Page 53 of The Eternal Mirror (Lucifer’s Mirror #3)

Khaos

M y anger melts away quicker than it came, and I’m left with an overwhelming sense of desolation that twists my insides.

I fly through the night with no destination in mind, because I have no clue where to go. I feel untethered in the vastness of space and the darkness of night.

Amber wants to break the bond.

I knew from the beginning that she wasn’t happy with the idea of being bonded to me, or not to me specifically, but to anybody. It was just one more choice taken away from her. But I believed we had moved beyond that.

I know she loves me, but it’s clear she doesn’t want to. She wants to be free of the “curse” of my love .

Who’s bitter now?

What if the bond was severed?

Would I be free?

Do I want to be free?

“No!” I throw back my head and scream the word into the night, fire flaring from my nostrils.

I can’t envision a future without Amber.

Love might be pain, but she’s a part of me now, carved into my soul. She is my blood. My breath. My reason. Maybe the bond can be cut, but it will forever leave its scars on my heart.

I failed her. I was supposed to make things easier for her, to be a safe haven where she could hide from the horrors of the world.

Except I’ve just become one more thing she needs to hide from.

She’s only nineteen, and she’s accepted the idea of her own death with a scary calmness and equanimity. She should be fighting for life, fighting for us. But she’s given up.

I should have seen it, but she’s been hiding from me, and I thought to give her space. I was wrong. Maybe there was a moment when I could have turned things around, or maybe this was inevitable—destiny.

Fuck destiny. I will not give in.

I vowed to keep her safe, to love her forever, to give her whatever she needs, to not stand in her way. And I will stick to that vow, even if it means destroying this world and everything in it.

Except I don’t want to die.

For many years, I didn’t care whether I lived or died. I felt I had nothing to live for. Now I do, and I will not give her up so easily .

I will do what I can to give her what she needs.

And if I fail, I will give her what she so clearly wants.

Her freedom.