Page 10
I tried to put her out of mind. It was a lot harder said than done.
Soon.
What did that mean? And how could I understand the plethora of emotions behind that single word that had been uttered by the messenger boy minutes ago?
Damnit, I was reading too much into that. Lilah had no desire to revisit the past, and I needed to take the hint.
Even if I hated it.
“So sir, is there anything else we can do for you?” asked one of my footmen.
I drew in a deep breath and tried to remind myself I had have responsibilities other than saving Lilah’s arse.
Oh no. Now I was thinking of?—
“We’ve got a dinner to host this evening, and I believe the silver needs an additional polish,” I said, trying to refocus myself.
That was it. I needed to keep building up the reputation of my household, and that meant hosting dinners for the great and the good.
There were only two dinners this week. That was, I was having dinner every evening, but I was only hosting two.
Perhaps I should make the most of it, in case my reputation fell with the Gambling Dukes.
I pushed the thought aside. I couldn’t dwell on that now—if this thing with the Gambling Dukes worked out, I wouldn’t have to worry about retaining my place in Society for the rest of my life.
I just had to make it another few months.
“So,” I said as the drawing room door slammed open. “Once the silver is polished?—”
“What on earth were you thinking?”
I blinked. Lilah was standing in the doorway, hands on hips, glaring as though I’d sold her firstborn.
The tension was palpable. All the goodwill I thought I’d managed to earn, all the genius I’d discovered last night—it was all gone.
Lilah’s irritation was obvious, and I could see immediately that my footmen could feel it.
I couldn’t have that. Servants should not be exposed to the pains of their masters.
Time for a hasty decision.
“Why don’t you two go down to the kitchens,” I said quietly. “Tell Cook you deserve double portions of your own luncheon.”
They didn’t need a second invitation. The little encouragement I’d given them to leave was quickly snatched up, and they awkwardly stepped around Lilah as she glowered, not taking her gaze from me.
And though I shouldn’t, I found I was…enjoying it.
Well, this was the Lilah I knew. The unrestrained, unpolished Lilah. The one who spoke from the heart and wasn’t afraid of making it clear what she thought.
The Lilah who had disappeared when we had fallen apart.
The door shut behind my servants and only then did Lilah take another step forward. “I cannot believe you would be so stupid!”
“Stupid?” I repeated blankly .
Stupid? The poster was a great idea. Gorgeous portrait of Lilah, simplicity, and wording that worked on multiple levels.
Best of all, it had Lilah’s face on it. She was quite literally the face of the Gambling Dukes to those who may wish to wager, it made sense to center the poster on her. It was genius, though I said so myself.
So it was crushing to see the disdain dripping from Lilah’s lips as she laughed. “I’ve never seen anything more amateur!”
“Amateur,” I repeated, hardly able to think.
Amateur? What on earth was she saying?
Lilah shook her head as she dropped her reticule onto a chair. “Is that all you can do, repeat what I say? I thought you could actually assist in lifting our reputations, William. That’s the only reason I’m here, after all. It’s not like I wanted—you were meant to be good at this!”
That was enough to spark enough irritation to loosen my tongue. “I am good at this!”
“Really? Because I don’t think the Count of Guadalencia is suddenly going to think the Gambling Dukes is worth gambling with just because they’ve seen my face splattered about the place!” said Lilah, her cheeks reddening.
Ah.
Well, I probably should have realized Lilah would be a little embarrassed by having her face on the posters…
“I could have just grabbed a generic silhouette of a lady, but I wanted to use you,” I began quietly. “Because?—”
“Because you wanted to humiliate me?” Lilah interjected. “Is this part of our stupid wager?”
My stomach turned over. “The wager? You think I did this to humiliate you?”
God, I’d almost forgotten about it. But I did promise to please her, didn’t I?
“I bet I could make you quiver as you came. I’d wager, before the year is out, I’ll do just that.”
Well, this hadn’t worked.
Did she have any idea how beautiful she was? How engaging, how the way she looked made me trust her, made everyone sit up and take notice?
I gawped, trying to understand how on earth Lilah could be insulted by this.
Lilah was breathing heavily, as though she’d run from wherever her carriage had deposited her. “I want you to tear down the posters.”
“You cannot be serious.”
“William, I have never been more serious,” she said darkly.
And I knew I shouldn’t feel warmth just by hearing her call me by my name, but I was human, wasn’t I? What gentleman wouldn’t want Lilah to speak to them?
To be honest, just talking to her was enough to spark heat in my loins, not that I’d ever admitted as much to her.
“Do you remember,” I said quietly, “when we were lovers, and you said?—”
“I don’t choose to remember those times,” Lilah said, cutting across me.
I winced.
Hell’s bells. So I guess those times had been far better for me than they had for her. It was somehow so much worse hearing that from her own lips, as though I’d made her life a living hell.
I tried to push aside the memories. Lilah, laughing as I tickled her, curled up on a sofa. Lilah, frowning over something in a book she was reading then beaming the moment she caught me looking at her. Lilah, in all her variations: happy, angry, confused, sad…
The woman I had thought I would spend the rest of my?—
“Tear down the posters,” said Lilah flatly. “You should have done something better, William. I expected better.”
Pain mingled with disappointment was flowing through my chest and I couldn’t stem the tide—so I used it.
“I thought it was a great idea, and I think you’ll see a real difference,” I shot back.
“Well your opinion isn’t the one that matters here, is it?” Lilah said smartly. “If you want to improve our reputation using my money, my face, you ask me! I'm the one in charge here, William.”
And something shifted in me.
I knew it shouldn’t. I knew I was letting my feelings—no, my instincts get the better of me. I know that in my right mind, or with any other woman, this wouldn’t even occur to me.
But this wasn’t someone else, and I wasn’t in my right mind. How could I be, with Lilah standing right there?
“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I breathed, taking a step forward. “To be the one in charge?”
Something flickered in Lilah’s gaze as she stepped back. “You heard me, now?—”
“Yes, I heard you, but that doesn’t mean I'm going to listen to you,” I said quietly, taking another step toward her.
My stomach flipped as Lilah took another step back and hit the dining table. There was nowhere else for her to go, except leave.
And she didn’t move.
Because she didn’t want to leave, did she? She wanted to stay here, with me. Just because she couldn’t admit it. Just because she was a little embarrassed by having her portrait used on a poster.
“You should listen to me,” Lilah said quietly, warmth that could be anger or attraction in her voice. “I'm the one in charge, remember, William?”
I chuckled lightly as I reached her, keeping myself just a few inches from her. “You like that, don’t you, Lilah? Being in charge? Being on top?”
Her gaze flickered, just for an instant.
And that was when I knew she was remembering it too. That long weekend we’d taken in Brighton. The hotel with the large bathtub. The way she’d wrapped herself around me, straddling me in the hot water, making me?—
“The trouble is, you miss me telling you precisely what I think of you,” I whispered, leaning forward.
Lilah leaned back, buttocks touching the dining table, and I had to force my hands not to cup them.
I only had so much self-restraint.
Before she could say anything more, before I could, my hands had found her wrists, pinning her to the table. I could feel her pulse, throbbing wildly, and it did something to my manhood that only Lilah could.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Lilah breathed, looking up at me with eyes that begged me to keep going.
“Only what you want,” I said quietly. “You’re the one in charge. You can tell me to stop, to let you go, any time. And I’ll obey, Lilah. I’ll do whatever you want. All you have to do is ask.”
We stood there, the longing we felt for each other building as though we’d never been apart.
God, how had I forgotten how good this was? How every inch of me ached for her, incomplete unless I was touching her .
She did not move away. She said nothing.
And that was all the invitation I needed.
Lilah’s lips were warm as I crushed mine onto hers, and she welcomed me in immediately, as though she’d been waiting her whole life for me to take her in my arms once again.
As her wrists strained against my hands my tongue teased along her lips, parting them in an instant and rewarding her with a sensuous trail in her mouth, sparking pleasure through the both of us.
I could feel it. The aching desire I had for her was being both satisfied and raised to a burning furnace, and Lilah moaned in my mouth, further proof—as though I needed it—that she wanted me.
Oh God, she wanted me.
The kiss was over almost as quickly as it had begun. Though my senses reeled from the intimacy we had shared, my sense of self-preservation overcame them all.
I needed to get out of here.
“The posters stay,” I said curtly, completely ignoring the kiss we had shared. “And that’s final. I’ll report back in a few days what the results are. Until then, I suggest you think what you really want, Lilah.”
It took everything in me to walk out of there. But I knew this wasn’t the way—I couldn’t reclaim Lilah’s heart by teasing her like that.
Not if I wanted to live with myself.