Page 41 of The Lilac River (Silver Peaks #1)

Dreams – Fleetwood Mac

Nash

T he day had dragged, mostly thanks to running on just a couple hours’ sleep.

But also, because it was Saturday and I knew Lily was home alone when we could’ve been curled up together, wasting the morning in her bed.

The thought of her, wrapped in sunlight and rumpled sheets, made the ache in my chest twist deeper. But there was work to do.

Gunner and I had been up in the high pasture most of the day, keeping an eye on the herd and checking if the new bull had settled in.

He was five, a little older than we usually went for, and with bulls that age, there was always a risk.

If they didn’t mix, they turned into what we called bachelor bulls.

And those sons of bitches were a nightmare come fall.

They became solitary, unpredictable, and hell to track down once the first snow hit.

Luckily, this one seemed to be holding steady. Right in the middle of the herd, nosing around like he’d always belonged.

“That cow over there looks like she’s limping,” I said, nodding toward a tan heifer in the center of the group.

Gunner leaned forward in his saddle, squinting against the sun. “You thinking mountain lion?”

I shrugged. “No blood, no bite marks. Might be a sprain or she stepped wrong on some shale. Still...it worries me. If it is the lion, it means it's desperate. And desperate predators start coming closer.”

Gunner let out a slow breath. “Or worse, feeding cubs. We don’t need a whole damn family picking off calves.”

We sat quiet, watching her. The cow shifted her weight, stepped tentatively, then moved without much trouble. Whatever it was, it looked like she'd worked it out.

“Thank fuck,” Gunner said, tipping his hat back and wiping his brow with his forearm. “Aside from a dead cow, I don’t wanna hand the vet another check this month.”

I chuckled. “We’re not broke, Gun.”

“Doesn’t matter. With Dad threatening to sell the place, I’d rather not give him another excuse to pull the trigger.”

He wasn’t wrong.

The bull made a half-hearted attempt at a cow, lumbering forward with all the grace of a drunk bison. She trotted off and he didn’t even try to follow. Lost interest as quickly as he’d found it.

I let out a breath, but Gunner snorted. “Don’t doubt him, Nash. That boy will give us calves. Trust me.” He turned that familiar stare on me, the one that saw more than I ever wanted him to. “Speaking of pregnancy…how was your night?”

I barked out a laugh. “Good. But nothing like that happened.” I half lied, seeing as I’d made Lily come on my fingers. “We mostly talked. About... stuff.”

“‘Stuff,’ huh?” He smirked. “Like rings and babies? And don’t bullshit me, you’ve had that look on your face all day. That goofy-ass smile and that little furrow in your brow. Joy and panic. You’re in it deep.”

He wasn’t wrong about that either.

“We should get back down,” I said, nudging my horse forward. “Help Wilder and the guys with the haymaking.”

“Nice deflection.” Gunner wheeled his horse around to block me. “But you’re not off the hook, big brother. You’ve pined for Lily Jones for ten years. And now she’s back and there’s sleepovers and family dinners?” He circled a finger in the air. “I know that look.”

I took off my hat and fanned myself. The storm had only cooled the air for a few hours immediately after it and Gunner’s stare wasn’t helping. He always could see straight through me.

“There are things we need to talk about. That’s why Lily’s coming to dinner.”

Gunner’s brow lifted. “Serious things?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s not pregnant already, is she?” His smirk was pure mischief. “Because you do have a history.”

I leveled him a look. “Lily’s not Loretta. Don’t disrespect her like that.”

He held up a hand. “Alright, alright. No offense meant.”

“Good,” I said, tugging my hat low. “Lily being pregnant isn’t one of the things we need to talk about. Not even I work that fast.”

He chuckled. “Doesn’t mean she isn’t.”

Strangely...the thought didn’t send me into a tailspin.

“Just be ready for dinner at seven. Elodie’s mom is dropping the girls off after the zoo, and once Bertie’s in bed, we’re sitting down. All of us.”

He scratched behind Peanut’s ears. For a second, the tilt of his head, the way the light hit his jaw it was like looking at Dad. But then he stuck out his tongue and started making kissy faces at the horse, and the moment broke.

“You know Bertie’s gonna freak out when she sees her teacher sitting at the dinner table.”

I nodded. “I know.”

And the truth was, the thought tugged at something deep in my chest. That kind of love, the way Bertie already looked at Lily like she was some magical being, scared the hell out of me. Because what if I messed it all up again?

Gunner saluted with two fingers. “Seven sharp.”

He clicked his tongue, nudging Peanut down the trail.

“Last one back is a big poopy pants!” he yelled.

Christ, that man spent too much time around my daughter.

I slowed my horse, letting him pull ahead, and tilted my face to the sky. The sun had dipped low, and stars were beginning to blink through the fading blue. Somewhere, Lily was getting ready. Soon, she’d be driving toward me—coming home.

I closed my eyes and made a wish like a damn fool that this time, nothing would take her away, because I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this... alive. Or this fucking terrified.

“And the tiger had these great big teeth, Daddy! Like real sharp!”

Bertie stretched her arms as wide as they would go, standing on her tiptoes as she let out a roar that was far more adorable than it was ferocious.

“Is that right?” I asked, smiling so hard it hurt. This girl—she was pure sunshine. Everything good in my life bundled into an eight-year-old body with skinned knees and strawberry shampoo.

“What else did you see?” I reached over and ran a hand down the intricate braid Elodie’s mom had somehow managed to tame her wild mane into and get it to stay in.

I needed to learn that trick, because when I tried, Bertie’s hair usually ended up looking like a crow’s nest after a windstorm within a couple of hours.

“There were lions! And bears! And flamencos!”

“Flamingos,” I corrected gently, trying not to laugh.

“That’s what I said.” She put her hands on her hips, full sass. Then, with all the drama she could muster, let out a big sigh. “Anyway, it was one of the very best days of my whole life. But I’m pooped.”

I wrapped my arm around her small shoulders as she leaned into me on the porch swing. The wood creaked beneath us as the warm breeze stirred the scent of cut grass and honeysuckle.

“I’m not surprised,” I said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You had a big day.”

Some days, I still couldn’t believe she was mine. Other days, I couldn’t believe I’d survived without her. She wore me out, sure, but every hug, every grin, every mispronounced word was a miracle.

“I think I could sleep for daaaaays,” she said, yawning so wide I could see her molars.

“You want to go straight to bed?” I teased. “Or maybe… maybe you want to stay up for our dinner guest?”

Her eyes snapped open.

“We’re having a visitor?!”

I pulled her onto my lap and nuzzled her cheek. “Someone you know.”

“Felicia?”

“Nope.”

She squinted. “Not Mr. Brubank?”

“Why the heck would I invite the man who runs the hardware store?”

She shrugged her little shoulders. “I don’t know, you visit him a lot so maybe he’s your friend.”

“Well, it’s not him.” I laughed at the idea of it. “And I need a lot of hardware, so sue me.”

She folded her arms and sighed dramatically. “Oh, I don’t know, Daddy. I’m too tired to guess.”

I let the moment linger a little longer, the butterflies in my stomach starting to stir again.

“What would you think,” I said slowly, “about Miss. Gray coming for dinner?”

She blinked once. Then again. And then she exploded , bouncing on my lap like she’d just been launched out of a cannon.

“I knew it!” she squealed. “You like Miss. Gray! That’s why you keep her picture in your drawer!”

The air in my lungs vanished. “What picture?”

Bertie clapped both hands over her mouth, eyes wide with horror that she’d let it slip. “I didn’t mean to snoop, Daddy. I just… I opened the drawer and there it was.”

My stomach flipped. She’d found it. The old photo of Lily by the Lilac River, the one I hadn’t been able to throw away, no matter how many times I’d tried to move on.

“The Lilac River,” I murmured.

Bertie nodded solemnly. “Are you mad at me?”

I pulled her in and squeezed her tight. “No, munchkin. Not mad. But next time you’re not sure whether something is private just ask, okay?”

“I promise.” Her face was so earnest, so small. My heart felt like it might crack right in half.

Then, like only a child can, her guilt vanished in an instant and she was bouncing again.

“Bertie!” I groaned. “Careful, it’s delicate down there.”

She gave me a look. “Did I hurt your fun sacks, Daddy?”

I choked out a laugh, adjusting her on my lap. “Yep. Thanks for that.”

“Sorry,” she said, grinning like a gremlin. “I’m just so excited Miss. Gray is coming!”

“Okay, okay. You can say hi when she gets here. But after that it’s bedtime. Grown-up time, remember?”

“Grown-up time with just you and Miss. Gray?” she asked with mock innocence.

“Nope. With your uncles too. We’re catching up. Like old friends.”

She tilted her head. “Because you missed her? Like I’d miss Elodie if she went away forever?”

I blinked back the sting in my eyes. “Yeah, sweetheart. Just like that.”

She beamed, then launched off my lap like a firecracker. “I’m gonna put on my PJ’s right now! Then I get waaay more time with her!”

As she barreled toward the screen door, bare feet thudding against the boards, I chased after her.

“Whoa there, munchkin,” I called, scooping her up mid-run. She squealed and kicked her legs like a tiny rodeo queen.

“But I gotta get ready!” she insisted. “You’re getting ready, too, right, Daddy?”

“That’s the plan,” I said, carrying her down the hall. “Gotta make sure I’m looking good.”

She cupped my cheeks with both hands, deadly serious. “You need a shave. And don’t forget the smell-good spray.”

I laughed. “Anything else?”

She nodded thoughtfully. “Wear the blue shirt. The one with buttons. You look like a real man in that one.”

My throat tightened. There was something about the way she said it, the way she wanted me to be my best, that got me right in the gut.

“You think Miss. Gray will like it?” I asked softly.

Bertie nodded like it was a fact of nature. “She’s gonna think you’re the handsomest cowboy ever. ”

What did I do to deserve this kid?

“Thanks for the advice, partner,” I whispered, hugging her tight.

“You’re welcome. Now go, go, go!” She wiggled down and darted to her room, leaving the sound of tiny thudding feet and a trail of pure joy in her wake.

I headed to my room, tugging my phone from my pocket as it buzzed. The screen lit up with Dougie’s name.

I answered quickly. “Dougie. What’ve you got for me?”