Page 1 of The Fake Husband Deal

Noah

Sweat and day-old cologne was not the scent combination I wanted to wear to my family’s Sunday lunch.

I knew I could count on either of my brothers to open my old bedroom window to let me climb into our parents’ house incognito. I’d grab a shower, get in and out again, all fresh and ready for what I affectionately called the Spencer Weekly.

I loved every single bit of it. The food, the desserts—which had their own category in my mind—chewing the fat with my brothers outside of work and spending time with my parents and Avó.

The problem today was that it was not Sunday, which meant I’d been caught with my proverbial pants down when the message notification had come through from one of my brothers.

I parked in my usual spot a few houses down from my parents' and walked up to the door. Before I got my old key out, the door opened. “Thank fuck you’re here. Everyone’s acting really—” Lex, the younger of my twin brothers, pulled a face. “You stink.”

“And you’re ugly, but you don’t hear me complaining.”

“Pfft, everyone knows I’m the prettiest of the Spencer brothers.”

I pretend-punched his gut. “What would Adam say about that?”

“That we’re so perfect Mom and Dad had to make two of us.”

I snorted. “Can you help me sneak upstairs? I need a shower.”

“No complaints there from me. Why are you all sweaty? Did you run here or something?”

I ran my hand over my now less-damp hair. “Yeah, something like that.”

He gave me a funny look that I ignored. “Are you going to help me or what?”

“Who’s that? Is that Noah?”

My shoulders sagged as our mom came out from the living room.

“Honey, you’re la— What happened to you?” she asked, inspecting me from head to toe as if to double-check I hadn’t been robbed or something.

Jeez, I didn’t think I stank that bad.

“Walk of shame, I see,” Adam said, joining the party.

“Is that the sound of jealousy?” I cupped the back of my ear.

“You couldn’t be further from the truth, as you’ll find out soon enough, but please, dude, go grab a shower because you stink.”

“Thanks. I love you all too.” I took the stairs two at a time to the second floor and went straight to my old room.

After the shower, my muscles felt that kind of good tired you got from a solid workout, and, boy, had I gotten one this morning. I put on some old jeans and a T-shirt I kept here and made my way downstairs.

My parents’ kitchen was the heart of the house, so it wasn’t surprising to hear all the activity coming from there.

“Oh Adam! This is such great news, honey. I’m beyond happy…with happiness.”

I chuckled from the door. “Nice and eloquent, huh, Mamã?”

She gave me a you’re-in-trouble look, and I replied with a what-did-I-do-this-time shrug.

I went straight to my grandma, wrapping my arms around her. “Avó, how come you get younger every week?”

“Not to mention more beautiful, but it’s my ability to see through your crap that really gives me that edge.”

I laughed and gave her a kiss.