Page 3 of The Ranger (Black Hawke Security #5)

COLE

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I t’s a funny thing , knowing how to kill someone in under five seconds and not being able to do it. Especially when they’re in your face and testing your patience.

How Scarlett has survived this long without someone trying to murder her is beyond me.

The night we met, I saw a beautiful wild tiger, and the idea of her around my cock and in my bed was hot as fuck.

I was right.

But as the mother of my unborn baby? Much less hot. Lukewarm. More like clammy.

Liar.

Scarlett is argumentative about every goddamn topic, insanely independent and angry. So damn angry.

To her credit, she never excludes me from anything to do with the baby, and I respect that. Although she uses the word tolerate a lot.

Aside from all of that, there’s this unspoken thing between us that we’re not addressing. I’m not blind to the way she reacts around me. She might be pregnant and my baby mamma but she’s still a woman...one I spent hours pleasuring.

Just to be clear, I also took a ton of pleasure from her. And damn, it was...

Digressing.

So, yeah, I see the way her eyes dilate, her lashes flutter, her lips part ever so softly when I lift something or run a hand over her arm. Or...things.

A lot of things.

But when she knows I’m looking, one blink and she blocks me out. Scarlet, like me, is also nervous and excited. It has bonded us. It’s the glue that keeps us moving forward and not killing one another.

And when I’m tempted to cross those lines, and think she might want it, all it takes is a moment’s glance and she pushes me firmly back in the daddy lane.

I’m always glad she did it.

My cock isn’t.

But I am.

Our boundaries are important—important for our child. Jesus, I’m going to be a dad . Soon. At best, four weeks.

Emotionally, I’m not ready.

Telling Mom that I knocked up a woman wasn’t my proudest moment, but then she met Scarlett—a heart-stopping moment—and they got along very well. My sister, Caylee, loves her.

“I hope she lets us be a part of its life,” Mom said a few months ago.

“Of course she will, Mom. It’s my kid, too.”

“I know, but...”

I waited for the “ You are just like your father” comment, but it never came. I was doing enough of that for the both of us because I could see the disappointment on her face. She wanted me to bring a girl home, fall in love, propose, have a big wedding and then give her grandkids.

Instead, I had skipped all those steps and announced she was now a grandma.

Have I thought about proposing?

Ummmmmmmm...no.

Yes.

Sort of.

Listen, knocking up a girl is nothing to be proud of. Everyone was expecting it, and no one— no one —would’ve believed it was because we were in love.

We aren’t.

I care about her.

Scarlett doesn’t love me. Hell, I think she’d push me in front of a truck some days if she wouldn’t go to prison for it.

She’d say no if I asked.

But I do care. I care very much. She’s carrying my baby, and she... she gets under my skin. Over the past four months, we have a relationship unique to that I have with anyone else in my life.

Neither of us was happy about the situation we found ourselves in, but we’ve made the most of it.

Confession: I’m still insanely attracted to her.

So between wanting to fuck Scarlett’s tight little pussy and hiding my attraction so she doesn’t dropkick me out of her life, together we’ve collaborated pretty damn well to date.

It’s when she’s at her most vulnerable that I want to wrap her in my arms and persuade her there’s something more here.

But I never do.

You are just like your father.

I don’t trust myself. I’m doing the best I can being a single father- to-be and supporting Scarlett as we lead up to the birth. I don’t want to fuck up any more than I have.

For four long months, I’ve attended medical appointments and purchased everything we need for our child.

Other than that, we haven’t discussed how things are going to work. Which is probably irresponsible, but we haven’t.

The only thing I said was, “I’ll support you until our kid is of age. You and the baby will never want for anything. But I am going to be a part of his life; never question that or block me.”

“Her.”

“We’ll see.”

I meant it, and I’ve followed through on those words so far. Aside from a couple of appointments where I’ve been in tricky situations at work, I’ve been at all of them.

Hearing the heartbeat was the single most incredible and terrifying moment of my life.

I’m going to be a dad.

I’m scared as fuck about Scarlett giving birth and how our lives are about to change. I know she is too. It’s nights like this when she gets tired and cranky that I want to tell her to stay home.

I think she’s scared of missing out on life when she becomes a mom.

So as we step out of the elevator and walk to my car, I keep my lips zipped and assist her into the passenger seat.

Goddamn, why does she have to wear these short dresses? I could press her against the car, yank down her panties and be inside her in twenty seconds.

Don’t tell me she isn’t wet and wanting my cock.

I know she is.

I adjust my cock as I round the car, hoping she doesn’t notice it as I climb in.

“You know, if you really were taking this father role seriously, you’d get rid of this thing and buy an SUV,” Scarlett mutters.

This thing? It’s a fucking Maserati.

“Noted,” I reply like the saint I’m becoming, then close my door harder than is necessary.

This is why we need to fuck.

I’m sure both of us would feel better. Especially me as I pound into her, watching her pretty little head slam into the headboard. But oh no , apparently I’ve decided that being loyal to my unborn child means I’m celibate.

God knows she’s the only woman I imagine while jerking off, so I’m living this kind of frustrated hell right now.

Nothing compares to the day I phoned my father.

“About time you called your dad,” he grouched.

“I have news,” I announced, ignoring him.

“You finally met a girl you wanted to settle down with? It’s a big decision, son. You will spend forever with her.”

Well, is that true?

He didn’t.

So where does he get off giving me a lecture?

“I think we both know the men in the Zimbardo family are pretty shit at that.”

“Cole,” he sighed. “I couldn’t stay with your mother—”

“Please. You made your choice back then; I don’t need excuses. I’m also not going to make the same mistakes,” I replied, then launched into my news, which he deserved to hear. “I’m going to be a father.”

Silence.

“Dad.”

“Yeah, sorry, that just surprised me. I’m going to be a grandpa.” He sounded breathless. “When?”

“Two months.” I’d taken longer to tell my father than I did my mother.

“You’ve known for seven months and only just telling me.”

I rolled my eyes. “You were cheating on Mom for two years, so let’s call it even.”

“When are you going to get over this, Cole? It’s in the past.”

“No, it’s not. It’s called my childhood. You left when I was thirteen.” I ground my molars.

“I didn’t leave you. I moved twenty minutes away.”

Shaking my head, I reminded myself this selfish prick was never going to apologize or acknowledge the pain he caused the rest of us.

“Well, I guess she wasn’t worth it,” I said to get under his skin, as Betty had left him a year later. “And to save you time, yes, I’m ashamed that I haven’t done any better.”

“Watch your mouth,” he said in that firm parental tone only a father can manage.

I let out a dry laugh because I didn’t respect the man.

Then again, I didn’t respect myself.

This was why I was in this constant push and pull with Scarlett. The lust between us was palpable. As far as I was concerned, she was my family. So why shouldn’t we be together officially?

Because she’d kick me in the balls if I brought it up.

So every day I put aside my childhood triggers and told myself, one day I’d meet the woman of my dreams, and there were tons of blended families in the world.

That it didn’t make me my father.

I wasn’t him.

Not once did I feel satisfied with that answer. The moment I saw Scarlett, swollen with my baby, I wanted...more.

I wanted her under my roof, in my bed, around my cock.

And I was sick of pretending otherwise.

Instead, Scarlett lives twenty minutes from me, and I’ve spent the last month putting together our baby’s bedroom, painting the walls and setting up the crib. In a home his daddy doesn’t live in.

I hate that his first night at home won’t be in my house with me. I hate that he (fine, or she) won’t have me as one of his primary caregivers for his entire life, just as I didn’t.

I know everyone thinks it’s because I’m this decorated soldier who has good morals and wants to do right by his kid.

Sure, maybe.

But I haven’t looked at another woman the way I do Scarlett since she told me she was pregnant. To be honest, in the four months between fucking her and learning we’d made a baby, there had been two women.

Both less than satisfying.

I mean, Scarlett was a hard act to follow.

Kissing her in the doorway, feeling her firm breasts and hard nipples against my chest while pushing her T-shirt up her taut ribs had me stiff as fuck.

“Bedroom,” she had moaned when I picked her up.

Placing her on the floor of her room, I watched her kick off her shoes and start removing her suspenders.

“They stay on,” I growled, taking the T-shirt from her as I pulled my own off.

“My god,” she took two steps and ran her hands over my abs. “Look at how pretty you are.”

“Pretty?”

Her face lifted, and she nodded. “Like a statue or something. Yum.”

Holy fuck.

She fell to her knees wearing that short skirt, a bra and the suspenders, then unzipped me. Eyes locked with mine, she pulled my cock out and licked the leaking tip.

“You’re big everywhere, Coley Moley,” Scarlett purred.

“Fuck, stop talking. Put it in your mouth,” I ordered, before I almost came on her face.

And boy, she did. All the way down her throat with such taunting in her eyes. She’s right, I am big and long, so I actually thought she was going to choke on me.