Page 31

CHAPTER 30

EMERY

It’s not enough for this high-stakes game to be close.

It’s not enough for it to go to overtime.

It goes all the way to a shootout, and the first skater up for Calgary is Max Fucking Tilman, who I bet will be facing some disciplinary action from the league for his unsportsmanlike conduct in the warm-up.

Ironically, I think his most unsportsmanlike conduct was fighting Russ in the second period, since that was purely personal. But fighting is a part of the game, like it or not—and I do like it—and karma made sure he didn’t win that fight. Not that there was much of a chance of it going well for him.

Russ pounded him into the ice and then stood over him like a gladiator.

The crowd loved it.

And they love this shoot-out match-up, too.

Alexei squares up as Tilman starts to build speed, then he tracks back, waiting…waiting… and just as the forward snaps the puck, my goalie drops his right leg and blocks it perfectly.

The final rejection of the former captain in this building, and the crowd goes wild.

Beside me, Shannon lets out an audible exhale.

Hale is up next for us, and he snipes it top left, bar down, and that’s one.

Next for Calgary is my brother, and I recognize his approach. It’s what I would do, too, because we learned how to shoot from the same man.

Somewhere below us in the arena, my dad is muttering coaching notes I can hear in my head. Don’t slow down too much, no fucking showboating, and don’t fucking project your shot.

Unfortunately, Forrest projects his shot, and Alexei blocks it easily.

They exchange a few words before he returns to the Calgary bench, defeated.

Ty Connor is next for Hamilton, and Kiley rises to her feet.

His shot is a beauty, the puck starting low and rising slower than the Calgary goalie expects. But the blocker catches enough that it bounces up and out.

Close, but not enough.

Calgary’s third shooter is one of their rookies—fast hands, good edges, cocky as hell.

He cuts hard right, then left, trying to catch Alexei off-balance. But Alexei doesn’t bite. He follows every move, mirroring and waiting.

The rookie flinches. Shoots.

And Alexei gets right in front of it, absorbing the puck right in the middle of his chest for a save.

The arena explodes.

That’s a win, with Haler’s goal meaning Hamilton doesn’t need a third shooter.

On the bench just behind me in the suite, Inessa is fast asleep, completely unaware that her dad is a victorious gladiator.

And like Shannon, I can finally exhale.

I shouldn’t be feeling this much.

Not when I’m trying to keep things professional. Not when I’ve dismantled every part of my life because I’m moving overseas this summer. I have goals , and they have nothing to do with being Alexei’s emergency nanny or secret…whatever I was to him this morning.

But watching him be absolutely unshakeable tonight did something to me. I don’t just feel pride or admiration, it’s deeper than that. Something has cracked open that I’ve been trying really hard to pretend wasn’t growing inside me.

Tonight he felt like he was mine.

Not officially. Not something I would say out loud. And definitely not forever.

But right now, he’s mine, and I was happy to be wearing his number as he chalked up another win.

“Long night,” Shannon murmurs as she stretches her legs out in front of her.

She won’t be in a rush to leave tonight, not until the cheers have long faded from the rafters of the arena.

“I’m going to wait until it’s quieter to leave,” I say after the other WAGs say goodbye and head out. “Increases the chances of Inessa staying asleep.”

“You don’t need to keep me company.”

“Who says I’m doing that?”

She smiles at me. “Hey, how would you feel about helping me plan a baby shower for Ani?”

“I would be honoured.”

“Harper has volunteered to host it at her house. I’ve got the decorations organized, but I could use some help on the menu planning.”

“I’m in. Do you want to come over for dinner one night while the team is away this coming week?”

“One night?” Shannon teases. “You might find yourself feeding me every night.”

I laugh. “Dinner isn’t Inessa’s favourite time of day. You might find it exhausting.”

She gives me a scrutinizing look. “Will I?”

I shrug. “Some do.”

“But you don’t?”

“No,” I say, surprising myself. “Maybe it’s because I’ve been spending all day with her? So I get the good stuff, too? But I can see how she’s tired, I get the why of tantrums. She doesn’t have the vocabulary yet to explain her big feelings, and even if she could, a lot of what she wants just isn’t possible.”

“The world doesn’t cater to the whims of two-year-olds,” Shannon says dryly.

“Deeply unfair.” I look at my sleeping charge. “She’s really very sweet. Especially at lunch time, if you can swing that instead of dinner.”

Shannon giggles and nods. “Noted. But I don’t mind a glimpse into a challenging dinner hour, either.” A lovely glow blooms from deep inside her, softening her expression. “We talk about kids, you know. Or at least one kid. I’m not in a rush, obviously.” She waves down at the ice. “I need Max to be fully out of my life first. There’s some family court legal stuff that is going to take longer than I’d like. And Russ is thinking he might retire next year or the year after, so…if we wait until then, he’ll be more hands-on. But I look forward to learning about things like tantrums.”

My mouth has fallen open. “Shannon!”

She laughs and nods. “I know. I know I know I know.”

“I’m so happy for you both.”

“One thing at a time.” But her expression is now so blissful, after what was a really hard day.

I press my hand to my chest and sigh.

She smiles. “What about you?”

“What about me?” My voice shakes a little, worried that I’ve revealed too much of my feelings for Alexei.

“What comes after Switzerland?”

I exhale in relief. “Oh.”

Her eyebrows arch up. “What did you think I meant?”

“Nothing. Um…” I shrug. “I’m not sure. It depends how long I can work in Europe for, which depends on how well my placements go. Switzerland is just the first step down a path that hasn’t fully revealed itself yet.”

“That’s exciting.”

“It really is. I like tackling short term projects. It’s what I thought being a personal chef would be.”

“But it wasn’t?”

I shook my head. “I mean, I did get hired for some one-off events, but the bulk of the market in Minneapolis was more about regular customers, and…” I shrug. “It stopped being exciting. People wanted the same things over and over again, and I’m not the right chef for that.”

“Cooking for a hockey player must be hard, then.”

“Not at all. Alexei isn’t a client.”

I hear myself say it at the same time she does.

She doesn’t react to that, just waits.

“I know how that sounds.” I can’t look sideways at her again. I’m afraid she’s already figured out too much as it is.

Still, I can feel her studying me. After a long beat, she makes a little humming sound in her throat. “Do you know why I haven’t moved in with Russ yet?”

I blink, refocusing on her, and think about the conversations we’ve had over the last eight months. And the confession she just shared, that they’re already thinking about kids. They’re obviously a forever couple, deeply in love. “It’s not because you haven’t found a bigger place, is it?”

She shakes her head. “I needed to find myself. I needed to fully be myself, and that’s not an overnight process. And a little bit, I need to know that he’ll love me even when I push back. Even when I need time and space to figure out who I am, what I want. I won’t live a life someone else has picked for me, and provides for me, ever again.” Her eyes are a little glassy, but her voice stays calm. “I need to build a life of my own before I merge it with someone else’s. Because if I don’t know what I want, I’ll just get lost again.”

She pauses. “Russ gets it. Even if he isn’t the biggest fan of my apartment. He still chooses me, and meets me on my own terms. And it feels so, so special, because I was in a lopsided, unhappy relationship for so long. But Russ would be the first to say that’s the minimum standard. That’s how it should be. I’m still learning to trust that, and to trust him.”

That’s how it should be.

My entire life has been wrapped around other people. I’ve compromised and gotten out of the way and picked up the slack around their accomplishments. And then plastered on a jersey and cheered my heart out because of course I love them, and I’m proud of them.

But after that night with Alexei two years ago, when he had me naked on a hotel bed, halfway in love with him, and something else came up… Even though that something was really fucking important, I realized that I always bend too far. Give too much.

I can’t do that again.

“You don’t have to erase yourself to stay,” she says gently. “But you can stay if you want. That’s a perfectly good choice to make, since you’re clearly smitten.”

I squeak and bury my face in my hands. But I’m not going to deny it. I am smitten, for better or for worse. “Is it that obvious? Does everyone know?”

“I don’t think so.” She leans her shoulder against mine. “But they weren’t all studying you for a week last year, trying to figure out who you were to Russell.”

I laugh and groan. “Oh my God.”

“I became an Emery expert, maybe. And there’s a new light to you. You…glow.”

That’s the same word I used to describe how ridiculously in love she is. Crap. Craaaaapppp.

“It’s…we’re not…” I swallow hard. “It’s just a thing. Like we haven’t talked about what we’re doing, we just do it.”

And not even it , not yet.

“It’s mostly kissing,” I say, which sounds so juvenile I have to cover my face all over again.

“Kissing is pretty amazing,” she whispers. “But you should talk to him, too. With the right person, talking is also amazing.”