Page 16

Damn, but these friends of hers were protective.

“I have an appointment with Lilah,” I said, nodding my head toward her.

For some reason, Georgiana didn’t reply to me, but spoke to Lilah. “Does he?”

Here I was, helping their club restore the reputation they’d manage to lose, and I was being treated like the enemy. Like I’d managed to force my way into the heart of the castle and was about to disappear off with the princess.

Fine, I was intending to head out with Lilah as soon as I can.

But not for anything nefarious.

Probably.

Lilah looked over at me. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

A shiver of disappointment rushed down my back. “You’re not?”

“Then you should go,” said Georgiana firmly. “Lilah?—”

“I sent the invitation to you,” I said over her friend, not looking at the interloper. “You accepted. I thought you were expecting me—I'm actually five minutes late.”

The stupid street had been almost impossible to cross, the number of carriages so frequent.

But Lilah looked confused. “That’s today?” Then her cheeks colored, and she stood hastily, smoothing her gown. “I mean—great. I thought it was—and you’re here. Great.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Georgiana frown.

Well, it was clear I wasn’t popular with her friends. At least, this friend. But they were polite enough, and clearly Lady Cartice would not actually dismiss her friend’s decision.

“You haven’t forgotten that wager of ours, have you?” I said slyly.

I saw by the color in Lilah’s face that she hadn’t. Good. Did she spend much time thinking about how I could pleasure her?

I sure as hell did.

“Come on, we’ll be late,” I said, jerking my head to the door.

For a heart stopping moment, I thought she wouldn’t come with me. There was something most odd going on with her and her friend, and I couldn’t tell what the hell it was.

And then she was by my side, saying something to her friend about finishing the report tomorrow, and we were in the corridor. We were alone.

It was only as we walked through the corridor to the hallway that I realized how much tension I’d been holding in my chest.

I breathed out slowly.

God, being apart from her was becoming increasingly difficult. All I wanted was to be near her. To see her smile. To know I could?—

Hell’s bells .

I was getting in too deep. This was a favor—a wager, I told myself as we stood in silence as Lilah placed on her bonnet before walking out of her townhouse.

Nothing more than that.

“So what’s this about?” Lilah asked as we stepped out onto the street.

London had changed in just the few minutes I was inside. Dusk had swiftly become night, and Lilah pulled her pelisse tightly around her, shivering as her breath blossomed onto the breeze.

I grinned. “Dinner.”

She blinked. “Dinner?”

It had seemed like a great idea at the time. A chance for the two of us to reset. To re-establish the boundaries, to make sure we were both on the same page.

And besides, it wasn’t like Lilah could try to tell me she didn’t eat dinner.

“You’re not hungry?” I said easily, starting to walk along the street.

Lilah hurried to keep up with me. “Of course, but?—”

“Great,” I said cheerfully, as though my clever plan was all coming together.

Clever plan.

It wasn’t much of a plan. Being bedded by a dowager duchess had been something of a challenge when we’d first got together, and it had taken me a while to get used to the fact that anything I could pay for, Lilah could buy the business who made it.

A man’s pride has to go somewhere, though.

And mine had gone into finding the absolute best places to eat. There wasn’t a restaurant in London I hadn’t tried to find somewhere that would impress.

We didn’t talk much as we walked. The streets were noisy, and crowded, and somehow I didn’t know what to say.

My lips cracked into a grin though as we arrived and Lilah grabbed my hand.

“Vincent’s! Oh my God, I had no idea they were still open!”

I laughed as Lilah’s natural excitement spilled over. “You thought it was gone?”

“I had no idea they moved!” Lilah said, her eyes shining as she looked at the sign. “Our favorite French restaurant!”

“Your favorite French restaurant,” I corrected, opening the door for her.

Lilah slipped inside with the elegance and grace of a woman who knew precisely what she was worth—but she rather spoiled the effect by squealing as I followed her. “Even the menu is the same!”

I couldn’t help but beam as I watched her croon over the French desserts carefully placed in a counter behind glass.

Impressing Lilah with money? There was no point. She was at least fifty times wealthier than I was, and had the opportunity to earn more in the future as part of the Gambling Dukes. Trying to hold onto my manly desperation to treat her to jewelry and fine wines wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

But this…

Lilah slipped her hand into mine, squeezed it, then quickly released it before I could tell what was going on. “I can’t believe you found this place—how did you do it? Accident?”

I hesitated.

Accident? To be sure, if you call going down all the little alleyways of London in desperate search for your ex-lover’s favorite French restaurant an accident…

Not that I was going to admit to that.

“I just came across it a few days ago,” I said with as nonchalant a shrug as I could manage. “Thought you might appreciate a taste of the old days.”

A taste of the old days.

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

What was I doing? Trying to force Lilah to take me back? Try to recreate a moment in our past that surely could not be found again?

Lilah’s eyes were wide as she stammered. “Y-You…the old?—”

“May I seat you?” murmured a waiter behind her.

Lilah spun around swiftly, as though grateful for the excuse not to look at me. “Yes! Yes, please, a table for two…”

It was only after we had been seated, given menus, been brought a bottle of champagne as a token of their appreciation for coming, and sat in awkward silence for a minute or two, that Lilah spoke again.

“Mr. Parry. William.”

I looked up over my menu, and my stomach lurched. “Lilah.”

There was a shyness about her that I knew well, though most people never got to see it. She was nervous. Wary, even.

Because of me.

“What is…what is all this for?” Lilah said with a gentle shrug of her shoulders.

I didn’t need to ask her what she meant. I’d gone beyond what a friend would do, and found something of our shared past that would bring up a bunch of memories .

Memories that I, for one, had thought I would never have to face again.

Memories that were warm, yet sad. Memories I had thought would sustain me forever, but I was craving new ones. New moments with Lilah, the Dowager Duchess of Rotherwick.

“This is for you,” I said simply.

Somehow my hand was on the table, and so was hers. There was but an inch between them, and yet despite everything I craved, I couldn’t bridge the gap. I couldn’t take her hand in mine.

Lilah’s hand did not move and neither did her steady gaze. “Don’t…don’t hurt me again, William.”

Her words broke my heart.

Don’t hurt her? She was the one who had run out on what we had, who had abandoned me. Who had given up, and I still didn’t know why.

But as I was about to say all this, I saw something deep within her gaze I had never seen before.

True pain. Vulnerability. And an ache to be close again.

I swallowed as guilt rushed into my chest. I must have done something. Whatever it was, I regretted it—and if I knew, I would tell her.

But this wasn’t the right time to go over the past. This was the time to make new memories, create new moments. To see if this time, Lilah and I could work.

Screwing up all my courage, I shifted my hand an inch. I took hers in mine. And I did not look away as I said quietly, “I won’t, Lilah. I won’t hurt you. Not ever.”