Page 5
CHAPTER 5
GUNNAR
I can hear the muffled sounds of the crowd anticipating our entrance as we stand in the tunnel, waiting to walk to the dugout. Our team manager, Declan, just made his opening night statements to us in the clubhouse, and we’re ready to go out there. Batting practice was fun, but now with a sold-out crowd and being moments away from starting, my body is buzzing with adrenaline. I bounce up and down and swing my arms to keep everything warm and focus on the things I need to do tonight.
Keep your eyes on that ball, Gunnar.
Focus and follow through.
Keep calm and don’t get anxious.
“Are you ready for this, McNeer?” Tripp Nash, our team catcher, asks me. “Home crowd is going to go crazy seeing you in Terrors black and white pinstripe.”
“Looks better on you than that white, red, and blue boring shit you used to wear.” I shoot Damien Donovan, our first baseman, a smirk at his words and he laughs.
“I’m looking good and feeling good, fellas. I’m fired up and ready to get our first win at home.” I don’t lie when I tell them I’m fired up, but my stomach is also in knots. This is the first time in thirteen years I’m starting an opening night with a different team. I have mixed emotions about it. I’m excited to be with a team that has the potential to win it all, but I’m also nervous and wonder if this might be my last year in the league. I have one more year left on my contract that the Terrors took over. Will I perform well enough for them to want to re-sign me? The few spring training games I’ve played with them went well, but there’s still a lot to get used to with my new teammates and coaches.
“Then let’s do this!” Tripp turns around and I follow the boys to the dugout. I can hear the roar of the crowd as I walk out onto the field. I raise my hand and wave, and the crowd gets louder. I see signs with my name welcoming me to Nashville. I point and give thumbs up to every sign that I can see while I jog to my position to start warm-ups. I quickly glance up at the suites and I’m able to locate Izzy holding up a sign reading “Go Daddy!” in bold black letters. I chuckle and wave at her and my parents before focusing on warm-ups. After taking a couple of catches and practicing some plays, I feel the sweat piercing through my skin, signaling that my body is loose and ready. I jog back to the dugout and drink some water before its time to line up on the foul line. Once both teams are in position, the announcer welcomes everyone to Music City Park and player introductions commence. I try to tune it all out and use this time to center myself and my emotions, but when my name is called and the crowd jumps to their feet, it’s hard to ignore my feelings. My chest gets tight at the standing ovation I’m being given. I take off my ball cap and salute the crowd in acknowledgment.
“That's what we’re talking about, McNeer!” Chase Thorne, our third baseman, yells out at me while clapping along with the crowd. It makes me proud knowing that my team and the local community are excited for me to be here.
Don’t let them down, Gunnar.
Once introductions for both teams are finished, it’s time for the National Anthem. “Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and remove your hats as we honor our nation and those who protect our freedom. We are honored to have two-time music award winner Gavin McNeer with us to sing our national anthem.”
My head whips around to see Gavin running out onto the field to the microphone. I had no idea that he agreed to sing the national anthem, but I’m not surprised he didn’t tell me. I would’ve told him no, not wanting the team to keep bothering my famous brother with “favors” now that I’m here. I know Gavin is a big boy and can tell them no whenever he wants to, but it still rubs me the wrong way that they asked him without my permission.
He gives me a wink before the music begins and then he starts singing. I can’t stop my eyes from getting a little bit teary watching him perform. That little bastard was blessed with such a beautiful voice, and every time I listen to him, I’m in awe of how far he has come in life. Fireworks start shooting off from the scoreboard as he sings the lyrics about the rockets and bombs bursting, the crowd oohing and awing over the colors in the night sky. I look back up at the suite and my family is all standing there. I get a little choked up from the emotions of being in this moment with them and my teammates. Before I know it, Gavin hits the end notes and slays one of the hardest songs in our country’s history to sing. As soon as he finishes, he runs over and gives me a big hug. “Go fucking kick ass tonight. I love you, Brother,” I hear him tell me over the thundering noise of the crowd.
“I love you,” I tell him before he lets me go and runs off the field to go back up to his suite. The music starts blaring AC/DC‘s “For Those About To Rock” and I start getting pumped up. The opposing team’s batter makes his way out of their dugout, and I walk out to my position at shortstop.
“Let’s fucking go,” I yell out to the guys as we get the game started.
* * *
“M cNeer!” My teammate, Carter Callahan, calls out three hours later while we’re walking back to the clubhouse after defeating the California Comets. “That was fucking incredible! What a game you had. Congratulations!” He pats me on the back and other teammates echo his sentiment.
“Everyone kicked ass tonight,” I tell the guys who are around me as we enter the clubhouse. The coaches follow us in, and we all gather around Declan for his speech.
“Great game tonight, fellas. You kept the momentum going for nine straight innings. You stayed calm when we were down. We had some bombs hit out of the park and incredible catches were made by our boys in the outfield.” He points at Kelton James, Jake Reynolds, and Evan Parker. “You guys saved our asses tonight, along with some phenomenal pitching.” We start clapping for our pitchers, Max Murphy and Carter Callahan. “I’m going to hand it over now to Coach Wayne to do the honors of giving out the Golden Louie.”
I watch Chris Wayne, one of our hitting coaches, grab a yellow kid’s wiffle-ball bat from his cubby. I cross my arms over my chest, curious as to what this is all about. “All right boys, I think we all can agree on who deserves to win the Golden Louie tonight. With two home runs and three assists in his first game, the Golden Louie goes to Gunnar McNeer!” He hands me the bat and I start chuckling, not knowing what the hell to do with this thing.
Coach sees my questionable look and laughs. “Sorry, McNeer, you only get this bad boy for one night unless every game for you is like tonight.”
“Speech!” Eric Wiseman, our second baseman, yells out and the whole team starts chanting.
I shake my head and chuckle. I walk toward the middle of the room, and they all start clapping. Since I wasn’t prepared for a speech, I think of something short and sweet. “Gonna be honest, boys. Tonight was emotional and at first, I wasn’t sure how to feel. You all have made me feel like I’ve been part of this team since the beginning. Having my family here and you guys behind me made tonight that much sweeter. It’s an honor to be with this club and I look forward to many more W’s on the books. Thanks, guys.” Everyone claps and I walk back to my locker.
Declan then continues on, “All right, fellas. We have two more home games before we hit the road. Go shower up and get some rest. We’ll see you tomorrow at 12:30 p.m.”
I start taking off my uniform and throw it into the laundry bin for the equipment managers to wash before I head to the showers. I finish quickly so I can see my family, who’s waiting upstairs in the suite. Once I’m dressed, I start walking out of the clubhouse but stop short because I momentarily forgot which way to go.
“You lost, Gunnar?” Murph notices me looking around in confusion and I laugh.
“I don’t know where the fuck I’m going, and I need to meet my family in their suite.”
“I’m heading the same way, so follow me.” We take the elevator up to the suite level and as we walk, he points out signs to help me remember how to get there in the future.
“You killed it tonight. We need to go out and celebrate. When can you get a night out? I know your daughter’s not here permanently yet, but we definitely need to grab a bite to eat sometime.”
“I would like that. Izzy leaves with my parents on Saturday afternoon, so after the game would actually be perfect.”
“Let’s make it a night then.” Murph confirms.
“Sounds great.” We shake hands and I thank him for helping me get to the suites. I walk in and everyone starts cheering.
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” Izzy yells and runs to me. I catch her and give her the tightest hugs.
“What did you think of the game, Isabear?”
“It was so much fun, and you did so good, Daddy!”
I chuckle, not believing she really understands my stats for this evening. “I love you, Iz. Thanks for being here tonight.”
“I can’t love anybody more than I love you, Daddy.” She wraps her little arms around my neck and kisses me on the cheek. When she says those things, my heart turns to a big pile of mush. She’s such a sweet, caring little girl and I know my mom has influenced her by teaching her proper manners and empathy. I hate that she’s growing up without her own mother, but Tasha has made her own choice and poor decisions.
“Proud of you, Son. I know tonight was difficult and you literally knocked it out of the park.” My dad walks up and gives me a hug, followed by my mom.
“That’s what I’m talking about, Brother!” Gavin claps my hand before pulling me in for a one-armed hug. “Your two-run dinger was sick. I have no doubt it was a big FU to Texas?” Gavin asks and I have to laugh because I was thinking exactly the same thing while I was running around the bases.
“You know it.” I smirk. I put Izzy down and watch her run off to her cousin. “Hey, it means a lot that you all are here tonight. You didn’t have to buy this suite, nor did you have to sing the national anthem. I know you’re busy and have so many other things to do, like spending time with Aly and Austin.” He leaves to go back on tour tomorrow and the fact that he and his family are still here this late at night makes me feel guilty.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He squeezes my shoulder, and I gulp down the lump forming in my throat. “Get used to seeing us here.”
Aly comes up behind Gavin and gives me a hug. “We will be here as much as we can to support you and Izzy. You’re not alone, Gunnar.” She gives me a warm smile and I kiss her on her cheek. Gavin hit the lottery when he met and fell in love with Aly. His relationship with her is the only thing I’m envious about when it comes to his life.
I hear Izzy’s laughter as she runs around the suite chasing after Austin, and a sense of belonging washes over me. This is where we needed to be.
This is our new home and it’s starting to feel right.