Page 32

Claire

J ohn was gone for most of the afternoon.

We stayed in the kitchen with Sarah, who pushed more food on us, until I couldn’t have eaten another bite if I tried.

My stomach had probably shrunk to the size of a walnut.

While Kimmy chatted amiably with Sarah, I took the opportunity to talk quietly with Asha.

“What do you think so far?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Honestly, it doesn’t feel real. Probably won’t till we find out whether we’re getting thrown out or not.”

I bit my lip, thinking. “We could offer to help them with their teacher problem.”

Asha made a face. “I don’t think so, Claire.”

“Why not? I know they’ll be suspicious, but we could offer it as a trade. Something useful that they need. They could even have someone supervise us if they want.”

“Seriously?” she said in a low voice, glancing at Sarah to make sure she was busy talking to Kimmy.

“First of all, if these kids are anything like average Wastelanders, they’re so far behind that it’ll take a minor miracle to even teach them to read.

Tiring, and ultimately pointless, since they’ll consider anything you teach them to be useless anyway. ”

Useless. The word hit me like a punch in the gut. That was how I’d felt for so long. When Sarah had said they needed a teacher, I’d finally felt like there might be a void I could fill. But maybe I was kidding myself.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad,” Asha said, softening her tone. “I just don’t want you to get hurt when they don’t appreciate you for your gifts.”

I nodded, but I felt hurt anyway. Maybe she was right. After all, even John had thought me useless in the beginning. Maybe I just have to keep my head down and work quietly.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t had practice.

At that moment, the front door opened again, and a cacophony of voices followed.

John appeared first, chuckling at something the man walking next to him said.

His companion was taller, freckled, and wore a teasing grin.

His mid-length strawberry blond hair matched his thick beard, and he wore a leather hunting jacket similar to John’s.

I knew who he must be: John’s best friend, Danny.

“This your girl?” Danny said, nodding in my direction.

“Sure is,” John replied, and his proud smile melted me. I instantly forgot about the conversation with Asha.

“Pleased to meet you,” I said, extending my hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Hopefully not too much,” Danny replied wryly as he shook my hand. “Don’t want you to rethink staying with us.”

“Not much chance of that, thankfully.”

He turned back to John, still holding onto my hand.

“She’s so damn polite,” Danny said with a grin. “Where’d you find this one, and why the hell is she with you?”

John nudged him hard enough to make him choke out a laugh, and with a warm squeeze of my hand, he let me go.

I couldn’t stop a smile from curving my lips.

I’d heard a lot about Danny’s inexhaustible sense of humour, his inability to take life too seriously, but his presence also radiated a natural friendliness that put me immediately at ease.

His playful jab at John lacked any trace of malice; he was warm, earnest, and clearly overjoyed to see his old friend.

I already understood why John liked him .

Danny was followed by a much younger woman with shoulder-length brown hair and soft brown eyes.

She looked nineteen or twenty, with a slim build and a big, puffy winter jacket.

John introduced her as Jenna, Danny’s youngest sister—the one who’d been assistant teaching.

I wondered if I’d get a moment to ask her about it, but the thought was quickly banished by the arrival of three more people: a pretty, petite woman with long blonde hair; a big, hulking man with dark hair and a beard; and a little blonde baby, wrapped snugly in a sling at his mother’s breast.

They were introduced as Isla and Noah, along with baby Ely. I learned that Isla was the middle McNeil sister, and Noah was her husband and childhood friend. Kimmy squeaked with excitement on seeing the baby and hugged Isla, who laughed warmly.

“I’m so sorry I missed your delivery,” Kimmy said in a rush, “but oh my God! He’s precious .”

She immediately started cooing over the tiny infant, utterly distracted, and I laughed. Asha gave her enthusiasm a sidelong glance but held her tongue. Bruce and the two older Armstrong children joined us, and then the kitchen was full to bursting, everyone talking at once.

“We spoke to Abby,” Bruce said to me and John. “They’re calling the meeting for a few days from now. Everyone will be there.”

My stomach lurched, but John simply replied, “Thanks. We appreciate it.”

As though sensing my nerves, he then steered me into the living room.

Everyone followed us, since there was more space for socializing.

Isla approached me with a brilliant smile, her husband in tow, and John pecked my forehead before going to talk with Danny, Jenna, and Sarah.

Meanwhile, Kimmy had stolen Ely and was now kissing him all over, and the tiny baby wore an identical expression to his father, utterly unimpressed.

“Claire, I’m so excited to meet you,” Isla said, shaking my hand. The large man next to her said nothing, his face a stoic mask.

“Don’t mind Noah,” Isla said breezily. “He may look like he wants to be anywhere else, but he’s also delighted to meet you.”

Noah grunted in what I assumed was assent, and I couldn’t suppress a giggle.

“How old is your son?” I asked .

“Two and a half months,” Noah replied, his deep voice startling me, but I couldn’t miss the note of pride in his voice. “He didn’t want to come out at first. He loves his mother too much. Not that I blame him.”

Isla gave him a soft look, and my heart squeezed. I knew Isla had once dated John, but any possessiveness I may have felt was quelled by the way she looked at Noah; she clearly adored him.

Kimmy moved to hand Ely back to his mother, but Noah intercepted. It didn’t seem like such a big man should be able to cradle a baby so gently, but he did, snuggling Ely against his massive shoulder.

“Your shoulder’s bugging you,” he said to Isla, who opened her mouth to protest. “I’ll take him for a while. You have fun.”

Without another word, he walked into the hallway with Ely, and just before we were out of earshot, I swore I heard his deep, growly voice take on a higher, gentler tone as he spoke to his infant son.

Isla smiled after them, then began chattering away with me and Kimmy, asking us all about our trip and my background.

In return, Kimmy demanded all the details about her pregnancy and Ely’s birth, fussing over her.

Isla was bubbly, funny, and sweet, and didn’t seem to mind one whit that I didn’t belong there.

When John pulled me aside some time later, I had the distinct impression that I may have made a new friend.

John led me to the now-empty kitchen, stopping just inside the doorway. His eyes were lit with happiness and affection, and he stopped me in my tracks with a tender kiss.

“What’s up?” I asked when he moved back, smiling from ear to ear.

“I got something for you,” he answered as he reached into his pocket.

I shot him a quizzical look, and he withdrew a small ring box and opened it. There were two inside, both white gold. One was thin and delicate, and looked like two vines entwined together. The other was thicker, more masculine, with a simple adornment of two lines etched around its circumference.

“My parents’ wedding rings,” he said solemnly.

“With the way they died, during the virus…my grandparents didn’t get to keep most of their stuff.

These are the only things I have from my parents.

I wanted to show them to you before our wedding day, and have you wear my mother’s at the council meeting. ”

He took my left hand in his and slid the ring onto my finger. It was beautiful, and I knew what a big deal it was for him to give it to me. John treasured his grandparents, their home at Summerhurst, and his family memories. Giving me the ring meant that he thought of me as part of all that.

Given that, he probably didn’t expect that my reaction would be to burst into tears.

“Hey,” he murmured, drawing me close, his eyes wide with concern. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

To be fair, I was as surprised as he was by my sudden outpouring of emotion.

But it hit me all at once that staying here was still a massive question mark, and that I may not be able to keep all these new people that I had already begun to feel attached to.

More than that, if I couldn’t stay…I couldn’t ask John to abandon them.

This was his family. These were the people who had loved him his entire life.

“It’s not going to work,” I mumbled, swiping at my tears. “They won’t accept me, and I can’t…can’t ask you to leave this. They love you.”

John hugged me hard, and I couldn’t help but cling to him. Even if the worst happened, I knew I wouldn’t be able to graciously let him leave me. I was too selfish, and I loved him too much.

“Everything’ll be okay, sweetheart,” he said softly. “They will accept you. I promise.”

“Don’t lie. You don’t know that.”

I nearly jumped out of my skin at Asha’s voice. She was sitting on the other side of the room at the kitchen table, looking grim. I hadn’t even noticed her.

“Should’ve gone with the mineshaft when I had the chance,” John muttered, though I didn’t understand what he meant.

“Yeah, thanks for noticing I’m still here, by the way,” Asha said sourly, glaring at me. “Did I suddenly become invisible to you and Kimmy?”

“Definitely not invisible,” John said sardonically, then turned back to me. “Listen, okay? I know it’s going to be fine. I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t have a good reason to think so.”

Asha eyed him with suspicion. “What’s this big reason, then?”

“Stop, Asha,” I bit out, returning her glare. “Lay off him. ”

She sighed and turned away, and John rolled his eyes, then went right back to ignoring her. He lifted my chin so he could look in my eyes. “I can’t tell you how I know, but I need you to trust me on this, baby.”

His jaw was set, determined, and his eyes revealed no trace of nerves. I took a deep breath to steady myself, then said, “I do.”

“Good,” he replied, gently wiping away a tear with his thumb. “Christ, you had me worried you were getting cold feet for a minute there.”

I gave a watery laugh. “Never worry about that.”

“Everyone here has been drumming up support for you,” John said, kissing my ring. “It won’t go as badly as you think. A lot of people are ready for change.”

I nodded, feeling better. “Thank you for the ring. It’s beautiful. I’ll wear it proudly.”

He gave me that sweet, heart-stopping smile that he saved just for me, and my heart fluttered.

“Go mingle some more,” I said. “I want to talk with Asha.”

He shot a guarded look in her direction but nodded. “Alright. Call me if you need me.”

He headed back into the living room, and I went to sit across from Asha. She sat, arms crossed, her expression unreadable again.

“I’m sorry if we forgot you,” I said, “but nothing was stopping you from introducing yourself and talking to everyone. You were welcome.”

She scoffed. “I’m an afterthought, Claire. But I don’t have interest in mingling with a bunch of Wastelanders anyway.”

“Could you at least try for once?” I shot back, frustrated. “Living here is better than living anywhere else. Can you at least try to get along with people and act as though you’re happy to be here? Because I have news for you: nobody had to bring you here.”

“Yeah, I know, you’re already regretting it,” Asha retorted, rolling her eyes. “Just so you know, they all make promises like that at first—telling you it’s going to be fine, that they’ll take care of everything. It’s a lie they use to lull you into a false sense of security.”

My patience wore thin. “Stop projecting. Look, clearly, I don’t know everything you’ve been through, because you won’t tell me. But this isn’t the same thing, and if you won’t let this go, then I don’t know how this is going to work. It’s not fair to anyone.”

There was a heavy silence, and Asha sighed.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just…I don’t know what to do. It’s a new place, new everything. I’m just a little overwhelmed. I wish we were home.”

“I don’t,” I replied, standing up. “And now, I’m going to go stand with my fiancé. You can join me, or you can stay here, but either way, leave John alone. This is a happy time for him. It can be for you, too, if you’d give it a chance.”

I stalked away. A few seconds later, to my surprise, Asha got to her feet and followed me out to the living room, plastering a look of neutral interest on her face. She even endured stilted small talk with Isla, who met us at the doorway.

“Everything okay?” John asked as he walked over.

I looked at Asha, who had a manic-looking grin on her face as Isla chattered away at her. Okay, it’s a little creepy, but it’s better…I think.

Kimmy appeared at her side and looped her arm through Asha’s. Asha relaxed a little at her touch.

“Yes,” I answered, taking John’s hand. “I think it is.”