Page 56 of The Dark Lord Awakens (Dark Service #1)
Lucien/Beau
Sir Formalitee had outdone himself with the preparations, creating what looked like a professional urban planning office. He fluttered nervously around the displays, adjusting models by millimeters and straightening papers that were already perfectly aligned.
“Someone’s excited,” I murmured to Azrael as we approached the hall. “I haven’t seen anyone this worked up since they announced a new season of The Great British Bake Off . Though in this case, it’s more like ‘The Great Demonic Build-Off.’”
“Sir Formalitee has always been… thorough in his administrative duties,” Azrael replied. “Though I admit his current enthusiasm exceeds historical parameters.”
“That’s one way of putting it. The man’s about to vibrate through the floor. I’m worried we’ll need to scrape him off the ceiling before this is over.”
The camp had evolved far beyond my initial expectations.
What started as emergency relief had transformed into a stable community structure.
The kitchens now operated with professional efficiency, the medical facilities had expanded to include preventative care, and educational programs for children and adults were flourishing.
But the most exciting development was today's meeting—the culmination of weeks of planning for the actual rebuilding of Iferona itself.
As we entered, the room fell silent. Unlike my regular briefings with just the department heads, this session included representatives from various citizen groups, guild masters, noble houses, and technical experts who had been studying the reference materials.
All rose and bowed deeply as I approached.
“Please, sit,” I said, waving them back to their seats.
“We’ve got a lot to cover, and I’d rather not waste time on formalities.
Also, if Sir Formalitee has to wait any longer to start his presentation, I think he might actually explode, and I just had this suit cleaned.
Blood and viscera are so hard to get out of silk. ”
A ripple of surprised laughter moved through the room—still tentative, but more genuine than it would have been a month ago. Progress, definitely.
I took my place at the head of the table, Azrael standing at my right as always. “Let’s begin with an overview of the proposed plan. Sir Formalitee, you have the floor before you wear a hole in it with your pacing.”
The administrative demon practically levitated with excitement as he moved to the center of the room.
“Esteemed colleagues, honored representatives, and most exalted lord,” he began, his voice taking on a ceremonial quality.
“Today we embark on a journey that will transform Iferona from a crumbling remnant of past glory into a beacon of innovation and prosperity!”
He gestured dramatically to the central model, which I now realized was illuminated from within, certain areas glowing with different colored lights.
“Behold, the New Iferona! Designed according to the most advanced void principles of urban planning, with integrated systems for water distribution, waste management, transportation, and energy circulation!”
A murmur of appreciation ran through the room. Even I was impressed by the model’s complexity and apparent functionality. Someone had spent way too many hours on this thing, but the results were undeniably cool.
Sir Formalitee pointed to a glowing blue section near the center. “The Administrative District!” he announced with the fervor of a televangelist. “Centered around a magnificent Grand Council Building where all departments may collaborate in unprecedented efficiency!”
He paused, glancing nervously at Azrael. “Naturally, the Grand Council Building will maintain a respectful height differential from the Dark Citadel—no more than sixty percent of its glorious elevation—to preserve the proper symbolic hierarchy of authority.”
I bit back a smile as Azrael gave a nearly imperceptible nod of approval. Heaven forbid anyone build a taller phallus than the dark lord’s castle.
“The Administrative District will also feature specialized buildings for each department,” Sir Formalitee continued, indicating smaller structures surrounding the central building.
“Lady Shadowfax’s Intelligence Division, Lord Taxman’s Treasury Department, and General Smashington’s Military Command will each have dedicated facilities designed to their specific requirements! ”
His paperlike finger moved to a vibrant purple section. “The Commercial District! A revolutionary concept in Iferona’s economic development! Traditional marketplaces enhanced with what the void manuals call ‘retail establishments’!”
He lifted a small model from the table, revealing it to be a miniature multistory building with tiny display windows. “Boutiques! Department stores! Specialized food venues! All arranged around a central plaza with fountains and seating areas to encourage social interaction and consumer activity!”
“So basically a shopping mall,” I translated for the confused-looking citizen representatives. “Places to buy stuff and hang out.”
“Precisely, my lord!” Sir Formalitee beamed. “Though the void term ‘shopping mall’ lacks the gravitas of ‘Commercial Activity Nexus,’ which is how we’ve designated it in the official documentation.”
Of course they had. Bureaucrats were gonna bureaucrat, even in demon form.
His attention shifted to a large green area. “The Residential Districts! Completely reimagined to maximize both population density and quality of life!”
He lifted another model, this one of a tall building with multiple levels. “The apartment concept! Vertical living spaces with integrated utilities and amenities! Each unit self-contained yet part of a larger community structure!”
“How tall are these buildings meant to be?” Azrael inquired, his voice neutral but his eyes narrowed slightly.
Sir Formalitee nearly dropped the model in his haste to answer.
“The preliminary designs suggested optimal efficiency at fifty stories, but we have revised all plans to a maximum of twenty stories, as per your wise guidance, my lord! No structure shall challenge the Dark Citadel’s dominance of the skyline! ”
Azrael nodded, apparently satisfied with this concession to royal architectural penis-measuring. I made a mental note to ask him later if all the demons were this obsessed with symbolic height or if it was just a castle thing.
“Each residential tower will include communal spaces on the ground level,” Sir Formalitee continued, pointing to features on the model.
“Gathering areas, play spaces for young demons, and small gardens maintained by residents! The void manuals call this concept ‘community building’—a most revolutionary approach to social cohesion!”
He moved on to a blue-green section near what appeared to be a river. “The Industrial District! Completely redesigned with what the void manuals call ‘environmental considerations’!”
He launched into an elaborate explanation of waste management systems, water treatment facilities, and manufacturing zones designed to minimize pollution.
The technical details were mind-numbing, but the basic concept was solid—keep the smelly, noisy stuff away from where people live, and don’t dump toxic waste into the drinking water.
Revolutionary concepts in Iferona, apparently.
“The Educational District!” Sir Formalitee practically sang, pointing to a yellow section. “Schools for all age groups! Libraries! Research facilities! Training centers for vocational skills! All connected by safe pathways and green spaces!”
He continued through each district, growing more animated with each description.
The Agricultural District with its vertical farming towers and greenhouse complexes.
The Recreational District with parks, sports facilities, and entertainment venues.
Each explanation was accompanied by increasingly elaborate hand gestures and the occasional reverential pause when mentioning particularly exciting concepts like “integrated sewage systems” or “zoned commercial districts.”
“The most revolutionary aspect,” Sir Formalitee continued, his voice dropping to an almost religious whisper, “is the implementation of building codes and zoning regulations.” He held up a thick binder with an expression of pure adoration.
“Standardized requirements for structural integrity, fire safety, accessibility, and environmental impact. Organized land use to prevent incompatible activities from interfering with each other. Preservation of historical significance while embracing modern functionality.”
He said “building codes” with the same reverence most people reserved for religious texts or love poetry. It was both amusing and oddly touching. I half expected him to drop to one knee and propose marriage to the binder.
“The implementation will proceed in phases,” he explained, switching to a more practical tone.
“Beginning with infrastructure networks, followed by essential services, then residential construction, and finally commercial and recreational development. We estimate complete transformation within three years, with significant improvements visible within six months.”
As Sir Formalitee concluded his overview, I opened the floor for questions and comments. The room erupted into animated discussion, with representatives from each group eager to contribute.
Clipboard88, representing the construction workers, stood first. “My lord, the void machinery that arrived last week has revolutionized our capabilities! The excavators and bulldozers have already cleared seventeen percent of the condemned eastern district! However, we require additional operators trained in the concrete pouring equipment to maintain our schedule.”