Page 61 of The Eternal Mirror (Lucifer’s Mirror #3)

Oh, Shit No

“ I s she real?” I ask.

“I have no fucking clue,” Khaos replies. “But she looks real.” He sounds as dazed as I feel. It’s hard coming back from that place. The one where you’ve accepted your own death.

For a moment, I just stare. He’s right; she certainly looks real. Well, as real as she ever does.

Does this mean she’s come to help? She’s always said she couldn’t, at least not physically, because she was stuck in the void with the Mirror. Except I suppose the Mirror is here now…

I blow out my breath, Nightfall drops to my side, and I take a step toward her. I’ve got to believe that this is good news. Because otherwise, I don’t have the strength to go on. I’m drained—emotionally, physically, and magically.

But as I open my mouth to say something profound, the mirror ripples again, and someone else steps through. I freeze in place as Thanouq nods to me. What the hell is he doing here? What’s happening?

Thanouq steps away from the mirror, just as Zayne pops out of it.

I don’t know why I’m not more surprised.

Zayne takes one look at me, and horror flashes across his face—I guess I look pretty bad.

Josh and Grimlet hurtle through next. Josh sees me, crosses the space between us at a run, and throws himself at me.

Ouch.

I do my best not to scream as he wraps his arms around my broken ribs. Fuck, that hurts. Black dots dance before my eyes. I’m pretty sure it’s only Khaos’s hand on my arm that keeps me on my feet. Josh steps back. “Sorry, Amber. I just missed you.”

“It’s only been a day.”

Though admittedly a very long one. I search his face. He looks okay. Though there’s still that strange silver light in his eyes, as though there’s a star peeking out at me. But he’ll do.

I look around at them, and something inside me melts.

I love them all. But I have to ask, “What the hell are you doing here? I sent you away. To safety.” I cast Thanouq a narrow-eyed glare.

“You were supposed to keep them safe. Not fucking come back with them.” I’m yelling at this point, and it takes the last of my energy.

I close my eyes and try to stay upright.

“Amber,” Selene says. “Let me help. ”

I open my eyes, and she’s standing right in front of me. How did that happen? I think I must be passing in and out of consciousness. Or reality.

I’m not very happy with her right now. But I’m also not in a position to turn down any help. I nod.

Selene rests a hand over my heart, and I feel her power pulse through me, and the pain slides away. The exhaustion is gone.

“Thanks,” I say grudgingly.

Then I just stand for a moment, enjoying the absence of agony.

Though I’m still hungry.

“Has anyone got any food?” I ask hopefully.

Zayne grins and steps forward. He’s dressed in the uniform of Thanouq’s personal guard—all black except for the griffin on his chest. He hands me a bag. “I brought supplies just in case,” he says.

“You mean just in case we had five minutes to spare before Khronus annihilates us all?”

He shrugs. “You’re always hungry.”

I think about denying it but decide to investigate inside the bag instead.

There’s a bottle of water, and I hand it to Khaos.

He pulls out the cork and takes a swallow, then gives it back to me.

I gulp down the warmish water, which cleans my mouth of the taste of blood and smoke.

I dig out some bread next and offer it to Khaos, but he shakes his head, so I take a bite.

“I’ll go see what’s happening,” Khaos says.

I nod and then look at them—all watching me.

“I have an army at your command,” Thanouq says. “Just say the word, and they will come through. ”

“That’s a sweet thought, but I don’t think an army will help.”

At the same time, my mind is spinning with ideas, ways to get through this, but I’ve been here before, and as far as I can tell, nothing has changed. Or has it?

I turn to Selene. “Are you here to help?”

“The mirror is complete. The splinter has returned, and it is whole once more.”

“So you could have a rest now. Or you could turn your mind to something useful—like killing Khronus.”

“I told you. I cannot kill him.”

“Because of the vow you made after you killed your bonded mate?” I ask, taking another bite of bread and chewing.

“Yes, but we were no longer bonded,” she replies, a faraway look in her eyes. “Vortex severed the bond. He planned to leave me behind, to go through the mirror alone. I told myself that I killed him to save this world. But in fact, I killed him out of anger and hurt—mostly anger.

“Hmm, a woman scorned.”

“When I realized what I had done—not killing Vortex but breaking the mirror—I vowed I would not kill another.”

“Just how did you kill him?”

“I stabbed him through the heart with my horn.”

Zayne winces at that. I might have threatened him with my pointy horn a time or two.

“It’s fatal even to one of the first gods,” Selene concludes .

“So I could kill Khronus that way?” Except it’s not killing him that’s the problem; it’s getting through the magic that protects him. “Can you break through his wards?”

“No, they are powered by dark magic. My magic is of celestial fire, and they repel each other.”

So, I’ve noticed. That’s not good. Something occurs to me. “Didn’t you bestow some of Vortex's powers on Khaos to help me? Could he break through the wards?”

She shakes her head. “He received the ability to wield the dark flame and his power to shift, but not his magic. That went back to the mirror when Vortex perished.”

Crap. I pace a few steps and then back. I’m no better off.

The problem is, as soon as I feel better, I don’t want to die. And anyway, dying would hardly serve a purpose now that the people I was trying to save are all here. I look at my little group of family and friends. “I don’t suppose I could persuade you all to go back where you came from?”

They just stare at me blankly. I’m guessing that’s a no.

“Just why did you bring them here?” I ask Selene.

“Because I suspected that you planned to destroy the Mirror and, with it, this world. I killed my love to stop that, but I find myself strangely reluctant to kill you.”

“Not that I’d let you.” I make a mental note not to get too close to that pointy horn of hers.

She smiles. “I presumed you would reconsider that plan of action if I brought your loved ones here. ”

“You are such a complete manipulative bitch,” I say. She doesn’t disagree. Then I shrug. “Anyway, it was a wasted effort. I’d already decided not to destroy the Mirror. I’m not a megalomaniac murderer.” Zayne snorts. I cast him a dark look. “Though I might make an exception in certain cases.”

“What were you going to do?” Zayne asks.

I don’t answer, as I haven’t the time to come up with anything, and I don’t think he’ll like the truth. He raises a brow, so I give a nonchalant shrug. “I hadn’t decided.”

His eyes narrow as he studies me. “You were committing suicide. You and the asshole.”

I wince. I wouldn’t have put it quite like that. “Of course we weren’t.”

I can almost see the cogs spinning in his mind. “You couldn’t destroy the world—I knew you wouldn’t be able to, by the way—and you thought that if you were dead, then there was a chance Khronus would lose interest and not come after us,” Zayne says.

He’s such a bright boy under all that attitude. “What a load of crap.”

He steps closer and pokes me in the chest with his finger. I would chop it off if I had the energy. “I can’t believe you would be such a coward as to kill yourself. To give up. What were you thinking?”

I open my mouth to...lie. Then I close it again.

We’ve been through so much; he deserves the truth.

“I was thinking that I couldn’t beat him.

That I couldn’t face watching him destroy everyone I love.

And that I’m tired. I’m just nineteen, and I’m so tired of all the pain and the killing and the.

..” I trail off, wrap my arms around myself, and try to hold myself together.

Because it doesn’t look like anything has changed.

He looks horrified at my answer. “I’m sorry, Amber,” he says.

“Yeah. Me too.” Something occurs to me, and I turn to Selene. “What happens when we die?” I mean, it might not be so bad after all.

She frowns. “Is that a trick question?”

I roll my eyes. “I mean, is there a heaven, or do we just die dead, or get reincarnated or...” I run out of options and just look at her questioningly.

“How would I know?” she says. “I’ve never died.”

Luckily, Khaos comes back at that point, or I might have shifted and stabbed her with through the heart.

“What’s happening?” I ask.

“He’s just loitering by the Mirror.”

“He waits for you,” Selene says. “He knows you will come.”

“He does?” Am I so predictable?

“The mirror is drawn to you. Khronus knows it will never be his to control until he controls you or he kills you. You need to stop him, Amber. And you can. I can see now--this has always been your destiny.”

Fucking destiny.

“Redemption comes on wings of darkness,” Thanouq says quietly. I glance at him, remembering when he first spoke those words. When his people first saw Frenzy and went down on their knees. Apparently there’s a prophecy .

I’d thought it was all about me killing Lucifer. But it turns out Lucifer was never the real problem. Just a symptom.

But the prophecy thing had totally freaked me out. Now, I really try to see it as a positive thing. Redemption is good, right?

“But how do I do it? I’ve tried so hard, and nothing works.”

“I do not know,” Selene replies. “But I hope.”

She hopes ? I need more than that.

“You have to dig deep inside yourself,” she says. “And you will find what you need.”

She sounds so much like Hecate. My aunt used to say something similar. Over and over again. It got really boring. But with that thought, a memory flashes through my mind.

Oh, shit no.