Page 8 of The Eternal Mirror (Lucifer’s Mirror #3)

When I Don’t Even Get to Taste the Pina Colada

I keep my eyes closed. Maybe it was all a bad dream, and I’m actually lying on the beach in Hawaii, under a striped umbrella, with a pina colada on a bamboo table beside me, Khaos close by, dressed in nothing but a pair of.

..pink swim shorts, all his gleaming muscles on display.

I can’t decide which to grab first; Khaos or my pina colada, so I reach out with both hands and—

“I know you’re awake, princess.”

Nooo!

Unfortunately, that’s not Khaosti’s voice pulling me out of my delicious daydream.

“So you might as well open your eyes. ”

But I don’t want to. The whine runs through my head. I try to cling to my fantasy, but my pina colada is fading away, and I never even got a taste. I’ve never had a cocktail. How sad is that?

I blink open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. “Are we all alive?” I ask. If the answer is no, then I’m not moving.

“Yeah, we’re all alive.”

I roll my head to the side, and find Zayne slouched in a velvet chair, all exhaustion and haunted eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I bet he’s regretting the moment I ever entered his life.

“Me too.” He straightens and runs a trembling hand through his thick hair.

I push myself up on my elbows and search the room. Josh is lying on a sofa close by; he’s fast asleep, a blanket pulled over him so I can just see the edge of his face and his messy hair. But I can see the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

“Is he all right?” I ask.

“No. He’s totally fucking traumatized. He’ll need therapy for the rest of his life. He’ll probably wake up and ask for Pete.”

I almost smile at that—Pete is our foster father, also known as the foster father from Hell. At least Zayne’s still able to joke.

I push myself up further so I’m leaning against the wall behind me. We’re alive. At least that gives me something to work with.

“Seriously, Amber, how did things get so fucked up?” He swipes his hand over his face. “That guy is a fucking psycho. I’m starting to actually feel sorry for that asshole Khaos. That’s how bad things are. ”

“Yeah, he had a horrible childhood.” I don’t think it was so bad when he was younger.

I think he spent most of his time with his half-brother Khendril.

Then Khendril vanished when Khaos was eleven—actually, to look after me—and Khaos was left to the less-than-tender mercies of his father.

“When he was eleven, Khronus forced him into his wolf form and kept him like that for six months.”

“Jesus, it’s a wonder he’s even sane. I had a few hours of it, and I was ready to tear my own head off.

And I would have as well, rather than hurt Josh.

But I couldn’t help myself. It was like I had no control over my actions.

He was saying kill, and I would have done it.

And I would have killed myself at the first chance afterward.

” He takes a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is—thank you.

What you did was incredibly brave and really stupid. ”

“Not so stupid. I was the same as you. I would rather have died than let him hurt you two.” My eyes prick, and I blink, then sniff. “Anyway, enough of the sappy stuff. What happened? How did we get here?”

“You mean after you fainted?” He smirks, and it’s so good to see a glimpse of the old Zayne that I don’t mind him making fun of me.

“I blacked out—probably a witch thing. But not before I saw you puking your guts up.”

“At least I didn’t faint. And not much happened. I didn’t see your boyfriend’s dad again. A bunch of guards appeared, one of them picked you up, and the others hustled us here. They locked us in—I checked the door.”

“How long have I been out?”

“A couple of hours. You were smiling in your sleep, so I didn’t try to wake you. Might as well enjoy yourself while you can.”

I take stock of myself. I don’t think I’m damaged in any way, and deep inside me, I can feel my magic awakening. It’s nowhere near full strength, but it’s there. A little more, and I can think about making a mirror and getting us all out of here.

Once I get Zayne and Josh to safety on Valandria, I’ll come back and destroy every mirror in the Chamber. And with no mirror mages left, Khronus will be stuck here. Much like my father was in Hell.

“Did you come on your own?” Zayne asked. “Where’s your asshole shadow?”

“I left him behind. His father would have killed him this time. And my coming here was a bit of an impulse. What happened? How did they take you?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. One minute I was heading to find Josh, and the next someone knocked me out, and I woke up in that arena.”

So clearly, he doesn’t know about Winter’s involvement.

I need to decide. Should I tell him? I'm not sure how deeply he was involved with Winter. I know they were sleeping together because Josh tattled on him—he’s such a little snitch.

But was Zayne’s heart involved? Or just his hormones?

Either way, I think he's going to be devastated by the news of her death.

But he's a grown-up. He deserves to know the truth. How do I start?

“Winter's dead,” I say .

He goes completely still, shock stamped on his face. “She can't be dead. I saw her just before I was knocked out. She was okay. She was fine.” He glares at me, as if willing me to take it back. I hold his gaze and finally, his shoulders slump. “What happened?”

“She betrayed us,” I say. “She’d been approached by spies working for Khronus. They wanted me. They infiltrated the headquarters while everyone was busy fighting, but when they came to see her, she told them that I wasn’t there. I was gone. And so they took you and Josh instead.”

He runs his hand through his hair and presses his fingers to his eyes, as if he can make the thoughts go away. “I don't believe it. Why? Why would she do that? I thought she—” He breaks off.

Was he going to say he thought Winter loved him?

Maybe. I can't bear to see him hurting like this. What a crappy mess everything is. And it all comes back to Khronos. “It wasn’t Winter’s fault,” I tell him.

“It really wasn’t. Khronos has her brother somewhere—likely here in the dungeons maybe.

I don’t know. He’s her only family; the rest are dead.

She was told that they would kill him if she didn’t give them the information they wanted.

” I swing off the bed and cross to where he’s sitting.

Kneeling beside him, I rest a hand on his taut thigh.

“Think about it. I would probably have done the same for you or Josh. We all have to make horrible decisions occasionally. She was so broken, Zayne. Whatever she did, it didn’t come easily—and she died for it. ”

“How? How did she die?”

“Does it matter? ”

He sighs and drops his head into his hands, staring at the floor for a moment. I sit back on my heels and hope he's not going to cry. Is that selfish of me? Maybe, but I don't know whether I can deal with Zayne crying. He's always been so strong.

“Was it quick?” he asks.

Oh, gods. What do I say? That she bled out on the floor of the corridor? That she was still alive when we found her? Which was probably quite a while after it happened.

I decide on a version of the truth. “She was stabbed. She lost a lot of blood. I don't think she was entirely with it when we found her, but she didn't seem to be suffering—apart from guilt.”

“God,” he says. “I hate this. I hate it all.”

I stay quiet for a while, letting him come to terms with it. Finally, he raises his head. “It's a mistake letting people get close,” he says.

And I can't help thinking that maybe he's including me and even Josh.

“It's a mistake,” he repeats. “They use you, or someone else uses your love against you. It makes you weak.”

I want to argue, but I can’t, because I've been thinking the same thing.

Look at the reason I'm here—because I love Zayne and Josh.

But would I have it any other way? I don't think so.

Then I consider all the potential pain, because I have to admit, in my short life, love has brought me far more grief than joy.

But I don't want to go down that path. Instead, I say, “I love you.”

He looks at me, and I see a faint flicker of humor in his eyes.

“Yeah. Look at the mess you’re in because of that.

” He seems to give himself a shake. “Whatever.

It's done. She's gone. And we've got to figure out how to get that little guy out of here.” He waves a hand to where Josh is still sleeping. He’s twitching and he lets out a short whimper. No smiling in his sleep for poor Josh. I dread to think what he’s dreaming about.

Then Zayne looks back at me. “Just how fucked are we? Can you get us out of here?”

“I think I will be able to, soon. I'm just a little depleted at the moment. I had to use a lot of magic when we—”

I break off because I realize I haven't had a chance to tell him what went down in Hell. I haven't told him that I finally managed to meet my father. Or that I killed him. Or... There is so much I haven’t told him.

Maybe now's not the time. But I can see the sadness behind his eyes, and it might stop him from dwelling on Winter and the shit things love makes you do.

“You were saying? When we...what?” he asks. Then he frowns. “You were gone. You and the asshole. No one knew where. Where were you, Amber?”

“We went to Hell,” I say.

He stares at me for a moment, eyes narrowing. “Let me get this straight. You went to Hell, and you couldn't even be bothered to fucking say goodbye?”

“You would have wanted to come,” I say, “and I couldn't let that happen. It was too dangerous.”

“Oh yeah? Well, that really worked out well. Because it was so safe where you left us. ”

“You’re alive, aren’t you?” I snap.

“Just, and for how long?”

Good point. I sigh. “I'm sorry. But I felt I had to do it. I was going to go alone, but...”

“But you took the asshole.”