Page 20

CHAPTER 19

ALEXEI

As Emery relaxes, probably for the first time in hours, she gathers herself and finally focuses in on me—and immediately gets flustered.

Does she know how revealing her wide, startled gaze is?

I should end the call. Inessa is asleep. There’s no reason for us to keep talking.

Except the way her cheeks go pink and her eyes dart left and right before finally settling on looking just above the camera…that feels like a reason to stay on the line.

That feels like a reason to do a lot of things I shouldn’t.

“Good game tonight,” she says. “Really good.”

Maybe she thinks that’s a safer subject than my bare chest, but she’s wrong. The fact that she tuned in means more to me than it should. “You watched?”

There’s a flash of vulnerability in her eyes. Not the same kind of fluster. This is something else. “The last few minutes.”

“That was the best part.” I grin. And it was—I can still feel the adrenaline coursing through me. “You didn’t miss much before that.”

She laughs. “Nobody scored on you! I must have missed some good saves.”

“I practically had a nap in the second period.”

She giggles. Replacing whatever doubt or worry was in her expression with that pure glee… that feels good.

Too good.

“Inessa loves watching you. When they were replaying your saves during the timeout, she was mimicking your splits and your glove saves. Which were very impressive.”

My pulse does a weird thing in my throat. “Thanks.”

She nods once, then shifts the phone. Her loose t-shirt slides off her shoulder, exposing the thin strap of something soft underneath. I swallow.

“In between the tears, we had a lot of fun tonight. She’s very cuddly.”

Her voice is softer now, and the blotchiness has faded from her face. She’s so fucking gorgeous, I want to reach though the phone and bury my face in her neck.

But she’s asking me about my daughter , because that’s the whole reason she’s in my house.

I nod and pull myself together. “Nothing can prepare you for the unconditional love of a toddler. It’s the best part of being a parent. I had no idea.” I scrub my hand over my face. “I didn’t have any idea about any of it, to be honest. I knew I wanted kids, but I didn’t think about any of the specifics.”

“I don’t think I appreciated enough how hard that must have been for you. To just become a father with no warning.”

“It was hard. It still is hard. But I loved her immediately, so that made it…” I mutter in Russian, trying to remember the English word.

“Doable?”

“Of course. Yes. I knew as soon as I held her in my hands that I would do anything for her. I will always feel that way. It’s what gets me through terrible bedtimes.” I find her gaze again and hold it through the hundreds of kilometres that separate us. “It’s what makes me so appreciative of you taking this one.”

“Anything for the team,” she murmurs.

“You haven’t sent me your contract yet. Maybe we should negotiate your pay higher, hmm?”

She makes a face. “I know. It’s weird to charge you for this, though.”

“I’m inconveniencing you.”

“I wasn’t doing anything anyways.”

“At the very least, you are missing out on watching your brothers play hockey.”

She blows a raspberry.

“And maybe you are missing some hot dates at home?”

Another raspberry, then she laughs. “No.”

I shouldn’t be relieved.

But I am.

She swallows hard. “Can I confess something?”

“Anything.”

She takes a deep breath. “When your mom and Inessa came into the WAG suite the other night, I…I think I felt her presence. I knew, even as the door was opening, that it was someone connected to you. I can’t explain how. But I was convinced it was your girlfriend.”

I frown. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I haven’t dated anyone since Inessa was born. I don’t know if I ever will again. That’s just not my life.”

“I didn’t know that. I thought maybe Inessa’s mother was still in your life.” She blushes. “I did a really good job blocking out anything and everything to do with you.”

Guilt sears through me. “I don’t blame you for that. That was a horrible night. I never should have?—”

“Was it horrible?” She cuts me off, really looking at me now. Challenging me. “Do you regret it?”

The directness catches me off guard, and I respond honestly before I can think better of it. “Never.”

Confusion twists her expression, just for a moment, before she sucks in a quick inhale. “Right up until the end, it was the best night of my life. Really eye opening.”

“Jesus.” I laugh in surprise, and relief. “Okay. Good. But I hate how it ended.”

“Also eye opening,” she says dryly.

“I walked right into that.” I roll my shoulders. Tightness is starting to settle in. I’m going to need a massage tomorrow. Should have asked for one tonight, but I had media availability and then I wanted to get to the hotel.

I wanted to get to privacy, so I could call Emery, so she could flay me alive for hurting her two years ago.

I’m not running away from this conversation.

“Since we’re confessing things, can I tell you something?” I ask.

She nods.

“It wasn’t horrible. That’s just a thing I tell myself now so I don’t get consumed by what ifs .”

“Oh, Alexei.”

“Fucking hell, don’t give me pity . I’m the asshole who ruined it, all right? That’s all me.”

She nods, sagely agreeing with me, which makes me laugh with her—and at myself.

“I wanted you from the moment I saw you, Emery. In that bar, I was already thinking about how to approach you. And then your brothers came in and that barely deterred me. That night, all night, I was obsessed with you. I need you to know that, just…for yourself. Don’t ever doubt how much you consumed my thoughts then. When I got those text messages, I was genuinely shocked. I hadn’t seen her in seven months.”

And if there wasn’t a hitch in her breath, I’d leave it at that.

But we went two years with her only understanding part of what I was going through that night. I don’t want there to be any doubt in her mind that if everything was different, she would’ve been mine from that night. I never would have let her go, and she would still be mine today.

“That night was the hottest experience of my life. If I’m lonely forever, I won’t be completely alone. I have my memories, and they are…incredible. The only thing hotter would be if you’d been wearing this jersey.”

Silence hums between us like feedback.

She shifts on the couch, one leg curling under her, and the sweatshirt dips a little further. I drag my gaze back to her face. Her cheeks are pink now, but she doesn’t break the stare.

Her lips part, but no sound comes out. Then she smiles—small, secret, like we just agreed to something without saying it out loud.

“It’s good to have some closure on all of that,” she says. “I should go to bed.”

And before I can respond, the screen goes black.