Page 79 of The Backup Groom

Scotty and I were sitting there speechless, twiddling our thumbs, wondering what to talk about, while Dean and Stella apparently discovered one of the best benefits of having lips.

Instinctively, we both began roasting marshmallows to help distract us from our friends, who were acting like hormonal teenagers.

Hopefully, Dean and Stella would come up for air soon.

Scotty pointed to the fire pit. “Dean, your marshmallows are on fire.”

Dean removed his lips that were suction-cupped to Stella’s mouth and blew out the flaming marshmallows, taking a bite. “Whoops. I guess I got a little distracted there. It’s all your fault.” He licked his lips and bumped shoulders with Stella.

“I accept full responsibility,” she said. “Hey, let’s do something fun. Why don’t we play a game?”

“What kind of game?” I asked.

“Let’s playWould You Rather,” Stella said.

“Never heard of it,” Scotty said.

“Stella and I will show you how it’s done,” Dean said. “Watch and learn. Stella, darling, would you rather have skin that changes color based on your emotions, or have tattoos that appear all over your body depicting what you did yesterday?”

Stella threw her head back and laughed out loud. “Let me see . . . What did I do yesterday?” She thought about it. “Oh, wow, uh-uh, I don’t want a tattoo of that. Not going to happen. I definitely want my skin to change colors based on my emotions.”

“What color would you be right now?” Dean asked. “Never mind, I’ve got it. Red, because you’re smokin’ hot.”

“Oh, good answer,” she said, curling up on his lap to kiss him.

My color was green, as in “green with envy” at the way those two looked so natural together, like they had been dating for years and were still madly in lust with each other.

“My turn,” Stella said. “Would you rather walk in on your parents in the bedroom while they’re getting freaky or have them walk in on you?”

Where the heck was this coming from? We hadn’t discussed playing a game, much less asking such personal questions.

“That’s easy,” Dean answered. “I would rather walk in on my parents. My dad was a total player back in the day, so I could probably learn a trick or two from him.”

Scotty covered his face. “This is my best friend.”

I snorted. “Mine isn’t much better.”

“Okay, put on your thinking cap for this one,” Dean said. “Would you rather wrestle me in mud or in a giant vat of Jello?”

“Depends on the flavor of Jello,” Stella said.

“Strawberry?”

She bounced eagerly. “Sign me up. Would you rather be gassy on a first date or your wedding night?”

“Good grief, Stella,” I said. “What the heck—”

“Is tonight considered our first date?” Dean asked.

“Yes,” she said.

“Well—I would rather be gassy right now at this very moment.”

“Why?” Stella asked.

“For one, you are upwind from me, so you wouldn’t smell it. Only Amber and Scotty would.”

I had just popped my perfectly roasted mallow into my mouth and yet it went shooting across the air right back into the fire.