled.

She moved higher, rubbing her cheek and hands against his stubble. “Come on, you were ready to look away from those dumb numbers and codes just now. I’m trying to bring you back over to the dark side. Is it working?”

He just snorted and kept typing. A little smirk curled at the corner of his lips, as if curious how far she would go.

Huffing, she slid down his chest until she rested at the crook of his arm. She leaned into his bicep and slipped her hand into her panties. She fingered herself while his eyes swam with arousal.

“Mommy needs a kiss,” she said, pouting up at him.

The moment the words left her lips, she thought of their attempt with the yarn.You want daddy to punish you, don’t you?She couldn’t take it back, and it would be even worse to clarify that she wasn’t teasing him about her refusal to try again.

Nonetheless, his teeth dragged against his bottom lip. For a second, she thought she had him, but he ultimately gave her an apologetic look. “I really wish I could. But, you know… Can’t always have our way.”

Her shoulders slumped. He had to be teasing. There was no way he could be so petulant about her sayingno. He didn’t let up, though, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was his way of saying that she didn’t excite him anymore. The few times they’d been intimate lately felt… lackluster. She’d ridden his cock like a bronc rider the other night, but Ryan could only conjure the most polite climax. Like rewatching a movie he’d already seen a dozen times.

She was chasing a particular spark that kept bobbing out of her hands like an errant bug. Even when they’d been equals, she’d never imagined marriage as a fairytale cure-all. She had seen enough to know better.

But admittedly, a small part of her hadhoped…

“If this is that important to you…” She swallowed hard, the words like acid on her tongue. “I want to try again. With the yarn.” Her heart fluttered when his surprised gaze landed on her. She didn’t waste it, putting on an alluring smile. “Ifthat’swhat it takes to make you forget about these stupid spreadsheets.”

Ryan went quiet, considering her offer like he was still crunching numbers in his head. “You said no.”