Page 16

Claire

W hen I returned to the cottage, Kimmy was awake and sitting by the fire, and to my surprise, Asha sat with her, and they were chatting back and forth amiably. Kimmy’s recovery had been nothing short of a miracle; when I’d checked her, her wound had already closed and the infection had retreated.

“So, you taught science?” Kimmy was saying. “What was that like?”

“Chaos,” Asha replied. “In my chemistry classes, the kids loved anything involving fire, which occasionally meant that one or two of them went home with singed eyebrows.”

Kimmy giggled, and Asha smiled sweetly—like her old self. My heart warmed; my friend was in there somewhere. I just had to figure out how to help her remember who she used to be.

“You’re sure you can walk, Kim?” I asked.

“I’ll be fine,” she said with a shrug. “If it gets to be too much, John can carry me.”

“Looking forward to it,” John said as he entered the room, rolling his eyes. “Let’s move out. You too, Asha. ”

Asha’s eyes widened and she looked at me. I gave her a small, sheepish smile, and she quickly averted her eyes…which was not the reaction I’d been hoping for. She needs time , I reminded myself. She needs the same patience Kimmy and John showed you when you first were out on your own.

With clothes, food, and sleeping bags packed, we officially began our journey north.

I had to admit that when I’d pictured this moment, I hadn’t imagined that no one except Kimmy would be speaking to me.

John didn’t outright ignore me, but he was quiet and tense, and I knew he was angry with me.

Worse, Asha didn’t even seem particularly moved by what I’d done for her.

She was silent and taciturn, even as I tried to make conversation.

We set out at a brisk pace. A few days without tracking, and 24 hours were already gone. Could we make it far enough away that the cult wouldn’t be able to reach us before we got out of range? It was impossible to say, and I tried not to dwell on the idea that they may already be trying to find me.

Hours ticked by as we walked, traveling parallel to the highway north, largely through wooded areas.

While John and I were mostly quiet, the same couldn't be said for Kimmy and Asha.

The two of them walked ahead of us, chatting away like old friends.

They traded stories, and Asha talked and laughed like her old self. Just not with me.

I glanced over at John, who was watching the two of them with a jaundiced eye, his mouth flattened into a thin, hard line.

“They seem friendly,” I said hesitantly, breaking the silence between us for the first time in hours.

John nodded. “Not thrilled.”

I opened my mouth to answer, but Kimmy’s loud giggle cut off any reply. She’d briefly doubled over with laughter at something Asha had said, her cheeks flushed, as Asha looked on, grinning.

“Keep it down, Kimmy,” John called irritably. “You want to get every roaming gang’s attention?”

Asha’s expression darkened at the admonishment, but Kimmy looked sheepish.

“Sorry,” she replied. “You’re right. Got carried away with the whole super-glad-I’m-not-dead thing.”

John softened a little. “Can’t blame you, I guess. ”

Kimmy fell back between John and me, looking back and forth between us.

“You two seem like you’re on a funeral march,” she observed, raising her eyebrows. “What happened to the can’t-keep-your-hands-to-yourselves phase? You guys have a fight or something? It’s been a while since I was grossed out by your very public displays of affection.”

I looked away, swallowing hard.

“It’s nothing,” John replied flatly. “We’re both just exhausted from saving your ass.”

Kimmy snorted. “Fair enough. How about Asha and I make sure both of you get a full night’s sleep tonight?”

Asha and I. I knew John caught it too because his jaw tightened slightly. Kimmy seemed to sense the mood, because she lowered her voice so that Asha—still several paces ahead—couldn’t hear.

“She won’t be alone,” Kimmy murmured. “I’ll watch her.”

John grunted noncommittally in response, but Kimmy smiled.

“You two deserve proper rest,” she said at a normal volume. “And dare I say, some alone time?”

She gave an exaggerated wink, and heat rose to my cheeks as a new wave of shame washed over me.

I doubted that John had any desire to be alone with me at the moment.

I’d ruined things between us for what I thought was a good reason—saving the life of my best friend.

Except that best friend, so far, seemed content to mostly pretend I didn’t exist. I could only assume that she was still working through her shock.

A lot had changed in the space of only a day.

We passed through a tiny village, and though it seemed deserted, we remained on alert.

As we walked down the small main street, I spotted something that made me stop dead: a faded, peeling sign on the back of a small shop.

The English word had chipped away, but under it, it said Vélos .

Below it sat accordion-style garage door that looked like it hadn’t been opened in years.

John followed my gaze. “Something wrong?”

“No,” I answered slowly. “But I think that may be a bicycle shop. And it looks untouched.”

His eyebrows rose with sudden interest, and we walked over to the shuttered garage. There was a small gap between the garage door and the ground, but it was too tight to squeeze under.

“You speak French, Claire?” Kimmy asked, intrigued.

“ Petit peu .” (A little bit.)

“She’s better than she’d say she is,” Asha said with an eyeroll. “Her dad was bilingual, and I’m pretty sure he made her read a ton of dusty old books in French.”

“ Made is a strong word,” I said, shrugging. “I can’t really speak it, but I can read most things.”

John grabbed the bottom of the door and gave it a hard pull upwards. I winced as the rusty hinges screamed as if in pain. The door moved maybe an inch.

“Little help here, ladies?”

Ultimately, it took all four of us to force the door high enough that we could duck under it. Thankfully, what awaited us on the other side was worth it. I shone my flashlight over the walls, where half a dozen bikes hung.

“Jesus, Claire,” John said with a delighted chuckle. “Nice work.”

I smiled weakly, and he touched my shoulder before dropping a peck on my forehead.

I warmed a little; maybe he wasn’t as mad at me as I thought.

We examined the bikes, then used leftover tools in the bike shop to scrub away whatever rust we could, pump up tires, and replace broken chains with spare parts.

Judging by the undisturbed dust, no one had been here in a long time, and it wasn’t a mystery as to why: with no food, medicine, or weapons inside, it wouldn’t be a scavenger’s first choice.

When all was said and done, we had four working mountain bikes with cargo racks, along with extra bike supplies for the trip.

Fortunately, all of us had ridden before, and as we took off down the crumbling pavement of the main street, I couldn’t help but let out a giggle of exhilaration.

It’d been a long time since I’d gone any faster than my legs could carry me.

The sun was setting as John rode up beside me; his face had broken into a grin at my giggle. The other two followed behind us, but he paid them no mind.

“I’ll race you,” he said, a teasing note to his voice, and he pointed to the end of the road ahead of us. “Whoever makes it past the edge of town first wins.”

“Wins what?” I asked, amused.

“You’ll just have to find out by winning, won’t you? ”

Without another word, he sped up, pulling ahead of me. With another laugh, I followed, determined to at least lose with dignity.

We made camp as soon as we found a suitably secluded spot in the woods.

I helped John put up the tent, while Kimmy and Asha built a fire.

They were deep in conversation by the time we finished.

John and I may as well not have existed.

I was tired of Asha ignoring me, and I desperately needed to wash myself and my clothes before dark.

John agreed to accompany me to a nearby creek, but his demeanour had returned to stoic and silent.

I rinsed out my spare clothes in the small stream, lathering with a hard lump of soap I’d made before we left the trailer camp.

John stayed quiet, listening carefully to the woods around us as he washed his clothes alongside me.

Once we’d hung them to dry on a nearby tree branch, I decided to finally break the silence.

“You’re still mad at me, aren’t you?” I murmured.

John gave a heavy sigh and didn’t speak for a moment, staring into the water.

“More worried than mad,” he eventually replied. “We have another mouth to feed now, and another person to somehow explain when we get to the Valley. I’m worried about Kimmy because she seems…very taken with Asha. And about you.”

“Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked with a frustrated laugh.

“Your friend that abandoned you appears in your life again, and you care about her so much that you’d deliberately push my buttons to make sure she’s safe.

And how does she thank you? She stays right on her mean-girl bullshit, like you’ve done something to offend her . ”

My stomach twisted. His words were both a gut punch and a validation of everything I’d been feeling that day. Still, I tried to muster a defence for Asha, as if by saying the words, it’d make them true.

“She needs time to adjust,” I said, but my voice faltered. “Just like I did.”

John shook his head, and I felt his irritation .

“You may have been clueless back then, but you were never cruel,” he said. “You can’t ask me to be okay with someone who hurts you. Never gonna happen.”

A lump rose in my throat. “What about someone who hurts you? I guilted you into bringing her.”

“That isn’t why I let her come along.”

I frowned. “It isn’t?”

“No,” he replied with another sigh. “I did it because just looking at you, I knew it would eat you up inside if we left her behind. With everything we learned at the Cave about your family…I didn’t want to damage you more.”

I swallowed hard. “You were protecting me?”

John gave an incredulous huff. “Should that really be so surprising to you at this point, Claire?”

“I suppose not,” I replied. “But I still don’t expect it. No one did that for me before you. Some part of me still expects that I’ll say or do the wrong thing…and then you’ll leave.”

I smiled sadly. “Because what’s between us is too good. And if life has shown me anything so far, it’s that I can’t hold onto anything this good.”

I tried to stare at the ground, but John wouldn’t let me. He caught my chin in his hand and turned my head to look at him. I couldn’t avoid those amber eyes I loved, and his gaze—focused and determined—made me feel naked, laid bare, as though I could have no secrets from him, even if I wanted to.

“It is good,” John murmured, his voice gentling.

“Sometimes I can’t believe how good, either.

I know you’ve been let down by a lot of people who were supposed to care for you…

but don’t cling to people who treat you like shit because that makes them feel safer—because you feel like it’ll hurt less if they leave. ”

His eyes were so warm and sincere, and if I’d doubted he loved me before, I couldn’t have now—not with the way he looked at me.

And he knew me. He saw my attempt to guilt-trip him for what it was: the desperate flailing of a person so afraid to lose what little love I’d known in my life that I’d say things to him that I’d never have uttered otherwise.

He saw every crack in my facade, every flaw I had… and somehow still loved me anyway .

“Earlier, when we took off on the bikes,” he said, “I heard you laugh, and it made my bad mood vanish in a heartbeat. Because the truth is, one of the best things in my life now is seeing you happy. And I know I can make you happy if you’d just let me.”

He leaned in closer, so our faces were only inches apart.

“I know you’re brave,” he continued, almost in a whisper. “I’ve seen it. So be brave for me one more time and let yourself believe that I’ll never leave you, because we belong together.”

John pressed his lips hard against mine in a passionate kiss, his hands moving up into my hair. I returned the kiss with abandon, pushing my body against his and grabbing the front of his jacket to pull him closer.

For him, I decided then and there, I would be brave. I’d stand up for him and myself, because of all the people in the world, he deserved my trust. He’d proven himself a hundred times over, and for the first time in my life, I had someone I knew wouldn’t abandon me.

When we broke apart, I rested my forehead against his, reaching up to cradle his face in my hands.

“It’s you and me,” I said softly. “Right?”

John smiled. “Don’t you forget it.”

Crickets had begun to chirp around us, and the last rays of sun had faded into twilight. John gave me another kiss before stepping back, sudden amusement colouring his expression.

“If you plan on scrubbing down, you better get naked now, compound girl,” he goaded. “Come on. Clothes off.”

“Why do I feel like you have an ulterior motive here?” I asked with a giggle as I unzipped my jacket.

He shot me a scandalized look, making me giggle more.

“Are you implying that I might like seeing you naked?”

I stripped down to my t-shirt and underwear, shivering in the cool evening air, and he pulled me against him, a wolfish grin spreading across his face.

“I’m not implying,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m declaring.”

He laughed. “Well, let me know if you need a hand. In the meantime, I’ll keep watch .”

He stepped back, his gaze intensifying as I slowly lifted my shirt up over my head, teasing him with what was to come.