Page 28 of The Cruise Club

Sea days on the Diamond Star began with the aroma of coffee, freshly baked bread and savoury treats drifting from the Terrace Restaurant and Deck Café.

After breakfast, passengers strolled around the ship as it sailed to its next destination.

Many sourced a sunbed by the pool while others joined instructor Kyle on the sun deck for his morning session of Yoga for the Young at Heart or Senior Splashdown.

In the sports zone, strangers became friends over mini golf while the Golden Oldies Gang gathered in the library for a game of Trivia.

‘It’s like a floating paradise,’ Sid said as he stretched out on a steamer chair by the pool and held a copy of the Diamond Star Daily News . ‘There’s so much to do.’

Fran sat beside him. She was studying a crossword. ‘We could stay here and sunbathe,’ she said, her pencil poised as she pursed her lips and looked thoughtful, ‘and you can help me with this crossword.’

‘Go on then, give us a clue,’ Sid said.

‘A drink that you might have on holiday. Eight letters. First four, C-O-C-K.’

‘Tail,’ Sid said, ‘it’s a cocktail.’

‘Favourite form of activity after sixty. Three letters.’

‘Nap.’ Sid nodded.

‘No, silly, and the first letter is S,’ Fran added.

‘Sex?’ Sid looked hopeful.

Fran ignored Sid and licked her pencil. She wrote ‘Sew’ in the clue.

‘Who’s written these?’

‘It’s Brain Teasers for Seasoned Seniors,’ Fran said. ‘I picked the magazine up in the onboard shop.’

‘More like brain teasers for two-year-olds,’ Sid said. ‘As you mentioned the shop, did you see Dicky Delaney’s book on display?’

‘Yes, I’m going to get a copy, and it was next to Ruskin Reeve’s new thriller.’

‘I fancy a thriller; it’s just my sort of reading.’

‘I’m sure Carmen said Ruskin is hosting a workshop today, you might get the book signed if you go along.’

‘Does that mean I’ll have to start writing a novel?’

‘You might.’ Fran looked up. ‘You could call it Sid’s Guide to Getting Away .’

‘I’ll never get away from you,’ Sid grinned and ducked as Fran swiped his head with her magazine. ‘Now, let’s look at what else is on today.’ Studying the front page, Sid suddenly sat up. ‘Blimey Fran, I’d totally forgotten!’

‘What on earth…’ Fran looked startled.

‘Theo McCarthy is giving a talk in the Neptune Theatre,’ Sid announced, his voice filled with anticipation.

‘Oh heck, you mustn’t miss that. What time?’

‘At eleven this morning, and I want a front-row seat.’

‘Smashing, we can have another hour here and then get ready.’

‘Oh, happy days.’ Sid lay back again. ‘This cruising life truly is paradise,’ he exclaimed with a contented smile.

Carmen decided to try Kyle’s Yoga for the Young at Heart, and with Betty playing Trivia in the library with the Golden Oldies Gang, she felt free to head off to the sun deck.

‘Over here!’ Kyle called out when he caught sight of Carmen. ‘There’s plenty of room, grab a mat.’

Carmen remembered taking a yoga course in her thirties, one freezing winter when the nights were dark, and she’d needed to get out of the house. Far away from Betty berating Des all evening, for the late hours her husband spent in the shop.

That was several years ago, and the suppleness she’d built up, despite being frozen to the bone in a cold church hall, had disappeared as fast as her motivation to join the local gym, where toned bodies paraded at all hours, making Carmen feel entirely out of place.

Still, as she rolled out her mat and sat down, Carmen thought an hour’s gentle exercise would be a great way to start the day before she headed off to listen to Theo’s talk.

Keen to learn more about her new friend in his professional capacity, she also made sure Betty was booked in for the tea dance that afternoon, which would enable Carmen to take part in Ruskin’s workshop.

Carmen made herself comfortable and as Kyle welcomed everyone, she watched the young man and remembered his performance in the Mermaid Theatre the evening before.

Carmen had escorted Betty to the theatre, where Betty’s creaking joints and paralysing arthritis miraculously disappeared when she caught sight of Holden.

Unbeknownst to her mother, Carmen had delayed leaving, and after making sure that Betty was comfortably seated and Holden by her side, Carmen hovered at the back of the room to witness Holden order drinks.

After the couple polished off glasses of wine, he escorted Betty to the dance floor.

Holden looked dapper in snazzy red braces, a stars and stripes bow tie and a smart dinner shirt, while Betty wore a full-skirted ballroom gown that had seen many dancing days with Des.

Holden gently led Betty into a waltz, and to Carmen’s surprise, they made a very graceful pair.

You can’t keep playing the frail old lady card , Carmen thought and shook her head in disbelief as she watched her mother moving with Holden as if they’d been dancing for decades.

Carmen was about to leave when one of the dance hosts made an announcement. He began by asking everyone to take a seat, then explained that they were to be entertained by two talented dancers. Many guests would remember the act from their performance on TV for Britain’s Star Search .

‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ he said, ‘please put your hands together for Kyle and Terry, the one and only Tango Tootsies!’

Intrigued, Carmen looked on.

The lights dimmed, and as the band began to play ‘You Raise Me Up’, a couple stepped into the spotlight.

They were dressed in black, with shiny patent shoes and sequinned fringing on their shirts and trousers.

The two men moved like graceful swans, their steps perfectly synchronised as they glided across the floor.

At the pinnacle of the chorus, Terry raised a beaming Kyle high into the air, and the audience gasped.

Carmen glanced at the lady beside her and saw that she had tears in her eyes.

‘It’s the closest thing to heaven when you dance with someone you love,’ she said, her voice filled with emotion.

Carmen smiled at the lady and patted her shoulder, hoping Kyle and Terry’s mesmerising routine wouldn’t inspire Holden and Betty to attempt something similar.

Then, realising that she might be late for the show, Carmen crept away from the entertaining performance.

‘Good morning gang!’ Kyle called out cheerfully, bringing Carmen back to the present.

Barefoot and wearing a bright headband that matched his stretchy shorts, Kyle wore a loose tank top and wristbands. ‘Now, my young at-heart yogis,’ he said, ‘today we are going to align our chakras, but first, we’re going to begin with a gentle stretch.’

Carmen wondered what a chakra was and looking around, was pleased to see Debbie close by, looking bright and eager. Wearing beige leggings and a flesh-toned top, Debbie appeared to have recovered from her episode of the day before.

As Kyle’s yogis moved slowly and he encouraged them into more adventurous positions, Carmen heard a sound like a whoopee cushion and turned to see Debbie, in the downward dog.

‘Oops,’ Debbie winked at Carmen, ‘I shouldn’t have had prunes for breakfast.’

Kyle held out his hands and balanced on one leg. ‘Imagine you’ve a cocktail in each hand,’ he said, ‘and you don’t want to spill them.’

Several yogis stumbled, and one man keeled over.

‘Please, lie on your backs,’ Kyle instructed to those still standing, ‘time for our peaceful meditation.’

Around her, Carmen heard bones creak as they all lay down, but Kyles’s words soothed as he explained a breathing technique, and Carmen gazed up at the sky, where wispy blue clouds floated lazily.

One or two yogis had fallen asleep and to a background of gentle snores, she felt her thoughts drifting away to the show in the Neptune Theatre the evening before, where Dicky Delaney had hosted a Tamla Motown evening.

He’d followed the acts with his own stand-up routine, and Carmen and Theo had agreed that Dicky was at the top of his game; it was a hilarious hour of comedy.

Next to her, Debbie had dozed off but suddenly woke when Don appeared by her side. Towering over her, he called out, ‘Ey, up, Yogi Bear, it’s time for our elevenses. By heck, you look like a crumpet in a nylon stocking in that get-up.’

Startled, Carmen opened her eyes as Debbie rose and glared at Don. Struggling to her feet, she elbowed him out of her way.

‘Namaste,’ Kyle said. The instructor was sitting cross-legged, holding his palms together in a pyramid. ‘You’ve all done amazingly well, now don’t forget to keep practising.’

Theo thought he might be nervous as he stood by the side of the stage, waiting for Peter to introduce his talk.

But his nerves settled as he practised a breathing technique he’d learned while filming episodes of McCarthy’s Kitchen Adventures .

He thought of Ruari, imagining his partner in a front-row seat, together with Theo in spirit.

‘You’ve got this,’ Ruari’s ghostly voice whispered, ‘spread a little sparkle wherever you go!’

Theo remembered Ruari repeating those words every time Theo performed, whether on camera for his TV series or in media interviews, and the words had become a catchphrase that Theo used to end his shows.

If only his partner was with him today! Ruari would have loved this cruise, the luxury, the ambience and visiting all the interesting places.

But Ruari was gone. Slipping quietly away, his heart took its final sigh as he slept beside Theo.

Unable to wake Ruari the following morning, Theo was numb when the ambulance arrived, knowing that the man with whom he’d shared so much love and laughter, had taken an early curtain call.

Their beautiful life together was no longer, and Theo had to go on alone.

Theo touched his wrist and wished that Ruari’s bracelet was still there. Despite an endless search and reporting it missing, the gift had not been found.