Page 19

A knock disrupted my panicked pacing. I had already sent everyone away, knowing that my nerves would set off all the prey shifters in my care.

I swung the door open. “They already delivered foo— Oh. I wasn’t expecting you.”

Seth swept inside. “What the fuck, man? What happened?”

“Yelena tried to eat me.”

Seth raised an eyebrow. “You think she would?”

“She seemed pretty fucking determined. I don’t know what set her off but she’s been threatening to do it for years.”

The panther nodded slowly.

“How’s the witch?”

“Stable for the moment. I wouldn’t have left her side if she was in any other condition.”

I swallowed hard. “Fair point. I’m glad she’s all right.”

“She’s not fucking all right, Kendrick. You almost punctured one of her lungs. An inch in either direction and she’d be dead right now. She’s only not because Dr. Atling is a fucking wizard at emergency surgery.”

“I didn’t mean for her to get hurt.”

“I know. That’s why you’re still alive too.”

Try as I might, shoving down the prey instinct to back away from an angry predator couldn’t be contained.

Seth’s eyes widened. “Hey, you’re okay. I’m not going to take a bite out of you.”

“Considering that nearly happened a few hours ago, I’m still feeling a little fucking twitchy about it.”

He seemed instantly apologetic, annoyingly soft looking lips drawn into a frown. “You’re right. I didn’t come here to intimidate you or anything.”

I crossed my arms, leaning against one of the walls in an attempt to appear nonchalant. “What did you come for then?”

“To talk to you. I’m choosing radical optimism today. When she wakes up, I don’t want her to navigate bullshit. I want her to know that she’s safe, and that you and Yelena have worked out whatever your issues are. If Logan dies, we all die too.”

I took some slow breaths, trying to quell the nausea that climbed up my throat. “I don’t want her to die. I didn’t want her hurt.”

“I know,” Seth replied gently. “She was hurt, though, and I need to know how committed you are to making sure that never happens again.”

“How do I convince you one way or the other?”

He shrugged. “I don’t like to think that I’m na?ve. I’d like to be able to trust my judgment, and I think there’s more to you than just not wanting Logan hurt.”

“What do you mean?”

“You remind me of me before I was allowed in, desperately wanting her but up against the wall of someone who hated you. It’s a lot of toes to step on when she’s Yelena’s mate, but trust me when I say that I understand the compulsion to stomp on those toes anyway.”

I hated that he read me so clearly.

Seth continued, keeping me locked in his hazel gaze. “If she wants you, it’s only a matter of time. A partner’s anger can’t stand against fate. Heaven and earth are going to move to let you in sooner or later. If you want her too, you need to be ready.”

“I—” I shifted, uncrossing and recrossing my arms, unsure what to do with my hands. “How am I supposed to face her after this?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, but you won’t be able to avoid her.”

Seth stepped closer, my whole body primed, though whether it was to run away or lean closer I couldn’t quite tell. It felt shitty as hell to crave digging into that with him right now, so I buried it for the moment.

“Mend fences with Yelena. For the good of everyone that has to be first. Logan’s going to be scared when she wakes up, and I’m refusing to think of a world where she doesn’t, so I’m here making sure everything is ready for her.

You have a responsibility to the people here, and if I have to stand between you and Yelena to make a conversation possible, I will. ”

“I don’t know if Yelena will even speak to me.”

“She will,” Seth insisted. “If nothing else, we can appeal to her sense of responsibility too. Logan is her mate. She has to be open to peace.”

“I’ll talk to her if she’ll allow it.”

“Good.” Seth’s smile had butterflies going off in my stomach. “Do you want Logan or not?”

“More than I should.”

He beamed at me, those stupid butterflies getting frantic. “I happen to be in a pretty good position to help you with this. Let’s get you sorted so you don’t have years of pining ahead of you.”

I ran a hand through my already disheveled hair, having done the same motion a hundred times since coming up here. “What do I have to do? I don’t know how to be in a pack.”

“None of us really do, and we’re not a normal one anyway.

A lot of it will be figuring things out as we go, but I think the important thing moving forward will be to prove that you belong here.

” His face pinched. “That sounds terrible. Logan will never make you feel like you have to prove anything, but the ones who love her are stubborn and are going to need a little more convincing. This isn’t all about a relationship with her.

We have to work as a team. It’s complicated as fuck, but I’ve learned that having a little faith goes a long way. ”

I didn’t know anything about the panther’s past, and he seemed only too happy to spill out his history with Logan and his brother when I asked.

It certainly brought a lot of clarity to the tension between all of them.

He told me about Haru too, their connection before parting ways, and balancing that dynamic now that they were here.

Deer in the wild traveled in herds, but I didn’t have one of those here. Joining a pack of predators sounded like a singular hell on an instinctive level.

“Help me understand you,” Seth said, his voice on the edge of pleading. “I know you don’t have an advocate in this situation, and I’ll be there for you if I can, but I have to know how to help you.”

Honesty was awful: nerve-racking and vulnerable, like handing him a knife and spreading my arms wide, daring him to use it. “I’m afraid of them. All of them, even you, even Shakti sometimes. I can’t help it.”

Seth assessed me quietly, reaching a tentative hand out to rest over my forearm. “What can I do so you’re not afraid of me?”

I sighed, pulling away and going to sit in one of the numerous chairs set up in the living area. “Nothing.”

Seth followed, sitting next to me at a right angle, as if he knew having an uninterrupted direct escape path was my preference. “Nothing at all?”

“If there’s a way, I haven’t figured it out yet. It’s harder when they’re openly hostile. It draws out the absolute worst in me, and I know that.”

I told him why I tried to fight for Logan at the beginning, and I hated watching him sort through all the information he thought he knew about me, deciding what might be true or not.

“Does Logan know all of this?”

“I told her.”

“Good.” Seth reached out again, his palm on my knee sending sparks of a curious craving through me before he sharply retracted it. “Sorry. I should’ve asked. Does it freak you out when we touch you?”

What a fucking question. “I can get used to it. I don’t flinch with Shakti anymore.”

I stopped breathing entirely when Seth took my hand in his.

“Exposure therapy,” he said with a tentative smile. “I don’t want you to be afraid of a life with her just because we’re there too. It will be hard, but I don’t think it has to stay that way.”

“Because it’s gotten so easy for you?”

He let out a sharp laugh. “I know it doesn’t look like it has, but it’s changed so much. It can do that for you too.”

“Do you think Yelena hates me less than your brother hated you?”

“Definitely. Or at least at a different kind of hate, maybe one that’ll be easier to break down.

” Seth sighed, giving my hand a squeeze.

“What I know for sure is that Caden and Yelena want Logan to be happy. She wanted me, and Caden grew into the idea, and if she wants you, I’m sure Yelena will do the same. ”

I didn’t love the idea of clinging to possibly false hope, but I did it anyway.