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“I’ll be in touch,” Kineallen said, bowing low and turning away.

I bowed, knowing I should say something but unsure what it should be. Had I offended? Embarrassed myself so utterly the Gambling Dukes didn’t see the point in staying any further?

Something worse?

This was supposed to be their event, their card party—and yet the Duke of Kineallen was leaving?

“We’ll be seeing you,” the Lady Cartice said quietly as she curtseyed before stepping away too.

I blinked. Was that a promise, or a threat?

The two of them walked to the door and it closed behind them. A murmur of chatter rose in the room and I tried to maintain my smile as I approached the only founding member of the Gambling Dukes who hadn’t moved.

Lilah.

“Well?” I said abruptly.

I hadn’t intended my word to sound quite so argumentative, so I couldn’t blame her when she raised an eyebrow.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Well, how do you think it is going?” I amended quietly.

It would be foolish to speak any louder, not with the myriad guests still playing cards, though a few glances did come our way.

Just as I was about to lower myself into a chair which had been unoccupied, Lilah said, “Don’t sit there.”

I lurched upwards, my sense of balance shaking. “Why? ”

It might just have been me, but I was pretty certain Lilah smiled.

The smile, if it had been there, disappeared immediately. “It’s Markham’s chair.”

I glanced down at the seat. It looked like any other chair. “What, your friend the Duke of Markham?”

Your friend Markham, I wanted to say, who ruined the club’s reputation? Who did all the damage I am working hard to undo? And you don’t want me touching his chair?

“Sorry, it’s just…it’s strange,” Lilah said softly. “No one else has ever sat in that chair. I'm being foolish.”

“Just a bit,” I said quietly, but nonetheless I sat in another chair. “So, tell me. How did you think it is going?”

It couldn’t have gone that well. People did not walk out of a card party they were enjoying, and the two other Gambling Duke founders hadn’t even waited for me to get to the end of my hand.

Lilah shrugged.

“Not well?” Try as I might, I couldn’t stop my heart from sinking.

Impressing Lilah had not been something that had ever come easy. I’d had to work at it all through our…well, it was not exactly a courtship, but it appeared I hadn’t quite broken the habit.

God, I wanted her to smile at me. To tell me that I was great at charming Society. That her friends had been impressed—that she had been impressed.

That she was grateful.

I swallowed, pushing the thoughts aside. That was selfish, and entirely what she would expect of me, I was certain. I had to be better than that. Better than I was.

“Yes, I wouldn’t describe it as going well,” Lilah said in a cutting tone. “Not at all. ”

I nodded listlessly. What was I supposed to say to that?

Once again, I’d been crushed by Lilah’s ability to cut me down to size using only just a few words. How did she do it?

And then my brain managed to shout at me something that it had noticed for a little while, even if my mind hadn’t been able to take it in.

She was…smiling.

“What?” I said defensively.

“Come with me,” she said quietly.

The two of us stepped across the room, gaining curious glances as we stepped through the door and into a side room which appeared to be set up to be a reading room. Bookcases lined the walls and there was a comfortable looking sofa near the window.

“You really are an idiot,” Lilah said with a laugh as she sat on the sofa. “It isn’t going well, William. It is better than well. This is very good. Excellent.”

“It…it is?” I said, dazed.

Thank God there was a little space between us, even as I dropped onto the sofa beside her, or I may just have grabbed her arms and asked her to repeat herself.

Good?

That was praise indeed coming from someone with the prowess of someone like Lilah—but considering our history, the way she’d broken my heart by just deciding on her own that she didn’t want to be with me and disappearing off…

Well. Damn.

“Are you sure?” I asked with a wry smile, trying not to let it show just how desperately I needed her approval. “I mean, your friends literally walked out before they had stayed but an hour.”

“They always do that,” Lilah said with a shrug. “They think that once you get past a certain point, you know you can trust someone. Or if you can’t. Then it’s just wasted time.”

I worked hard to keep my face passive. “Oh. Right.”

Well, damn. Dukes and duchesses were certainly different from the rest of us.

“You’ve never had spent much time with nobility, have you?”

I tried to shrug as nonchalantly as I could. “Most of the people I associate with…they’re not like you.”

“Not like me? What do you mean?”

Not perfect. I bit down on the words. Now wasn’t the time to make another ass of myself. “Not dukes and duchesses, I mean. I mostly associate with those in trade. Those who have made something of themselves.”

Lilah frowned. “That cannot be enjoyable.”

I laughed darkly. “They are excellent company, to be honest. And it makes me feel good, being around those who have bettered themselves, who do not merely accept the lot they are given.”

“They don’t benefit you, though, do they? In Society?”

I couldn’t help but feel a little defensive as Lilah spoke. It was probably a stupid habit I’d got into, but I just couldn’t turn down a friendship merely because they could not assist me. I had other friends who could introduce me to the right people—other connections, I should say.

“Yes, well, so it means securing invitations to the most prestigious balls a little harder than it could be,” I said with a shrug. “But it means I can sleep at night.”

Lilah raised an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to be believe you’re a good person?”

Damnit, couldn’t she see me? Why did she have this view of me as such a rogue? “I might be a good person. You know. In secret. ”

“I mean it, William. God, you’re a terrible person, but you’re great at finding the right people,” Lilah said in a rush, her cheeks pink. “You really think you can do that—make wagering with us look like a good decision?”

Her words echoed in my mind.

“God, you’re a terrible person, but you’re great at finding the right people.”

What had I ever done to deserve that? Oh, I'm sure I’d hurt Lilah somehow when she’d taken me as a lover, but she’d never said what I’d done that was so bad.

All water under the bridge now, of course. A woman like that, an absolute queen of my heart, could say anything she wanted right now and I’d probably just lap it up.

God, I wanted her.

I hadn’t allowed myself to think that since I’d seen her at the Norfolk. What, I was going to open up my heart again just to get stomped on? No thank you.

But try as I had to forget her, you just didn’t forget someone like Lilah, the Dowager Duchess of Rotherwick. You could spend your whole life waiting for someone like that, and when they crossed your path, you didn’t let go.

Unless you did.

Then you could spend the rest of your life regretting it.

And she’d accepted my wager to give her pleasure before the year was out…and I hadn’t. Even if I desperately wanted to.

“William?” Lilah prompted.

I stood up hastily, almost tripping over my own feet. “Y-Yes, of course. Wager with the Gambling Dukes—yes, I’ll secure people for you.”

“You don’t seem very certain,” she said with a frown.

Certain? I was certain of two things. First, that I was just as much in love with her as I had been when we were first together. And second, that I had no chance to win her.

“Very certain,” I said with a nod, glancing at my pocket watch. “Oh, look at the time, I’d better be off.”

I’d almost made it to the door before Lilah rose, but the corridor seemed to go on for what felt like an age. By that point, she was standing beside me.

“Who are you off to charm next?” she said quietly.

I tried to smile. “A lady. Can’t talk about it, obviously.”

Lilah nodded. “I see.”

Did she? Could she see the hunger in me for her, the aching need for her? God, I was a complete idiot to think I could be this close to her and not be pulled inexorably back into her orbit.

Damn, I wished I hadn’t agreed to host this card party today.

And I had agreed to have a drink with the Anderley brothers at the Norfolk, though I should probably end the connection soon.

Last I’d heard, they had also been courting the Count of Guadalencia for some investment in their horse breeding affair.

My connection to them simply couldn’t go on while I helped Lilah.

And I knew who I wanted to be associated with in the future.

She was everything I wanted. And I couldn’t have her.

“I’ll be in touch,” I said, hastily stepping into the card room and striding away from the one woman I actually wished to speak with.

A smile danced across Lilah’s lips. “I'm sure you will.”