Page 50 of The Eternal Mirror (Lucifer’s Mirror #3)

Who Made Me God?

G ardens surround the house. They must have been beautiful once. Now, like everything here, they are faded, the colors muted.

We walk for a while in silence.

I know Zayne, and I was always aware that we would have to have this conversation. He wasn’t just going to blindly head off to Valandria and leave me behind. And maybe he deserves the truth. I dragged him into this, after all.

A lot of what’s happened in my life was decided at birth. Destiny. Magic. Celestial fire. Nobody asked if I wanted any of it. But I got it all the same.

But I did have a choice with Zayne .

And the thing is, if I’d managed to keep my distance from Zayne and Josh—and believe me, I tried my fucking hardest—then I might have had a chance to actually come through this.

Zayne would never have gotten embroiled in my mess.

He’d be back on Earth, happily getting into all sorts of trouble.

Normal trouble. Not the kind of trouble that involves being kidnapped by megalomaniacal monsters with god complexes.

And Khronus would never have had any leverage to bring me to this place.

That’s what love does. Fucks you over.

And I think Zayne might actually understand. After all, he’s been at the mercy of Khronus’s powers before. Khronus nearly made him kill Josh. And Zayne would never have come back from that. He wouldn’t want to live in a world where Khronus has free rein to do as he pleases.

“Tell me what’s really going on,” he says, finally breaking the silence.

I glance back to make sure no one can hear this conversation. How do I word this? I need to convince him to go. “I don’t think I can beat Khronus.”

He stops walking, and we turn to look at each other. “So, there’s no plan with Selene? You made that up?”

“Not quite. But all Selene wants is the Eternal Mirror whole again, before it completely implodes. She doesn’t care—or at least it’s not a priority for her—whether Khronus dies or not. She’s willing to make a deal with him if it gets her the missing piece of the mirror.”

“What happens if the mirror implodes? ”

“It reverses creation. The Astral Plane was created by the power of the mirror, and it would vanish as though it had never existed, along with everyone here.”

He frowns. “Then it sounds like she might have a point. And maybe her priorities are right.”

“You are so wrong. The only thing Khronus desires is to be a true god, and if she gives him that, then no one can stop him. Including Selene. And I have seen visions of the world under Khronus.”

He scrubs a hand over his face. “Okay, let’s take a step back. That’s what Selene wants, to fix the mirror. What do you want?”

This is it. “If I can’t kill Khronus, then I will destroy the Mirror.”

His face goes blank while he thinks about that. “You’ll destroy the Mirror, which in turn will destroy the Astral Plane and everyone on it?”

I give a sharp nod.

“And what happens to Valandria and Earth?”

“They should be okay.”

“They should be okay?” he says, quietly at first. Then he takes a step toward me and yells, “They should be fucking okay? Are you completely out of your fucking mind?”

Well, that didn't go as well as I hoped. “I thought you, of all people, would understand.”

“Why the fuck would I understand?” he growls out the question. He’s prowling back and forth in front of me now, like a caged beast.

And now I’m yelling too. “Because he nearly made you kill Josh.” His eyes widen, and I force myself to lower my voice.

“ Because you’ve seen what evil he’s capable of.

He destroyed my father and my mother. He was ultimately responsible for a war that’s been going on for thousands of years, which would have decimated Valandria if I hadn’t killed my father.

Look at what he did to the witches. And he killed Sheela.

He will kill Khaosti.” He’s quiet, and I push on.

“This way, Astrali will be gone, but I’ll save the other worlds from an eternity of servitude under an evil despot who will probably end up blowing us all up anyway. ”

He stares down at me, condemnation in his eyes. “Who made you a god, Amber? Who gave you the right to decide who lives and who dies?”

I was reaching out for him, but his words stop me in my tracks. Like a knife to my heart. I nearly break then.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea,” he says, digging the knife in a little deeper. “Why don’t we take a vote? Ask the people of Astrali if they’re happy for you to destroy their world and them with it.”

“It might not come to that. I might be able to find a way to stop Khronus without destroying the Mirror. But I just don’t know.”

He paces some more. I wrap my arms around myself. If he doesn’t agree to go, to take Josh to safety, then I can’t do this.

Finally, he stops in front of me. “I get it—you want him dead.”

“This isn’t personal. He needs to die.”

He shakes his head. “The hell it isn’t personal. You want to annihilate him, and you don’t care about the cost.”

“Yes, I want to annihilate him. But not at any cost. Not at the cost of you and Josh. ”

“So, we get to live while thousands die. Maybe millions. Do you even know how many people you’d kill if you go through with this crazy idea? Most of them innocent.”

“No one is innocent. Khronus has been king for thousands of years. They should have stopped him long before now. Instead, they just sat by as he dragged the worlds down around them. And now it’s up to me.

I didn’t ask for this. All I wanted was a family.

To be normal and happy and...” I press my lips together and take a deep breath.

“You asked me who made me a god. They did. All of them. All my life, they told me I was special. That I had a destiny. And I fulfilled it. Only it still isn’t over. Still, they want more.”

I realize I’m crying, and I scrub away the tears with the palm of my hand. “But I will end it now. I’m only nineteen, and you know what—I already know I will never get that normal life.”

He’s staring at me now, horror stamped on his face. “Oh God, Amber. I’m sorry. I never thought...”

“Do this for me. Save Josh. Give him a good life. Please, Zayne.”

He stares at me for long moments, then gives a nod. “Fine. I’ll go. But promise me something. If there’s even one chance—one tiny fucking chance—to do this without destroying everything...you take it.”

It’s my turn to nod.

“And don’t expect me to forgive you if you don’t even try.”

I don’t say anything to that—what is there to say?

“Yeah, right,” he growls. “Why the fuck would you care if I forgive you? You’ll be dead as well.”

Then the air shivers around us, and I step back as Zayne vanishes, leaving his basilisk standing before me. It launches upward and screams its rage at the world before disappearing from sight.

I don’t know how long I stare at the sky. Khaosti comes up beside me. “What was that about?” he asks.

“Nothing important. Just Zayne being Zayne.” I turn toward him, wrap my arms around his waist, and rest my cheek against his chest. I need his strength for just a few moments.

Because I think I might have saved Zayne and Josh.

But I don’t think, given the way things are, that there is any way I can save Khaosti. Not unless Selene agrees to sever the bond, which seems increasingly unlikely. So I hold on to him, just for a moment longer, and pretend I don’t already know how this ends