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It was the word princess , said in that disparaging tone I used to use with her when we first met, that set her off. I hadn’t done that in a long time. Claire’s face fell, and I felt instantly guilty for causing her more pain, but I’d already tried everything else.

“Hard?” Claire shot back, full of hurt and outrage. She shot to her feet and just about capsized the canoe. I grabbed the sides to steady it, and luckily, it stayed up.

“Is that the word you’d use, John? To describe the way I’m being hunted by a group of fanatics, including my own mother, to be fed to their immortal leader?

Or to talk about how my once-best friend not only used me, but gave me away to the same people who want to chain me to an altar and cut my heart out? ”

My plan had worked, and I stayed quiet. She needed this.

“Or maybe,” she continued, “the fact that I’ve had to work and fight so hard for the tiniest bit of acceptance in the Valley?

That I’ve never been able to have even a single moment of weakness, because the sharks were constantly circling, waiting for me to make a mistake?

That I’ve had to be so strong, all the time, for everyone, especially you? ”

“I never asked you for that.” I kept my voice neutral.

“You didn’t have to,” Claire answered, her voice finally breaking. “How could I be anything less, knowing that it’d drive a wedge between you and the people you love? That it’d just make everything harder for you, and I’d be a burden on you all over again?”

“A burden?” I repeated, dumbstruck. “Baby, you’re everything to me. Seeing how much you’ve grown—how much you’ve accomplished, with your teaching and your work around Summerhurst—made me fall even harder for you. All I ever tell people these days is how proud I am of you.”

Claire’s eyes shone with tears.

“ You are the person I love,” I continued, more fiercely. “Before all others. You think I give a shit about the rest of them if it means you suffer? I’d gladly burn it all down for you. I’d leave everything behind if you needed me to.”

“But I don’t want you to do that. You deserve to have the people who love you around you.”

“So do you,” I said gently. “So please, just…let me take care of you the way we both need me to. Let me hold you.”

There was longing in her expression as she stared at me, but she still hesitated. Bit her lip and said, “I’m scared if I do, I’ll just break apart.”

“I’m not afraid of your pain.”

Her shoulders slumped, her face twisted with everything she’d been holding back.

She carefully lowered herself on the bench next to me.

Slowly, I opened my arms to her, and something suddenly snapped.

She lay her head against my shoulder and gave in.

Sobbed loudly, uncontrollably, in a way that made my chest ache.

She sounded so heartbroken and defeated .

“Oh my God,” I muttered, wrapping my arms around her, cradling the back of her head in my hand.

“Whatever I’ve done here,” Claire sobbed, “she’s gone because I failed her. I should’ve seen it coming, tried to help her more.”

I didn’t know if she meant Holly or Asha or both. I sighed and just held her, let her cry.

“And even after everything I’ve learned and all I’ve done…I’m still so afraid. Of the Order. Of the future. I’m still so weak.”

“Hey,” I cut in. “You are not weak. Being traumatized by all this shit isn’t weakness; it’s basic humanness.”

“But the problem is, Asha was sort of right,” Claire said miserably. “I’m not built like you and Kimmy. I’ll never be a hunter or a fighter. I’d never be able to last in the real Wasteland on my own.”

“Uh, you forgetting the two-month trip here? Besides, you have your own talents.”

She scoffed. “You can’t eat a painting or a song. I just…I wish I was better for you.”

Is that really what she thinks? The ache in my chest grew.

“You think I don’t know that you’re my sweet, soft girl?

” I murmured, kissing her hair. “You think I would change you? Never. I need your softness to remind me that there’s still good in this fucked up world.

More than that, every day, I see you and I know that my purpose is to protect the goodness that’s left in it. ”

She took a long, shuddering breath, leaning harder into me, and I cradled her.

“What you did for the kids of this community is more than I could do,” I continued. “Sure, maybe you won’t find the key to basic survival in a painting or a song. But you might find hope. Without that, there’s no point to the survival part anyway.”

There was a pause. “I guess that’s true.”

I huffed a laugh. “Sweetheart, you’re talking about rebuilding civilization like it’s nothing.

Your part is not nothing—you’re passing on knowledge from hundreds of generations.

And you don’t have to be strong in the way that you’re talking about, because I’m your strength.

And you’re my heart. That’s why we need each other. ”

I didn’t know how long we sat there together, but by the time Claire looked up at me again, the sun was hidden behind the clouds, and the sky had darkened. Her eyes were still wet, but she looked relieved. Like a weight had been lifted.

“Better?” I asked softly.

“Y-yes,” she hiccoughed. “I didn’t know how much I needed that. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant these last few weeks. I was just…surviving.”

“I know, baby,” I said, kissing her forehead.

“Listen, okay? It’s going to take time for us to heal.

But everything that’s happened in the last few months…

that’s all over now. It's you and me, okay? Forget about everything else for a moment. We’re getting married in two weeks, and this is our new beginning. Nothing else matters.”

To my relief, she nodded. “You’re right. I want to…start over. Put all this behind us. It’ll be hard, but…I want to try.”

“I’m glad,” I replied, taking her face in my hands. “Lean on me when you need help, beautiful. I won’t think less of you. We’re in this together.”

Right as I finished, the sky opened up and we were assaulted by rain. The downpour was instant and intense. I was soaked in seconds, and Claire looked much the same, her red hair sticking to her wet skin.

But to my delight, she started laughing. Real, deep, happy laughter. And when she met my eye, she kissed me fiercely, hanging her arms around my neck.

My whole world was in that kiss. All the moments we’d had together, and all the ones to come. Our marriage. Our life together. Everything I’d ever wanted, given to me in just one moment. The connection between us couldn’t be broken. What we had was stronger than what we’d been through.

When we broke apart, Claire giggled again and smoothed sopping wet hair out of my face.

“You look a bit like a drowned rat, darling,” she said, and I chuckled.

“I’m taking you somewhere special,” I said. “After the wedding. A little honeymoon. A chance to get away from everything.”

She lit up in a way that made me happier than I’d been in two weeks.

“Where are we going?”

I smiled. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

The rain continued all around us as I paddled toward the shore. The surface of the lake was nothing but ripples, and thunder rumbled in the distance. I was soaked to the bone—we both were—but I didn't care.

I never wanted to stop being this happy together, even in the middle of a storm.