Page 11 of The Ranger (Black Hawke Security #5)

COLE

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I totally crossed her oral-only boundary last night, I know I did. But I couldn’t stop myself.

For the record, I did try.

At first, I simply removed Scarlett’s cardigan, then I figured I’d take her dress off, so she didn’t have to sleep in it. That seemed reasonable to me. It would be uncomfortable. Right?

Right?

Then taking in her more-than-a-handful (now) breasts bursting out of her bra, I pressed down on my hardening cock and let out a quiet curse. I figured she’d want it off.

I would...if I wore one.

At least, that was my mindset. It was the excuse I told myself as I put a cushion under the baby, getting her on her side so I could unclip her bra. I was helping .

After removing the last strap, Scarlett moved onto her back. I’d taken a quick step back, waiting for her eyes to flick open.

Christ.

She didn’t, and I was mildly disappointed not to be stopped. I knew I should. I knew. Even still, I slipped off the other strap and stood staring at her bare tits.

Fuck.

The desire to suck her nipples was so overwhelming I swear my cock began leaking. Running a hand over my face, I took in her panties and then snapped my eyes back up to Scarlett’s face.

Jesus.

Her hand slapped to her chest and cupped her breast.

God, I’m not this strong, I remember thinking. And as it turns out, I wasn’t. In my stupid man brain, I decided she needed her panties off too, so she’d be more comfortable.

Let’s face it, that was just an outright lie. For all I know, she normally sleeps in them. Yet, my body moved, and next minute I had the sides of her panties hooked under my fingers and slid down her legs.

Scarlett moaned, and her knees fell open.

I should have covered her and walked away.

But did I?

No, I fucking didn’t.

Gently, I palmed her inner thigh and licked my lips as I took in the pink flesh below her swollen, pregnant belly.

Glancing up, Scarlett’s mouth parted, and she mumbled something incoherent as her fingers pinched her nipple.

Was she awake?

My cock was straining against my zipper painfully, and all my willpower was on holiday elsewhere. I unzipped and wrapped my hand around my length tightly, as if it might stop me.

It didn’t.

Reaching out, I ran my finger through her folds and found her juices awaiting me. While I stroked myself, I moved towards her entrance.

“Cole,” Scarlett mumbled, her head falling to the side while her eyes stayed closed.

I don’t know if I could have stopped at that point.

Two of my fingers slid around her sex and circled her clit a few times, then Scarlett lifted her hips, inviting my digits inside her hot wet channel.

My hand tightened, stroking faster.

When my eyes landed back on her face, hers were flickering awake as she arched, cupping both breasts.

Goddamn, nothing had felt this forbidden and dirty in my entire fucking life.

I was done playing it safe at that point. I removed my fingers, kneeled on the bed and licked the length of her pussy while never looking away.

Like I was daring her to stop me.

She didn’t.

“Fuck.” She threw an arm over her face, breaking our connection.

I hesitated a second, then released my cock, widened her legs with both palms and went to town with all the licking, sucking and nibbling on her soaking cunt.

“Fuck, you taste good,” I rasped.

“Don’t talk. This isn’t happening.”

It was happening, and I decided in that moment to make the most of it. We both knew this was the last time. Reaching, I pinched her nipple and felt her tremble under me.

Two arms now covered her face, and I wondered for a moment if I should stop. Then I reminded myself that this sassy young woman would have no trouble telling me to get the fuck out of here if she didn’t want me pleasuring her.

I must’ve stilled, because those arms of hers lifted and stunning green eyes glared at me, warning me to keep going or there would be trouble.

Unbelievable.

My guilt vanished.

Desperate for more of her, I growled, then licked from one length of her pussy to the other over and fucking over, flicking my tongue in all the right spots until she screamed.

“I’m going to hell,” Scarlett cried, grabbing a pillow and covering her face as her orgasm blasted through her so hard even I could feel the depths of her shudders.

Without hesitating, I sat up, aligned my cock, grabbed the pillow and tossed it across the room.

“Look at me,” I demanded as she squeezed her eyes closed.

“No. Cole. No. Ohhhh, fuck.”

Scarlett’s eyes flew open as I pressed inside. Not slow. Not fast. With pure intention.

I was fucking the mother of my baby and wanted both of us to remember and enjoy this moment.

“Feel that?”

“Shhhh.”

Thrusting in and out, I palmed the wall above her, unable to get too close because of her swollen belly.

“Fuck, yes, Scar. Feel every inch of me.” I rumbled.

“Stop. Talking. Fuck. God. Cole. More.” She said each word painfully and slowly. “More. Harder. Fuck. Yes. Oh god. Yes. Oh, oh, yes. Don’t stop.”

I had no plans to.

Speeding up, I slammed in harder, the friction and heat from her amazing pussy sucking me tighter and tighter.

When her arms reached out and slid down my chest, her green eyes locked with mine. All the pain and anger of the past few months completely drained away, and I felt something powerful pass between us.

What was that?

It was new.

Cupping the side of her face, I knew I wanted more of this. I didn’t want it to be the last time. Like a drug, I needed this. Whatever this was. Her under me (silent and beautifully) taking my cock.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” I cried.

Raw power blasted through my cock as my seed spilled inside her, and an animalistic part of me wanted to pound my chest.

Unable to collapse over her, I fell to the side and tugged her back against my body.

“Your cock is wet and soggy,” Scarlett moaned.

“Go to sleep.”

“I’m full of your cum,” she grumbled further. “And now your cock is getting hard again.”

“I’m a man.” I chuckled into her hair as I slid my arm around and pushed my fingers inside her once more.

“Obviously. Are you done?” Scarlett clucked her tongue, annoyed, but her wriggling told me she was not.

“Not even close. Go back to sleep. I’m going to play,” I rasped.

I ignored her pathetic mutters of resistance and, when I knew she was close, slid my cock inside her again from behind this time.

“Ohhhfuckohfuck.” Her cries were muffled by the pillow as I gently and slowly tortured her.

When I couldn’t take it anymore, and our bodies were slick with sweat, I shifted and deepened my thrusts, going hard.

Fast.

Destroying her pussy for any other man.

“I’ve fantasized about doing this. So. Many. Fucking. Times.”

I came inside her a second time.

“Cole,” Scarlett screamed, and when she turned her face, our mouths smashed together.

That’s how it ended.

As the last of my cum leaked from her worn cunt, and our tongues finally finished demanding from one another, we slowed and came back to reality. Then Scarlett turned away and stiffened.

Her walls were back up.

I pulled out, flopped onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. When I laid a hand on her hip to keep us connected, she didn’t respond.

“I—”

“Just go, Cole,” Scarlett whispered.

Frowning, I climbed off the bed, cleaned up in the bathroom and then stood in the doorway for a short time. In the moonlight creeping through the curtains, I could see her lying on her side with her eyes open.

I crossed the room and covered her, then did something I never normally did when she was awake. I kissed her forehead.

“Your barriers are tougher to get past than Alcatraz.” I shook my head.

“Clearly not,” I heard her mumble as I reached the door.

I smiled sadly, then left.

Now, as I step out of my shower and towel dry my hair, I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder who I am.

Am I a man who takes from a woman without consent? She consented. Am I a man who lets a woman pregnant with my child keep him away when it appears there is more between us?

I’m not sorry for fucking her. I loved every dirty, forbidden minute of it. I just don’t know what she wants.

Or what I want.

For four months I’ve focused on doing the right thing, making sure they were both cared for and their needs met. While also getting my head around it.

Now, we have only weeks left before the baby is born. It’s like a really fucking loud clock ticking.

This was not my life plan. I was always going to do better than my father. My mom is disappointed, but hearing that Scarlett invited her to the baby shower this weekend has made me happy. Mom texted me saying she was thrilled.

I’ve watched them form a relationship over the past few months, and I think it’s good for everyone. Especially my child.

Having a good relationship with the mother of my child is even more important—I know that after seeing my parents split—so what we did last night was stupid.

It was my fault.

Yet, if I knew Scarlett would sit down and talk with me about how she’s feeling, we might be able to be honest with one another. There is something real here, and I don’t just mean lust.

Christ , maybe it is the hormones.

I run the towel over my body, feeling my cock thicken as I recall her swollen flesh under my tongue and how wet she was. And so quickly, given she was supposedly asleep.

These recent intimate moments might be the first time we’ve fucked since our first night together, but there have been signs.

Every Thursday, she falls asleep in my arms on the sofa, and I carry her to bed. Then there are the foot rubs and the way I touch her when we are walking side by side.

She lets me do it.

I push those boundaries, rubbing her upper back, dusting my hand over her hips.

Scarlett never stops me.

I think I do it to test her, unconsciously.

But also, to imagine what it’d feel like to be happily married and expecting our child together as a couple.

That’s what I want.

The whole package. Even a goddamn picket fence.

Would I have chosen Scarlett?

The answer is, I didn’t.

We saw each other a few times after the first night. She’s part of the same social group. Granted, she never showed up at our BHS Friday night drinks as often as the other girls, but I figure it’s because she was pregnant.

In those very early days, we shared glances, she’d sass me as if the night meant nothing to her, and I wondered if I’d have to walk on fire to get her to say yes to going on a date with me.

Scarlett didn’t seem like the relationship type. Instead, she was prickly and argumentative. You know, the type you wanted to fuck into compliance, not take on a candlelit dinner.

Well, we skipped all that and went straight to becoming parents.

Rightly or wrongly, here we are.

I’m fucking terrified and excited.

I’ve lain awake many nights imagining the moment I get to hold the baby in my arms. Wondering if it will seem like a stranger to me, or if I’ll fall in love at first sight.

I’m worried Scarlett could be a terrible mom, then watch her obsess about where the little flamingo baby mobile will hang so it doesn’t scare the baby. Don’t ask me how many times I had to move it to the left, then the right, then back to the fucking left before screwing it into the roof.

Twelve.

I counted.

She is going to be incredible. No one is going to get past her to hurt our child. Me included.

Except I’ve already failed.

Every child deserves both its parents, and I’ve fucked around worrying about car seats, strollers and flamingo baby mobiles, instead of trying to have a relationship with its mom.

“Fuck,” I chuck the towel into the hamper and walk to the closet. “Fucking idiot.”

I should not have touched her.

Pulling on a shirt and a fresh pair of navy-blue pants, I walk into the bedroom and slide on my wristwatch. Then go out to the kitchen, where my coffee maker has done its thing.

I pour a cup and add cream.

“Fuck,” I curse again, then pull out my phone and find her number.

Dial.

“Hey,” Scarlett answers.

“So.” I run my hand through my hair.

“Don’t bother. Let me do it for you. Big mistake, it never happened, let’s not talk about it again. Carry on.”

“You sound pissed.” My eyes dart around my home and take in the gray sofa and new artwork I recently purchased.

Private security pays way more than the US government.

“On the contrary, I’m feeling sated and content. Thank you for your service.”

I shake my head and lift my coffee to my lips, but there’s also a hint of pride. My girl was pleasured.

My girl?

“Welcome,” I mutter. “So, we’re good?”

“Well, I was good.”

She just lay there, but I’m not crazy enough to point that out.

“Scarlett.” I nudge her.

“Yes. Fine. We’re good. Get over it,” she mutters. “I have to catch the bus. Bye.”

She hangs up as my mouth falls open.

The bus?

The fucking bus! I didn’t know she caught the bus to work. She has a damn car. I thought...well, I don’t know what I thought she did with her car on Thursdays.

I try to call back three times, but it goes to voicemail.

Goddamn her.

“Jesus Christ.” I grab my satchel and storm out the door. “My baby is not being born on a fucking bus.”