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John

H aunted.

That was what Summerhurst felt like that night.

I couldn’t sleep in my bed, where Claire and I had cuddled, slept, and made love.

I couldn’t stand to look around the room— our room—and see her things, lying exactly where she’d left them just a few days before.

The closet was full of her clothes and her scent.

The desk was covered with books she was reading, and lesson plans she was making, all in her neat, pretty handwriting.

The rest of the house was no better. The study was home to her art studio; her paintings hung on every wall; and the kitchen and living room were full of things she’d made and loved.

When I told her that this was her home now, too, she’d taken me seriously.

Every inch of this house held memories of her now.

At the same time, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

I sat on the floor at the foot of our bed, leaning back against the frame.

Only the bedside lamp on Claire’s side provided light.

A half-empty whiskey bottle sat next to me.

I stared blankly at the floor, twisting my wedding band around my finger, waiting for daybreak.

I needed to rest for the long day ahead of me, but if drinking hadn’t helped, I didn’t think there was much hope.

A soft knock on the door made me look up. When I didn’t answer, it opened, and Kimmy poked her head in. Her expression softened when she saw me.

“How you holding up?” she asked, gentler than I may’ve ever heard her sound.

I took a swig from the whiskey bottle. “Awesome. Thanks.”

“Mind if I join?”

I shook my head and moved over so she could sit next to me. She took the bottle from me and took a swig of her own. Neither of us talked for a while.

“We’ll find her,” Kimmy finally said. “No matter what it takes.”

“I know.”

“It doesn’t matter what they said at the council meeting, you know. Nearly three years ago, we left on our own and look what we accomplished. We can do it again.”

I grunted and took another drink. I’d called an emergency council meeting when I got back. It hadn’t gone well.

Even after everything I’d done—after everything Claire had done—nobody wanted to go with me to find her. Except Danny, but he was still in no shape to go anywhere. As soon as I told them that a compound was involved, everyone cowered. They were scared—for themselves and their families.

Some part of me totally understood. If someone had asked me to leave Claire behind and go on what might be a wild goose chase, I’d hesitate, too.

But another part of me was angry. Angry because I’d risked everything— everything —for this place and its people, and when push came to shove, most of them wouldn’t do the same for me when I needed it most.

Kimmy, of course, stuck by me the way she always did. She’d been the only person who always had my back…until I met Claire.

Oh, they’d all promised supplies. Food, clothing, ammunition, and survival gear had started arriving at the house as soon as the meeting ended.

The Armstrongs, McNeils, and Hardings had promised to look after Summerhurst again while we were gone, which was no small amount of work, especially with the farm now running.

I’d dropped Poppy off at the McNeils’, who’d be caring for her while we were gone.

I sighed. They’re supportive in the ways they can be, I guess.

“Last time,” I said, “we weren’t up against a fortified giant with way more resources and technology than us. Even I have to admit…it doesn’t look good for us, Kim.”

I took yet another drink. “But I have to try.”

Kimmy squeezed my hand. “Of course you do— we do. We love her.”

Her voice shook, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

“She did it to protect me,” I croaked. “That’s why she got taken. Every time I think about that, I feel sick. I failed her.”

“Do you think you could’ve taken all of them on by yourself?”

I blew out a breath. “No.”

Kimmy smiled sadly. “Then I think Claire was just doing what you would’ve done for her.”

My chest ached, but I couldn’t let the pain in. If I did, I’d be useless.

“Are you ready?” she asked after a moment.

“Yeah,” I replied. “Everything’s packed.”

“Me too,” she said. “First light, we can leave. But we both need sleep.”

I snorted. “Good luck. What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the last hour?”

She squeezed my hand again. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

I nodded. She disappeared for a few minutes, then came back with our sleeping bags in her arms. She spread them out next to each other on the floor by mine and Claire’s bed.

“Let’s try this,” Kimmy said softly. “So you can feel close to her…but you don’t have to sleep in the bed.”

I swallowed hard. It was a rare gift to have two people in my life who always seemed to know what I needed.

I got into my sleeping bag, and Kimmy turned out the lamp before doing the same.

“Thank you,” I whispered into the darkness.

“Anytime. I love you, John. I know I don’t say it enough, but I do.”

I didn’t have it in me to respond, but she seemed to understand, because she kissed my cheek and turned over to sleep. And when I closed my eyes, sleep finally found me.

By the time dawn broke, I was already up.

I’d made the last preparations for leaving, checked and double-checked everything, and Kimmy and I had saddled up Ghost and Bella for the long ride ahead.

Now, we waited on the front porch for Danny and Jenna, who’d promised to see us off.

We’d already said our goodbyes to everyone else after the council meeting.

When the wagon pulled up, though, it wasn’t just Danny and Jenna in it. Noah and Isla were there, too, with baby Ely strapped to Isla’s chest.

Isla pulled me into a one-armed hug, and the baby cooed in his wrap at her breast. I forced a painful smile.

“This is one of those times,” I said, clearing my throat, “when I really hate you for cursing me, all those years ago.”

She gave a watery laugh, stroking Ely’s blonde head. “I’m sorry. But I gotta say, seeing you two at your wedding…I think it was worth it.”

As I moved back, Noah gave me a nod of acknowledgement, which I figured was all I’d get from him. He’d always been a man of few words. So, it surprised me when he said, “Sorry I can’t go with you. It’s just—”

“It’s okay, man,” I interrupted, clapping him on the shoulder. “I get it. You’ve got a family to think about. Just…take care of them for me, alright?”

He nodded, putting an arm around Isla’s shoulders. “Always.”

I turned to Danny, who gave me a smile that looked as painful as my own.

“You still sure you don’t want my help?” he asked with a forced chuckle. “Pretty sure I could take a few of them out with these.” He made a swishing motion with his crutches, and I snorted.

“Absolutely not,” Kimmy interrupted, folding her arms. “I did not set that leg just so that you could go and fuck it up again.”

He shrugged, unbothered, in that typical Danny way. Jenna had been mostly quiet, but as we turned toward the horses, she caught my hand. Her bottom lip trembled as she looked at me. She suddenly looked so young—the way I always remembered her in my head, as a twelve-year-old girl.

“Just bring her back, okay?” she said in a near-whisper.

My throat tightened. “I will.”

For the second time in my life, I left home behind without knowing when, or if, I’d ever be back.

The forest was quiet.

We’d broken for lunch around noon, sitting by a small creek to eat and let the horses have a drink.

The whole ride had been silent other than occasional navigation talks.

We knew the general area we were headed, but not much more.

We were loosely following an old logging road on our maps to get there, but it’d probably take a day or two on horseback.

When we set out again, I stared up at the grey sky. It’d been overcast all morning. Hopefully the sky wasn’t about to open up and drench us.

The thought of rain triggered the memory of the first time Claire came to my bed. It’d been storming that night, the first time she kissed me. The first time I thought there was more between us than just basic attraction. The first time I thought maybe I could love her, if she let me.

Sunlight peeked through the clouds a moment later, and I was hit with the sound of her voice, singing to me in the flickering lantern light at my grandparents’ grave.

I am the sun that shines.

I urged Ghost into a gallop, speeding ahead. I heard Kimmy’s call of confusion, but I could hardly breathe. The forest felt like it was closing in on me.

I am the wind that sings.

I weaved Ghost through the trees, as though trying to outrun the haunting song in my head. I finally stopped in a clearing, panting heavily, as though I’d just run a mile.

I am everywhere and nowhere at all .

I waited for my heartbeat to slow down. Breathed through the pain that sliced through my chest every time I heard her voice in my head. Slowly, the sounds of the woods came back, and leaves rustled in the breeze.

Fate was a cold bitch, though, because at that moment, a bluebird landed on a nearby branch, tilting its head and twittering like the world hadn’t already ended. Like there was reason to hope, when she’d taken all of them with her.

The agony of loss rose again, but alongside it, something else took root inside me: cold, calculated fury.

They’d stolen her from me. They would pay in blood. I’d set their whole world on fire and gladly watch it burn. They would suffer—from now until I had her back in my arms. I’d end all of them without a thought, without a regret. I smiled grimly.

I’d become their worst fucking nightmare: a Wastelander, a brutal and savage outsider, with no mercy and nothing left to lose.

END OF BOOK TWO