T he world came into focus a half second at a time.
Logan bent to kiss my forehead. “Welcome back.”
I shivered and she tugged the blanket draped on me higher. “What?”
Logan tucked a straw to my lips. Apple juice. I drank it down like I was about to die of dehydration, grateful for the boost of sugar. I glanced around, checking on the others. It looked like they were all awake, though in varying states of wellness.
Everything felt strange.
The inside of my chest was like a hollowed-out Halloween pumpkin. All the magic that had always been there was gone.
Logan brushed gentle fingertips down my arm before wrapping her arms around me. “I’m sorry. When everything is more settled, I’ll ask the witches about possible amulets, like what I had for Seth. I don’t want you all to be without your shifting because of me.”
Anxiety rippled down the bond and I turned to Haru, who was lying next to me, eyes squeezed shut, their breathing unsteady. I reached out, laying my palm on their shoulder. Talk to me.
I fucking hate this. I feel like I’m in a cage made of my own body.
My human form has specific purposes, but you know I’m always more comfortable as a wolf, especially when recovering.
Human hips aren’t as well suited to resting as wolf ones are, and I’m already aching. I can’t handle a lifetime of this.
I’m sorry, my love. We’ll do everything we can to make this all bearable.
Pun intended? Velda asked, head perking up.
I couldn’t stop my smile. At least we could always count on Velda for levity.
Where’s Seth? Haru asked, searching for him among our prone packmates.
“He’s giving a statement to Anya’s magic book,” Logan said, pointing to a smoky bubble deeper in the room. “When you feel up to it, she’ll ask you for one too.”
What am I supposed to tell them they don’t already know?
“They’re comparing information. Basically anything relevant you think of, you can say.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “You can tell them you knew Seth from before, the dreams you had before Logan arrived, and everything from your perspective since she got here.”
I’m confused. Are they doing a formal investigation, and if so, why?
“Godric—” Logan gestured to a person passed out several beds down.
“—was the monster, and he’s killed multiple witches and shifters over the years.
They’re trying to figure out what to do with him, and also I’m from a line that’s not supposed to have access to magic.
Rachel too. I don’t know what’s going to come of it, but I’m too exhausted to protest anything right now. ”
Logan’s guilt sat heavy in my chest.
“Don’t blame yourself for this, precious.
” I kissed her cheek, indulging myself in a few extra seconds of my lips against her skin.
“You didn’t choose this path and you can’t help the family you were born into.
Destiny isn’t something any of us can fight or escape, and I would choose to love you all over again even knowing what the cost is. ”
Tears slipped over her cheeks and I cupped them softly, drawing both her and Haru into my arms.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Logan babbled.
I gently shushed her, bringing an end to her string of apologies with a soft brush of my lips on hers. “We will deal with this the way we deal with everything else. For now, there is work to be done.”
The nest was broken and scattered, people frightened and on the run, my pack not quite fully conscious yet.
The wards were gone, which left all of us vulnerable.
I wasn’t even sure yet if we’d be able to replenish the artifacts, or if Godric had destroyed their potential for good.
If he had, the nest might have to shut down permanently.
Part of what kept us safe was our ability to hide in the human world, and if we were exposed now, it was only a matter of time before we were discovered and people started asking questions.
The only witch on our side no longer had her magic, and I didn’t know enough about these newcomers to risk asking for their assistance.
A shot of anguish flooded down the bond from Velda. “I have to bury Laila, and the guard that died with her, Emil, I think his name was. I feel like shit not knowing for sure.”
“You’re right. He was the one on duty. I’ll go with you,” I offered.
Velda’s crystalline green eyes were red-rimmed as she nodded and slipped unsteadily from her bed. “I should’ve done the graves when I still had access to my bear form.”
“We have shovels and determination.” I kissed Logan’s temple, then Haru’s, and moved to join Velda.
She had never been one for deep connections, preferring to keep things light and breezy, knowing so many of those who came to the nest moved on quickly, but she’d been attached to Laila.
I hadn’t known her well, but the gargoyle had been a model resident, always calm and collected, always willing to help, and she had died in service to the nest. She deserved to be honored.
Emil, too. He hadn’t been with us long, arriving barely a week before lockdown, and I grieved we hadn’t been able to give him the safety expected of this place.
We shouldn’t have lost anyone . But we did, and we would face that together.
Velda wept as we dug our shovels into the soft, loamy soil. So much weighed on me. I tried to keep my own feelings locked down, already carrying the despair from my pack.
“We did the best we could under the circumstances,” I reminded Velda.
“It wasn’t good enough.” She sniffled and slammed the shovel blade into the ground. “This form is stupid. Why am I so weak?”
“You’re not. You’re just comparing yourself to a fucking brown bear. There’s not a human in the world that’s stronger than one of those. We have to give ourselves grace.”
“Fuck grace.” Velda sank to her knees and I joined her, pulling her into a hug. “Laila’s dead and it’s my fault.”
“It’s not.”
“She only stayed in the nest because of me, because she knew how lonely I was and that I needed a friend. Good job I did repaying that.”
Sorrow grew, burrowing into my lungs. One by one our other packmates joined us.
In silence they picked up the shovels and continued our work despite the physical aches and exhaustion so deep they broadcast clearly in the bond.
None of them lasted long, trading off every minute or two while Velda poured out all of her guilt.
The witches joined us too sometime later, though Sharla stayed with Rachel. Cecily, Anya, and Kyoko helped us transport the bodies and settle them into the cradle of the earth.
They quietly offered up prayers on our behalf before leaving us again with the task of burial.
Once Laila and Emil were surrendered to the earth goddess, we marked the location with stones.
Velda collected wildflowers, arranging them across the graves to spell out each of their names until we could arrange more official markers.
At some point we would have to tell those who fled that the danger was over, though it still wasn’t safe for them to return. We could let them know we were alive, but no one could come back yet.
“I should call the other nests,” I said, trying to work up the energy to stand.
“Already done,” Kendrick replied. “I phoned Seattle, Vancouver, Kananaskis, Sacramento, and Medford to tell them we survived, but to keep our people for now.”
I blinked at him.
“What?” he asked.
“I didn’t expect you to take initiative on that.”
“I knew you would worry, and I knew those who left would too. I made it my first task when I got upright.”
“Well, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He offered me a soft smile. “I think everyone could use a shower and a meal. We can assess the damage after that.”
I nodded, and he and I got Velda to her feet. “Come on, V. Mourning takes energy and we’ve all been through a hell of a lot.”
My pack had survived, and we would rebuild. We would make this place safe again. The important part is that we were together, and I was starting to believe that as long as that was true, we could get through anything.
Table of Contents
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