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I hesitated, afraid of what I was about to hear, but I’d asked for the truth. I waited, and he swallowed hard before continuing.

“I tracked three men back to their camp, prepared to just find Allie and go. But…they had maybe a dozen kids there. Working. Serving them. Wearing ripped, dirty clothes, looking like hell. And while I was doing recon, a boy went into a tent with one of the men and didn’t come out for a while. When he left, he was crying, shaking.”

John’s hand trembled in mine.

“I had to end it,” he said, icy anger creeping into his voice. “I couldn’t just leave them there.”

I nodded numbly, squeezing his hand, and John gave a grim smile.

“They weren’t expecting me, so it wasn’t hard.

Took out two of them but kept the third alive.

Bound him up and left him there till I got the kids to safety.

They were all from the Post, as we call it, so it wasn’t so hard to get them home.

I wanted to take Allie home, too…but she wouldn’t let me.

She was obviously scared, so she stuck to me like glue. ”

I bit my lip. “Did they…hurt her?”

John grimaced. “She was new, so from what she said, they just made her do chores around the camp. They were planning to leave soon, take the kids with them to sell.”

He took a deep breath and continued. “I made Allie hide nearby while I went back to deal with the last guy. I wanted to know where they were going to take the kids, and who they planned to sell them to. Only he wasn’t going to give it up so easy. So…I had to be persuasive.”

The room was silent except for the crackling of the fire, and the air felt suddenly heavy. Finally, I got the nerve to speak.

“What did you do?”

John cracked a grim, unhappy smile. “What didn’t I do to that bastard? Reduced him to a bloody, snivelling puddle on the ground. He told me what I wanted to know…eventually.”

He looked as though he’d aged a decade, his voice hollow.

“I took Allie home,” he said after a pause. “Then spent the next couple months tracking down more traffickers, and a few of their biggest customers. So nobody could come after her again—or any other kid.”

He let out a long breath. “Obviously, word got around the Valley that I brought Allie back. And people started saying they wanted me to be chairman, that I’d shown real leadership instead of just promising it. Old Jameson didn’t like that. Not one bit.”

“But it wasn’t your fault,” I said with a frown. “You didn’t know they’d react that way.”

John gave a bitter chuckle. “You say that as if it mattered to him. At first, he was as relieved as everyone else, but once they started talking about the chairman seat, he started saying I’d done it just to play the hero.

That I’d put everyone at risk by going after a trafficking ring that could’ve hunted down the Valley and retaliated.

There was infighting between people who supported me and those who sided with him. ”

Anger surged through me, burning in my belly like hot coals.

“Why did they listen? How the hell did he have so much power?”

John shrugged. “The Jamesons have always had the biggest farm in the Valley. It’d be hard to find someone who doesn’t owe them a favour or two, which is just how the old man likes it…

and he has five sons just like him. Sure, our inner circle never liked his family, but not everyone feels the same way. ”

“Is this why you didn’t become an outrider?” I asked, and his brief pause made my heart ache.

“Not directly,” he said after a moment. “But the Chief was a friend of his, and…well, I trained with Danny, and we were evenly matched. The Chief took on Danny, but not me. As far as I can tell, the only difference between us was that Jameson didn’t hate Danny’s family.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “So, what happened after the infighting?”

“That’s when the PNC situation got more urgent. We’d started reducing the use of vehicles to conserve energy. So, Kimmy and I left. I’d already promised Granddad we would before he died, and things being so tense made it easier to go.”

And then I’d met him on that rooftop over a year into their search. Though it’d only been about eight months since then, it felt like a lifetime ago .

“So,” John continued, “because he apparently saw me as a threat, and now I’m bringing in outsiders…I’m not gonna become his favourite guy anytime soon.”

We sat in silence for a moment. I knew John was waiting for me to speak, but I didn’t know what to say. My emotions felt muddled.

“If there’s one thing I want you to always know,” he said, his voice breaking slightly, “it’s that I’d never hurt you, Claire—never. No matter what I’ve done in the past. And if I’ve broken your trust and you’re afraid of me again, then I…I’ll try to earn it back. If you’ll let me.”

“Wait, what?” I said, frowning. “Why would you say that?”

“I tortured a man,” he said with a shrug. “And while I didn’t torture the others, I didn’t give them painless deaths, either. I did it to stop them, but I also wanted revenge, and I didn’t even feel bad. Still don’t. So, if you’re back to thinking I’m a monster, I don’t like it…but I get it.”

I gaped at him. I hadn’t been afraid of him in a long time, but it struck me how deeply my prejudice in those days had affected him. Shame rose inside me, along with a desire to show him the truth.

“What would you do if someone took me?” I asked quietly. “The same thing?”

John met my gaze, his eyes intent.

“Far worse, baby,” he said, emphasizing each word. “I’d become their shadow—the thing they’re afraid of after dark. I’d hunt them down, no matter where they were, and their deaths would be as slow and painful as I could make them.”

I swallowed hard. Regardless of her intentions, Asha had been every bit as wrong as I’d thought, and I felt even more ashamed for doubting him.

John was my protector. Always had been, always would be.

My silence clearly worried him, because he sighed and said, “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I see that now. It’s just…before you, I never had to…discuss things before. Never had to share like this.”

“But you share with Kimmy,” I said gently. “Why, then—?”

“That’s different,” he said, with a frustrated shake of his head. “I’ve known Kimmy my whole life, and I’m used to her. She’s not going to get under my skin. With you, I’m…”

He faltered, his jaw ticking, and he looked so uncomfortable that I felt a twinge of empathy. I wasn’t exactly an expert on trust, either .

“Vulnerable?” I offered.

He swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

I moved closer and touched his cheek. He leaned into my hand reflexively, and true to his word, he looked vulnerable in a way that tugged at the edges of my heart.

“Silly John,” I chided gently. “You think that your incredible, bone-deep capacity for love is your weakness? When it’s really your greatest strength?”

John frowned. “What I did—what I’ve done—”

“—is protect the ones you love with a ferocity I’ve never seen in anyone else,” I interceded firmly. “It’s why I’m alive. If you have darkness inside of you, it’s no worse than anyone else’s. At least you harness yours for good.”

He shook his head again. “That’s not the problem. I’ve accepted that part of me…and I didn’t care about whatever darkness I had until I met you.”

I stroked my thumb along his jaw, seized by the urge to soothe him.

“You think I don’t know what kind of man you are?” I asked softly.

John fixed me with his amber gaze. “I never cared so much before if anyone thought I was a good man until you. Don’t get me wrong, I always had a conscience, and tried to live up to what my grandparents taught me was right.”

He paused, seeming to wrestle with emotion before continuing. “But…if you didn’t think I was good, I don’t know what I’d do, because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m fucking crazy about you, baby.”

I smiled. “I’d heard something like that, yes.”

He covered my hand with his and brought it to his lips, and my heart ached anew.

“And that night a few weeks ago, when I said it was a weakness,” he said, “it was because in that moment, I felt perfect, and I thought, if anyone ever took this from me, I’d just…

die. I wouldn’t want to keep surviving without it—without you.

And that scares the shit out of me. I never felt like I had something so good that it would destroy me completely to lose it. ”

He blew out a breath. “When my grandparents died, I thought that was the worst pain I could feel. But now I know that it’s not. And if I pulled away that night, it’s because I don’t always know how to deal with that.”

The overwhelming tenderness in my chest wouldn’t let up. I moved in and kissed him—slowly, gently, like he might break at the slightest mishandling.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I murmured, our lips an inch apart. “And how you could doubt that I adore you, exactly as you are, is a mystery.”

The hint of a smile tugged at the corners of John’s mouth, but he still held back.

“You didn’t always feel that way, though. With how scared of me you used to be…”

I kissed him again, cutting him off. “I was raised on lies about Wastelanders, and I was wrong. Besides, that was before I knew how charming you could be. And the heart of gold hidden underneath that gruff, sexy Wastelander exterior.”

He couldn’t hold off anymore; he laughed. “And before I knew that a lion’s heart lived inside that little mouse, hmm?”

I rolled my eyes. “That remains to be seen.”

He chuckled but then turned serious again.

“I promise I’ll be more open with you…or at least, if I have a good reason to keep something to myself, I’ll tell you.”

I nodded, satisfied, and he pressed his lips to my forehead and held them there. A halo of warmth surrounded me, and despite the fact that I felt weak with hunger, I was perfectly content.

“Claire,” he murmured against my skin after a beat, “I wanted—”

The cabin door banged open, and Kimmy and Asha bustled in, a dead turkey and a cooking pot full of snow between them.

“Dinner,” Kimmy said briskly, holding out the carcass. “Found this guy nesting near a lake.”

I gasped in delight and took it, reflecting on how much I really had changed, that the sight of a dead turkey was cause for celebration rather than disgust. The thought of eating a hot meal made my empty stomach growl audibly.

John sighed, shooting me a look that said he regretted ending the conversation.

I shrugged and gave him a small smile. We’d said all the important things.

John and I prepared the turkey while Kimmy set up the cooking supplies.

Asha set the pot of snow on the woodstove to boil.

She gave me a pointed look, and I knew she wondered what had passed between me and John.

I wasn’t sure she’d be pleased by the happy resolution, but I resolved to give her time.

We all needed to be patient with each other and work harder to trust—even when it was painful or difficult.

We wouldn’t survive this trip otherwise.