Page 22 of The Lilac River (Silver Peaks #1)

Uncover – Zara Larsson

Lily

" H ow's your head, honey?" Mom asked, handing me a steaming mug of black coffee the second I walked through the door.

"I might not be big on alcohol, Mom, but even I know a hangover doesn't last three days." I shuddered as I sank into the couch, pulling my legs under me. "Booze is the devil but I just had a long day, is all."

The memory of Saturday morning was still vivid.

My mouth had felt like sandpaper. My brain was cotton.

And my stomach…well, my stomach had entered into a quiet, persistent rebellion.

The smell of coffee had helped, but only barely.

After our late-night confession-fest where I’d shouted to Cassidy that I still wanted Nash, we opened a bottle.

And then another. By four in the morning, we were draped over her couch like discarded party favors.

Sleep had been a twitchy, sticky mess, and by sunrise, I'd done the walk of shame back home, two miles in borrowed flip-flops that slapped the pavement like punishment. Then I’d written Mom a note to say I was in bed and ‘ please don’t disturb me, unless the house is on fire ’.

"You were pretty much comatose all weekend," Mom said, scoffing as she sat down beside me.

More in my head than comatose responding with a simple, ‘it was okay’, when Mom asked me how my night had been. Once I emerged from my den of pity and damp, alcohol sweat soaked sheets.

"And was your ex responsible for that fact?" Grandma asked, barely glancing up from her knitting.

I stared at her. "How did you know he was there?"

She shrugged. "It was Friday night; there’s one bar in town. I took a guess."

"You should seriously see if Sheriff Jackson needs an extra deputy," I muttered, wrapping both hands around my mug.

"Someone needs to get laid," Grandma declared.

"Grandma!"

"Mom!"

Grandma just shrugged at our unified disbelief. "You think we give up sex after sixty?" She pointed at Mom. "If that’s the case, Ella, you’ve got fifteen years left. Make 'em count."

"Mom, please don’t discuss my sex life," Mom said, laying a hand over her chest like she might swoon.

"Or lack thereof," Grandma muttered.

She turned back to me, eyes sharp. "So? What happened? Did he say something that made you hit the tequila? Because that was tequila, right? I could smell it coming out of your pores, right up to Sunday evening."

God, Grandma really did need a badge.

"He stuck his nose where it wasn’t wanted," I said carefully.

"Not your panties, I’m guessing."

"Mother!" Mom groaned like her soul was trying to escape.

"He thought I couldn't handle some unwanted attention," I said, desperate to change the subject. "Stepped in when I didn’t need saving."

"Typical male," Grandma huffed. "Doesn’t want you himself, but God forbid anyone else tries."

I slumped back on the cushions. "You could be right. I’m pretty sure he’d rather I just leave town."

"You’re not going to, though?" Mom asked quietly.

"No, Mom. I’m staying."

Her smile was small, but it reached her eyes. A flicker of warmth bloomed in my chest. Watching her now, I noticed the shadows beneath her eyes, the weariness tucked into her movements. When had I stopped paying attention to how tired she always looked?

"Why don’t you take a bath? Maybe a nap?" I offered gently.

She blinked at me. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. In fact, bath and nap. Doctor’s orders."

Grandma winked at me approvingly. "Go on, Ella. We won’t burn the house down."

"It would be good," Mom admitted, stretching her back with a soft groan. "It’s been a long day."

She deserved better. Not double shifts at the hospital and microwaved leftovers. Not quiet sacrifices and aching joints. I’d barely gotten paid, but my first check, well, part of it was going straight into her account.

"What do you want for dinner, Grandma?" I asked briskly, helping Mom to her feet. She pulled me into a hug, longer than usual. When she left, her shoulders already looked lighter.

"I’ll skip dinner," Mom called. "Late lunch at the hospital cafeteria. A bath and early night sounds perfect."

The minute she disappeared down the hallway, Grandma leaned toward me like a kid sneaking candy. "Now, spill. What’s the tea on that Nash boy?"

I smirked. "Been reading those teen magazines again while waiting at the checkout?"

"Maybe," she winked. "Still want the full story, sweetie. People don’t drink tequila like that for nothing."

"Ugh. Do I have to?" I winced as another pulse of pain thudded behind my eyes.

"Nope. But it might help." She patted my knee. "You didn’t want to come back. I get it. But you’re here now, and you need to figure out how to live here without killing each other."

"I don’t know how." My voice cracked. "He hates me. And teaching Bertie doesn’t help."

"Have you thought about talking to him? Like adults? Bertie's education matters, after all."

"I’m a professional," I said, bristling.

"Never said you weren’t. But how do you propose handling parent-teacher conferences with all that sexual tension hanging thick in the air?"

"Grandma," I groaned.

"Don’t dodge." She raised a brow. "Why can't you just sit down and talk to him?"

Reasons swirled through my head. But none of them were good enough. I still loved him. I left because of his father. I left to protect Mom. I left because I was ashamed.

"Stupid reasons, hey?"

"God, Grandma, can you read minds?"

"Nope. Just seventy-five years of seeing the same heartbreak in different faces." She folded her hands in her lap. "Want a story?"

I nodded, already knowing this would be one of her heart-wrenching, soul-patching stories.

"When I met your Grandpa, I was engaged to someone else. Joshua. We weren't suited, but back then, marriage was just... expected."

"Did you cheat?" I asked.

"No. Grandpa wouldn’t touch me while another man's ring was on my finger. Said until I ended it properly, we could only be friends."

"And you ended it?"

Her cheek twitched with the memory. "Eventually. I lied to Grandpa at first, told him I'd ended things. He saw right through me. Didn’t judge, just waited."

"How did it work out?"

She grinned. "Joshua was relieved, turns out he'd been fooling around with Maggie Harrison. And Grandpa? He was just relieved because, well... his balls were practically black from waiting."

"Oh my God," I moaned, dropping my head back into the couch.

"Point is, sweetheart, if I'd been honest from the start, it would've saved a lot of pain."

"How does this relate to me and Nash?"

"I know you’re not that stupid, Lily." Her voice softened, warm and fierce. "Tell Nash the truth. He’ll forgive you because he loves you. He wouldn’t be this angry if he didn’t still care."

I swallowed hard. "I wrote Mom a letter explaining why I left."

Grandma shook her head. "That wasn’t the real reason, was it?"

I stared at the ceiling like it might offer me answers. "It was, we were too young.”

"Lily."

The way she said my name, it wasn’t scolding. It was a lifeline.

“You can’t tell Mom,” I begged, feeling my chest go tight. “Promise me Grandma. Please.”

“Okay,” she sighed. “I promise.”

The weight of the words laid heavy as I tried to form them. As I rolled my tongue around the secret. "His dad made me leave.” My voice broke as finally the shackles had been broken. “Threatened to tell everyone about Dad... about the murder. I couldn’t let Mom suffer that."

"He what?"

The sharp voice behind us cut the air like a blade.

We both turned.

Mom stood in the doorway, her robe clutched tight around her, and her face, her face was heartbreak carved in porcelain.

I felt the blood drain from mine. Time slowed. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak.

"Mom..." My voice cracked. "I was going to tell you. I just?—"

She shook her head slowly, like every word cost her something. "He threatened you because of me? "

I stood, but my legs wobbled. "I didn’t know what else to do. I was trying to protect you."

Her hand pressed to her mouth, eyes shining. And in that moment, I saw every hour she’d worked, every night she stayed up wondering why I left. I saw as the truth landed.

And I wasn’t sure if she’d ever forgive me.