Page 14 of The Lilac River (Silver Peaks #1)

Stronger – Kelly Clarkson

Nash

T wo hours of sheer hell.

Two hours of forced small talk with a bunch of moms because, of course, there were only two other dads there. One was stuck to his wife’s side like glue. The other was Danny Mason, Amber’s dad, and he was a dick.

Two hours of avoiding Lily, aside from the Kissing Booth fiasco. Her bringing up the past had pushed every single button I had, leaving me angry, tight-chested, and so damn raw. After that, I avoided even looking at her, pretending for Bertie's sake that I was having the best time ever.

I didn’t think I’d ever eaten so much in such a short span of time either. Cupcakes, cinnamon rolls, funnel cakes, pigs in blankets and something that tasted suspiciously like vomit masquerading as cheese dip.

If I had to hear one more parent brag about how their kid was going to be a doctor, a scientist, or cure cancer, I was going to lose it.

Bertie could be whatever she wanted to be.

I didn’t give a damn about titles. I just wanted her to be happy.

Ideally, she'd fall in love with the lavender farm or ranching, but if she didn’t, that was okay too. She’d figure it out.

Looking across the room, everything else dropped away, the noise, the movement, the dozen other parents chatting around me. There was just her. Lily Jones.

I must have stopped breathing, because my chest ached, my vision narrowed, and something inside me, something broken for a long damn time, clicked painfully back into place. Like a dislocated joint finally popping into its socket.

It was stupid, maybe. It was reckless, definitely. But in that single heartbeat, I knew there had never been anyone else for me. Not really. Not where it mattered. Even when I tried to move on, even when I pretended to, it was always her shadow that walked beside me.

And now she was here. Laughing with my daughter. Smiling in a way that cracked my heart wide open.

Bertie, talking a mile a minute, and Lily crouched beside her, listening like she was the most fascinating creature on Earth.

The way Lily tilted her head, the way she leaned in closer, laughing and smiling at every word, it knocked the air right out of my lungs.

I gripped a chair to steady myself. Because if I walked over to her at that moment, there would be no going back.

I would take her in my arms when it was probably the worst thing I could ever do.

"Nash."

The sickly-sweet voice. Monica Patterson.

Brought me back to earth, reminding me that over the other side of the classroom was a broken promise. An unanswered prayer.

Even so, I didn’t look at Monica but kept my eyes on Bertie and Lily.

"Didn’t think you had a kid in this class, Monica," I muttered.

"I don’t," she said. "Just doing the rounds. Making sure everyone’s having fun."

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught her glancing around like a gossiping magpie.

"They look happy to me," I said, nodding toward the kids coloring at the big table.

Monica clucked her tongue. "Hmm." She laid a hand on my bicep. "Anyway, how are you? You know, with you-know-who being back."

I stepped out of her reach, not bothering to hide my disgust. "If you mean Lily, I’m perfectly fine. We’re both adults."

"If you ever want to talk," she purred, "Byron’s out of town. We could have dinner."

If she was the last woman left on Earth, I’d take a vow of celibacy.

"Busy," I said flatly. "See you around, Monica."

I didn’t wait for a response. Just moved away, counting down the minutes until I could grab Bertie and get the hell out of there.

"Daddy, Daddy!"

I snapped out of my angry fog and turned, forcing a smile.

"Hey, Munchkin, what’s wrong?"

"Nothing!" She bounced on her toes. "Don't you think Miss. Gray is amazing? Isn’t she so pretty?"

"Yeah," I said, voice thick, "she seems lovely."

"And she's real smart too! She knows where the Trifle Tower is."

"Eiffel," I corrected gently.

"That’s what I said!" she said with a little huff.

I chuckled despite myself.

She looked back toward Lily, her little face full of admiration. "She’s such a good teacher, Daddy."

I nodded, swallowing hard. Everything Bertie said was true. And every word felt like a punch to the gut.

Because I knew.

I knew what Lily had dreamed of being.

Twelve Years Ago

"What do you want to do after college?" I asked, hands shoved deep in my pockets.

We were walking side by side along Main Street, on our first real date. I’d just bought her a burger and movie ticket, and I was already picturing a hundred more dates.

She giggled, the sound lighting up my chest like fireworks. "Promise you won’t laugh."

"Could never laugh at you, Lily."

She bit her bottom lip, concentrating on her sneakers. "I want to be a teacher."

"And what’s lame about that?" I nudged her with my elbow. "As long as you don’t end up like Miss. MacMichael."

She wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, her coffee breath could kill a man."

Butterflies erupted in my stomach. Fuck it. I reached out and hooked my pinky with hers.

"You’ll be a great teacher," I said simply.

The smile she gave me that night? I still saw it in my dreams.

And now she was finally living that dream.

Just not with me.