Page 26 of The Ranger (Black Hawke Security #5)

SCARLETT

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I ’m a mom. I mean, I felt like a mom the moment I learned I was pregnant. It’s an invisible feeling to others until they see your bump, but now, holding Zara in my arms, it’s a whole other level of parenthood.

This tiny thing is relying on me to keep her alive.

To teach her everything. Well, most things. Her daddy will do his part.

Speaking of...the man is driving me insane. Cole’s only left to use the bathroom and get me food. Otherwise, he’s like a prison guard, never taking his eyes off me.

A prison guard who can kiss the socks off me.

I understand. We were kidnapped, and Zara has just been born, but it’s been three days. That’s a lot of time to spend almost every second with someone.

But also, if he left, I’d lose my mind.

Cole can’t win.

The good news is, after telling me to stay an extra day because of the condition I arrived in, the doctors say I can go home.

I’m excited but scared.

Every part of my body is sore. For different reasons. Childbirth, yes, but I was also physically harmed by those kidnapping monsters.

Knowing that Chen guy is still on the run has me holding Zara really tight. It’s why Cole hasn’t left, and, despite what I said, I am grateful.

I’m also hormonal as fuck.

I can’t get that damn kiss out of my head.

Fortunately, Cassy brought my overnight bag in when she visited, so I was able to make myself look and smell as nice as possible.

It’s like being on a date, but you look your worst.

As expected, Cole’s focus has been his daughter, not me. She’s his world, and it’s beautiful to watch. I just wish I were part of it.

Thankfully, I kept my head, and my expectations are realistic. Or perhaps I know life will let me down, so I never get my hopes up.

I climb out of bed while Cole sits in the armchair holding Zara. She’s asleep. His eyes shoot up to me in question.

“I’ll shower and then, by the time the doctor is here, you can take us home.”

His lips press tight together, and he nods.

I’ve already decided he can sleep on the sofa if he wants. Or he might offer to put security outside the house. I don’t care either way.

Lies, I do care.

Yet, I can’t. I feel like this clingy woman who is about to snap. I’m holding in all my emotions. I’m angry he kissed me like that. I’m angry he called me his wife.

I’m angry he wants Zara and not me.

Mostly...I’m scared.

While locked at that warehouse, I realized a lot of things, but that was then, and this is now. It’s amazing what fearing for your life does to your brain.

I can’t be that needy.

I will not be that woman who forces Cole to eventually say, hey, listen, you’re pretty and all, and thanks for having my baby, but let’s be friends.

Or worse, let’s be friends who fuck.

I couldn’t deal with that.

Although I’m vulnerable enough right now that I could agree to it, and I hate myself for that. He won’t date anyone else if I’m...god, listen to me. That is not the belief system of a strong, confident woman who loves and respects herself.

But I still could say yes.

I don’t trust myself. So, it’s better if I just send him home, and we discuss how this is going to work between us co-parenting Zara.

“Scar.” I turn, and Cole is right behind me. I spot Zara in her bassinet.

My eyes lift to his, and I feel shorter than ever in my bare feet. My body reacts, imagining him scooping me up and kissing me.

Ugh.

I’m so pathetic.

Then he shocks me by cupping my face and tugging me close.

“What?” My hands slide over his pecs and abs, and my mouth waters. This man is perfection. Every single inch of him.

“I want you to come home with me. To my house.” Cole’s thumb brushes over my cheekbone. I almost purr, but then his words hit me.

“No. I can’t.” I start to pull away, but he holds me firmly. “Cole. Zara’s bedroom and everything is set up. My things. Everything. It’s my home.”

And my heart.

“Just wait a minute. Think about this.” His eyes hold mine and darken. “Chen could be anywhere. My security is better, my neighborhood better. You and Zara will be safer.”

Damn him.

He’s right.

“But what about...I guess if it’s just for a few more days.”

He doesn’t reply.

There’s no way I can risk putting my baby in danger, and if I wasn’t strong enough to protect myself when I was pregnant, I’m not now that I’ve just given birth.

I need to let him help me.

Zara is his daughter, too.

“Okay.”

Cole surprises the shit out of me by lowering his head and gently kissing my lips. My hand touches my lips as he smiles, then turns back to Zara.

It’s not the first kiss he’s given me in the past few days since the kiss.

He’s kissed my forehead.

He’s kissed the back of my hand.

He kissed the top of my head in the middle of the night when he thought I was sleeping.

What I didn’t catch were the words he whispered as he did it. Could have been crazy bitch.

But I’m starting to think it wasn’t.

“I BETTER TELL my mother that she’s a grandma,” I say as Cole drives us home.

I share a photo of Zara, who is thankfully still asleep in the back seat, dressed in her cute pink pelican onesie with matching hat. His mom, dad and sister have all visited the past few days, and their response made me cry.

“Oh darling, she is just beautiful. She looks like her daddy,” Maggie said, and Cole hugged his mom’s shoulder, looking emotional.

It was another reminder of what I didn’t have. Also, what I could have. Not as Cole’s partner, but as Zara’s mom. Unless he decided to cut me out like some single dads do. My sense is that he wouldn’t do that.

“You should’ve done it earlier.” He frowns.

“She didn’t even come to my baby shower, so I doubt she cares.” I shrug.

“She’ll care,” Cole says, turning onto my street.

“About herself. Not me. Not Zara.”

When he parks the car, he turns to face me. “I know it must hurt, but you have me now. My family. They are your family now, too.”

My lips part as tears fill my eyes.

“But they aren’t, though,” I whisper.

He frowns, cupping my face. “Yeah, they are. Come on. Let’s get you packed and home to my place.”

Home.

Cole isn’t telling me something. My senses are on alert. If he thinks we’re staying long term, he’s joking. But I appreciate how amazing he’s been.

It feels like more than that.

Perhaps he’s adjusting to being a father. It’s a big moment for all of us.

“Thank you,” I place my hand over his. “You are an amazing father already, Cole. If I never tell you again.”

His frown turns into a smile, then he starts laughing, his hand falling away. “Okay, good. I’ll file that away forever.”

I grin, then bite my lip. “Man, I hope we don’t kill her.”

“Jesus, Scar. We’re not going to kill her. Don’t say shit like that.”

I open the door and shrug. “Just keeping it real.”

“Real crazy,” he mutters, climbing out and opening the back door to get our daughter. “At least she’s not called Rainbow.”

I chuckle as I walk to my front door and unlock it. That was the longest brewing joke in the history of jokes.

And totally worth it.