Page 24 of The Cruise Club

As dawn broke over the town of Agios Nikolaos on the island of Crete, a soft mysterious mist slowly rose over the turquoise waters of Mirabello Bay and sun-bleached buildings, many with blue-domed roofs, emerged in the morning light.

Awnings of tavernas lining the street were a vibrant splash of colour, fluttering in a breeze that carried the rich scent of wild thyme across the decks of the Diamond Star , now docked at the harbour.

The town was slowly waking, and fishermen wrestling with nets set sail as their boats chugged gently to the Aegean Sea.

Leaning on the railing of their balcony, Fran and Sid savoured the moment, as they stared at the craggy mountain summits, softened by the light and standing protectively beyond the town.

‘It feels like the place is welcoming us,’ Fran said, her silk kimono flapping in the warm wind as she watched the palm trees sway along the quay. ‘As though it’s inviting us to enjoy this special place.’

‘I could get used to this life,’ Sid nodded, ‘there’s something dreamlike about waking up to a different destination every day.’

‘Exactly,’ Fran agreed, ‘cruising is so relaxing with no rush or stress.’

Sid placed his arm around Fran’s shoulder. ‘Standing on this balcony, soaking it all up, feels like time is slowing down.’

‘Aren’t we lucky…’ Fran turned to Sid, her eyes softening. ‘Some folk our age never experience anything like this,’ she said. ‘Growing older can feel like watching your life shrink, when health and mobility go… But here we both are, and fortunately fighting fit.’

Sid gazed at the mountains. ‘Aye, seeing the remaining years grow shorter is a reality check. Makes you realise what’s important before it all fades away.’

‘You are what matters to me, my precious.’ Fran smiled at Sid.

‘Ah, my Blackpool Belle, as the song says, “You to me are everything.”’

‘Oh, now don’t get all soppy.’ Fran held Sid’s face and pulled him into a tender kiss.

As the sun warmed their skin, the couple closed their eyes, lost in the moment’s happiness. Coming up for air and pulling away, Sid said, ‘This cruise has made all the hard graft at the restaurant worthwhile. We should do this every year.’

‘For as long as we can,’ Fran agreed as she sat down. ‘So, what’s the plan for today?’

Sid picked up the Diamond Star Daily News , which earlier, had been tucked under their cabin door.

Adjusting his spectacles, he scanned the list of activities.

‘Well,’ he began, ‘there’s several excursions, including a trip to a local market selling artisan goods, wines and olive oil.

We could have a wander and see what catches our eye. ’

‘I think I did my fair share of shopping yesterday,’ Fran replied, thinking of the hours spent with Carmen as they revamped her entire wardrobe.

Sid lowered the paper. ‘How about a stroll around Lake Voulismeni? It’s in the heart of the town. We could brush up on the area’s history, then stop for a coffee at one of the lakeside cafés.’

‘That sounds more like it,’ Fran agreed. She fished a bottle of pearly pink varnish from a pocket and, resting her foot on Sid’s knee, began to paint her toenails.

‘Or there’s a museum or a monastery?’

‘No thanks.’

‘All right, you don’t fancy those, but there’s a boat trip to Spinalonga Island that includes a walking tour. It used to be a leper colony.’

Fran winced. ‘Oh, those poor people,’ she said softly, ‘what a terrible disease. Thank goodness there’s a cure now.’

‘If you don’t want to do that, we could always go to the beach and have a go at water sports,’ Sid grinned. ‘Do you fancy a spin on a jet-ski?’

‘Now, that sounds like fun!’ Fran sat back to admire her nails, ‘I could top up my tan too.’

‘I’d like to try snorkelling.’ Sid was warming to the idea. ‘I suggest we have breakfast before we set off.’ He folded the Diamond Star Daily News . ‘Pack your towel and tanning cream, and let’s get cracking.’

‘Another free excursion – I’m so glad we’re members of The Cruise Club,’ he said and as Fran stood, he reached out, playfully patting her behind.

Fran giggled and slapped Sid’s hand. ‘Behave yourself, Sidney Cartwright,’ she grinned before disappearing into their room, her kimono fluttering behind her.

‘Ah,’ Sid smiled, ‘one more day of sun, sea and adventure.’

Carmen woke with the mother of all hangovers, and when Betty rapped on the cabin wall with her walking cane, Carmen thought that her head was going to explode.

Every thud felt like a sledgehammer pounding her skull, and she cursed the Corinth Cocktails that she’d consumed with Theo in the casino the evening before.

Carmen hoped that the noise might stop or that the floor beneath Betty’s bed would dissolve and send her mother to the ocean’s depths, but the banging was as relentless as her headache, and with a groan, Carmen had no choice but to get up.

A little while later, when Carmen and Betty were dressed, Betty ate breakfast in her room and soon began to complain.

‘It’s far too hot to be wandering around the streets of the town,’ she said as she shovelled a hefty mouthful of eggs Royale.

‘I’ll get sunburn if you leave me in another café while you go off galivanting. ’

Carmen, unable to face food, sipped a black coffee and watched her mother. A slither of hollandaise sauce dribbled down Betty’s chin, and viper-like, Betty’s tongue darted out before it reached her blouse. The bitterness of Carmen’s coffee mirrored her feelings.

Why couldn’t Betty have stayed at home in Butterly?

Carmen felt a heavy invisible chain wrap around her, one that yanked her back to her mother every time she thought she might escape.

Whenever she’d found an opportunity to free herself of her mother’s ties, Carmen realised that she was beginning to enjoy herself.

Last night with Theo had been a hoot.

Theo had been adamant that they should have a few drinks in the casino, and before Carmen knew it, he was teaching her how to play roulette. To Carmen’s astonishment, she won a considerable amount, and they’d ended the night by celebrating with more champagne.

As the server poured, Theo raised his glass with a grin. ‘To Caterpillar Carmen,’ he said, eyes twinkling. ‘Tell me all about your chat with Ruskin.’

Carmen grimaced, ‘Ruskin terrifies me.’

‘But you sat together?’

‘He invited me to share the table and hadn’t a clue who I was.’

Theo’s gaze swept over her. ‘He must be enchanted by you,’ he said, studying Carmen from top to toe. ‘You look beautiful tonight.’

‘Hardly, and I don’t feel beautiful, I still think I’m frumpy old Carmen.’ She flushed as she sipped the cold champagne, the bubbles tickling her throat. ‘It’s all Fran’s doing, this sudden change in my appearance. She seems to have an eye for a makeover, clothes, hair – the whole lot.’

‘She did a great job.’ Theo wasn’t surprised that Ruskin hadn’t recognised Carmen. He hadn’t recognised her either. ‘But with no disrespect,’ Theo continued, ‘I trust you won’t return to your old wardrobe tomorrow.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ve bagged up my crappy gear and asked Fernando to dispose of it all.’

‘Fernando?’ Theo asked, his eyes distracted as Colin and Neeta entered the casino.

‘The lovely steward who services my cabin,’ she explained.

Theo shuddered as he heard Carmen’s words.

‘Are you all right?’ Carmen asked.

‘Yes, fine, fine,’ Theo replied quickly, turning his back on the couple. Mentioning services in a cabin brought back haunting memories of the previous night in Colin and Neeta’s suite. A party he’d rather forget. He began to chuckle and decided to share his thoughts. ‘Have you heard of the UDPPC?’

‘No, what’s that?’ Carmen looked puzzled.

‘The Upside-Down Pineapple Pensioner Club.’

Carmen’s eyes widened, ‘Is it something to do with the Golden Oldies Gang?’

‘Not really.’ Theo shook his head and remembered the golden oldies he’d seen in the suite. ‘It’s a swingers club for mature people.’

‘You mean…’

‘Yes, swingers, or the lifestyle as they call it. Sex for the over-sixties with no holds barred.’

‘Good heavens,’ Carmen said, ‘I do hope Betty hasn’t heard of it.’

Theo threw back his head and laughed. ‘It might do your mother some good,’ he said, ‘and put a smile on her face.’

‘I think it would kill her or anyone who came close.’

‘Don’t be so sure. Betty could be quite the dominatrix with that silver-topped cane. Discipline, dominance, asserting authority. It’s right up her street.’

‘But how do you know about it?’

‘Let’s just say I stumbled into a party last night by mistake,’ Theo explained. ‘I thought my drink had been spiked.’

As Theo explained his predicament, Carmen began to laugh. ‘I wonder if the ship’s management knows about the UDPPC?’

‘I’m sure Peter does, and he probably turns a blind eye.’

‘Fancy,’ Carmen began to smile, ‘seniors being a little more adventurous in later life?’

‘Knitting by day, naughty by night.’

‘Wheelchairs and wild times…’

‘Bingo with a twist – dabbers at the ready!’

Theo and Carmen giggled like schoolchildren sharing a rude joke, but both looked up when Dicky appeared in the casino. Standing in the doorway, he paused. When his eyes alighted on a lady at a corner table, he moved swiftly across the room.

‘Crickey, her diamonds are brighter than the chandelier,’ Carmen said as she watched Dicky slide into a seat beside the woman, then snap his fingers to summon a server.

Theo closed his eyes to block the memory of the woman wearing only a diamond necklace as she leaned heavily on a walking aid. Returning to safer ground, he said, ‘Tell me what you were talking to Ruskin about, and why does he terrify you?’

Carmen shifted in her chair. ‘Oh, it was nothing really,’ she deflected the question. ‘But why don’t you tell me about your life as a celebrity chef?’ she asked. ‘When I was shopping with Fran, she told me that Sid idolises you and you’re going to be a guest speaker.’

‘Come to my talk and you’ll be bored in no time.’