Page 66 of The Backup Groom

“You know—there are a hundred different jokes I can go with in this situation, but I’m going to just leave that one alone,” Rectum Ryan said.

I laughed. “Well, I do have to say that you gave an Oscar-worthy performance. You were amazing.”

“I guess that one year of drama in high school really paid off.” He chuckled to himself, then turned to Roxanne. “Can we see that one right there?” He pointed to the ring on the second shelf that we had noticed before my cousin arrived.

“Of course.” She pulled out the ring and handed it to me. “It’s one of our most popular. Great price, great quality.”

I slid it on my finger and held it up, watching the light bounce off the diamond, making it twinkle. “Wow. I can’t believe it actually fits me perfectly.”

Roxanne was thrilled about the potential sale. “We sell off the shelf, but we would inspect it one more time to make sure there are no flaws.”

“What do you think, hubby-to-be?” I asked, handing him the ring.

“It’s perfect,” Rectum Ryan said.

I pulled out a credit card and handed it to Roxanne. Luckily, Rectum Ryan didn’t have a problem with me paying for the ring, although the one employee did give me a funny look. It didn’t matter. This marriage deal was my idea, and I wouldn’t feel right if he’d have to put out any money to make it happen, even though he was going to be paid handsomely when it was all said and done.

Roxanne handed me the receipt. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” I said.

That was when Rectum Ryan grinned, and led me by the hand to the center of the showroom. “You said we need to make this official. Why wait?” He got down on one knee right there in the store. “Amber Norris, will you marry me?”

This was it. There was no turning back now. I really didn’t have another choice. If I wanted my inheritance, and if I wanted to quit my job and start my agency, I needed to say yes.

“Amber?” he said.

“Sorry . . .” I smiled. “Yes. I’ll marry you.”

Rectum Ryan slid the lovely ring onto my finger. “Let the adventure begin.”

The employees and other customers clapped and cheered.

He was right; it was going to be an adventure.

This just got real.

I was going to get married again and my honeymoon gift was going to be five million dollars. I should have been elated, jumping up and down at the thought of my life changing for the better.

But why did something feel off?

There was a tightness in my chest and an uneasy feeling in my stomach. It took me a minute until I figured out what it was.

Guilt.

Because even as I said yes to Rectum Ryan, all I could think about was Scotty and the loss of what I was sure could have been a very special relationship. But there was something even more unsettling, a question that was turning my stomach into a knotted mess.

How was I ever going to break the news to Scotty in the morning?

ChapterFourteen

Scotty

“I’ve got a large, decaf Donnie Darko for Buffy!” I called out, setting the drink on the counter to my right, then wiping up a tiny coffee spill from a previous customer.

“Thanks, Scotty,” she said.

“My pleasure,Buffy.” I winked, since I knew her real name was Catherine. “Thanks for coming in.”