Page 27 of The Ranger (Black Hawke Security #5)

COLE

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S carlett and I tiptoe out of Zara’s bedroom and gently close the door. Then we collapse against one another.

I can’t help my smile.

Aidan was right— the jerk— I’m fucking exhausted.

“I can’t walk. I’m too tired to breathe,” Scarlett says dramatically, draped over my shoulder.

She’s been sleeping in the guest room for two days, and my willpower is almost out.

I love having her and Zara here, knowing I’m providing for and protecting them both. Chen is still missing, and I swear I am going to send him flowers for giving us this time together.

Not really.

Maybe a deadly virus instead.

Still, I can’t help but being a little grateful for this turn of events.

Our first night home with Zara was a little messy. We had to set up her room, which I did while Scar fed her. She’s taken to breastfeeding well, but apparently it hurts.

I can’t even grapple with how it must feel.

Then, each time we put her down and had to walk away, we found ourselves standing at the doorway staring at her.

“Maybe I’ll put a glass window in.”

Scarlett leaned her head against my shoulder, and I wrapped an arm around her. “She’s still alive, so only twenty years and three-hundred-and-fifty-one days to go.”

“Please tell me you’re not going to count down.”

“Can’t promise.” I smiled down at her.

Now, we’re in the same spot when I scoop her up into my arms. “I got you.”

She almost squeals, then snaps her lips closed so we don't wake Zara.

“Shh,” I laugh quietly. It’s like we’re the quietest drunks on the planet.

God, I’m dying to kiss her.

I’m taking this opportunity and running with it. It could go very, very wrong, but I’m madly in love with this woman and can’t wait a minute longer.

Scarlett giggles into my chest as I walk back into the living room and collapse on the sofa. She starts to climb off me, but I hold her.

When she stills, I draw in a breath.

I’ve had a lot of women; I’m not going to lie. I love sex. I love making women come. I’m not lacking in the confidence department.

The night I watched Scarlett on the dance floor—the night we made Zara—I knew she was a spitfire. Since then she’s pushed me away every second she can.

I think the only reason I didn’t pursue her after that first night was because I liked her a lot more than I expected to. It scared me a little.

She was so wild.

I wanted someone who matched the image I had of the perfect life. Then she turns up pregnant and, my fucking god, talk about landing in the opposite of perfect.

But these past few months, I’ve been falling in love with her, and I think I’ve known it the entire time but wouldn’t admit it to myself.

“Cole,” Scarlett warns, her eyes roaming my face for answers. “Let’s not mess this up.”

She’s still scared.

“How have we messed it up, Scar? I see a beautiful little girl in that bedroom who has brought joy to a lot of people.”

Including us.

“Who deserves two parents who can raise her.” She looks away, but I take her chin in my fingers and drag her eyes back to me.

“That’s what we are doing. And I’d like to keep doing it. Under one roof.”

Her eyes dip.

“Yeah.” Scarlett pushes away more firmly this time. “I get it. But that’s not what this is. Listen, I’m going to bed.”

My heart sinks as I watch her walk away. I sit, dumbfounded, on the sofa for a long while, just staring at the carpet. There are a lot of emotions flying around right now, but I was sure she felt more.

Don’t leave me.

Never.

I know—I know—that I can’t take her words while sitting on the floor of the room she was held captive in as gospel. But what about the way she’s fallen asleep in my arms, the way our bodies crave one another, how she leans into me when we stand next to one another?

Even in public.

Or how her eyes seek mine whenever she’s nervous. How she automatically hands me tight jars and points up at high things.

I’m her person.

She is mine.

T HE NEXT MORNING, I’m up early and go for a run as Scarlett and Zara do their morning routine. I want to give her space, and I still need to wrap my head around what this means if we’re not together.

When I return, sweat dripping off me from pounding the sidewalk hard, Scarlett’s eyes run over my body from top to toe.

I see the desire in her eyes. The way she bites her lip, then glances away sharply, like she wasn’t affected.

Liar.

“Great, look at you all hot and sexy, while I’m a fat breastfeeding blob,” she mutters.

Is she fucking kidding me?

I rip off my T-shirt and wipe it over my face while striding into the house further, stopping in front of her.

“Not helping, Cole.”

She’s in a pair of sweatpants with her top lifted, and Zara is feeding.

“You may not want to hear this, sweetheart, but watching you feed our daughter is hot as fuck,” I say firmly, and her mouth parts. Then I glance down at my shorts. “Case in point.”

“Oh,” she says, staring at my erection, which is impossible to miss. “Really?”

Jesus, what does she think it’s from? Like I was stroking my cock on the doorstep to fake it.

“Really.”

I draw my T-shirt over my face again, then down my chest and...fine, yes, I’m trying to get a reaction out of her. I can’t just give up on the woman I love because she’s scared. She’s going to have to convince me that she doesn’t feel the same.

She swallows, adjusts Zara and then looks up again. “About last night—”

“Yes?”

“I...this. That.” She points to my cock. “I know we’re attracted to one another, but our kid is more important.”

I stare at her.

She thinks this is just about sex?

“You think I want you to stay so I can have sex on tap and my daughter here full-time?” I lift my brows.

She shrugs.

Unbelievable.

“It’s not a terrible deal. I mean, people have gotten married for worse reasons.” Scarlett shrugs again.

Wow.

Fury starts to seep into my veins. After all I’ve fucking done. How open I’ve fucking been. How dare she insult my morals in this way?

I walk across the room, shaking my head. Then turn, bitterness on my tongue when I say, “I wasn’t asking you to marry me, Scarlett.”

Her face pales, and I see the pain in her eyes.

It’s too late. The words have left my lips, and we have both crossed the line of no return.

“Yeah. I know. Don’t worry. I’m very clear what this is.”

Fuck.

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SCARLETT

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I WASN’T ASKING you to marry me, Scarlett.

Wow, just wow.

I suppose a part of me still hanging onto his words at the warehouse. I’m her husband. I knew they weren’t real, but at the time I was pregnant with his baby, terrified and had convinced myself I was in love with him.

Maybe I am.

But I don’t think he is, and that’s the problem here.

You think I want you to stay so I can have sex on tap and my daughter here full-time?

I didn’t put those thoughts in his head, so if the shoe fits....

As soon as this North Korean motherfucker is caught, Zara and I need to go home.